I’ve been scammed and can’t get over it

[woohoofolks]

I was trusting and stupid. Bought something semi valuable and a collectors piece from a friend of a friend who lives in Scotland with no problems. He then contacted me to say he had a similar item and was I interested. It was a bit more pricey, £1000, and I decided it was worth it and gave him the go ahead to get it and transferred the money. He then went silent and blocked me. The bank say it’s a civil matter as do the police and to start a small claims against him, which I’m in the process of doing but hold out little hope of seeing my money again.

My friend feels awful but it isn’t her fault but I’m avoiding meeting up.

I feel so stupid and angry with myself and just can’t get over it. I lie awake thinking of him laughing at me. I have dreams of travelling to his door and doing something but I don’t know what.

Anyone any advice on how I come to terms with this? I’m by no means well off but the money I can earn back and replace. But it’s just eating me up. Aib

Why has your friend not stepped in and had a word with him.

Surely your friend knows where he lives, I would get on that first train and go up there and I would be getting my money back no matter what it took

There is a facebook site called Scotlands's Scammers, that you can join.
They seem to get some results.

Check their rules first.
Also if you do get a result, they may say take down the post and we will send you the money. Do NOT take down your post.

Being scammed is the most horrible horrible feeling. Most of us have been there at one point or another. It’s not your fault - weirdly I think you need to forgive yourself and accept it was a scam and it happens ( thankfully not life changingly serious). It was what it was. Life sucks sometimes doesn’t it. Sorry it happened x

Good grief people. This is a known scam and you're falling for it....the OP is hoping you all offer money. COME ON! You'd think after the fiasco of Oliver's Army you'd have a bit more sense FFS.

I’d be cutting ties with the friend too, that’s no friend.

You know where he is? Ohhhhh you’re better than me, I wouldn’t care if he lived on the other side of the world, if I knew where he lived I’d turn up and there’d be holy hell to pay (it’d end up as a Netflix documentary)

@woohoofolks PSR only protects people from unauthorised payments, not authorised but fraudulent ones.

But you can still pursue small claims, and texts/emails are perfectly valid evidence. But un England and Wales, if he doesn't pay they would send the Bailiffs in but the process is different if the person you are recovering from lives in Scotland.@woohoofolks PSR only protects people fro@m unauthorised payments, not authorised but fraudulent ones.

But you can still pursue small claims, and texts/emails are perfectly valid evidence. But un England and Wales, if he doesn't pay they would send the Bailiffs in but the process is different if the person you are recovering from lives in Scotland.

You would need to apply to have the English judgment registered in Scotland under the Civil Jurisdiction and Judgments Act 1982. This is possible but it takes time, money and it only works if he has assets or income that can be enforced against. If he’s a scammer with nothing to his name, enforcement may be pointless. So if you have his home address, try doing a land registry search to see if he owns his home, then you will know if there is money to chase? Registers of Scotland (RoS) The relevant search is called a “ScotLIS” property search. You can check ownership under Registers of Scotland – ScotLIS (Just Google “ScotLIS” - it’s the official government site.) A ScotLIS search will show who owns the property and whether there is a mortgage (a “standard security”).Cost is usually £3 for the title sheet, similar to England.

That's west rather than north

did you pay by credit card, because they have legal help available..

I live in Dunoon, unfortunately I'm not on FB, but have plenty of friends who are.
Feel free to drop me a PM if I can help at all.

I'll come down to Gourock and get the ferry over, if we're need a MN mob to sort this scammer!

Won't necessarily help in the short-term/getting your money back but you could also get in touch with trading standards? https://www.argyll-bute.gov.uk/business-and-licensing/trading-standards

Yep. On a stranger's say-so.

What's his number OP? 🤬

In the original post she never said how far away they were. If they were relatively close, it would have been worth a trip to the door, even if it were just to find out the address was false for the purposes of the small claim.

Have you considered claiming it back through your card for goods/services not received? I think you have 3 to 6 month window to claim. As for not letting it go, just try to accept that it’s a shit situation. First step to forgive yourself.

Surly it’s still theft, ? And you didn’t know him, I think the police and your bank are out of order?
But whatever definitely try to put it behind you, don’t let him rob you of your peace too,…
And be very very careful in future, trust nobody and learn by this, although I still think theft is theft … and your not alone in being ripped off..
imo he needs a good hiding nasty bastard..

Agree Completely 👍

I haven't read all of the replies (only page 1) but I am truly sorry this has happened to you and that you have lost money. I too would be eaten up with annoyance and rage if this had happened to me. Most people would. I wish you all the luck that this has a happy outcome. If you haven't already, please keep us all updated as we are all rooting for you and hoping the scumbag gets his punishment. I'm pleased you could share this with us and it looks like you have already received some good advice. Sending very best wishes xx

Updated to delete as my message posted twice.

I’m not scamming or looking for money. As I’ve stated, the money oddly isn’t the issue. Money can be earned again. It’s the scam itself and the trust. It just leaves you feeling powerless.

You’re describing is exactly how anyone who has been scammed feels. You end up playing the scenario over and Nova in your head and beat yourself up because you didn’t see the red flags that in hindsight were visible. It might be a little consolation but thank goodness it was only £1000 and not significantly more and next time cautious. Again it might not be much consolation, but the fact that you were the victim of a scam just points to your own honesty and decency and lack of skeptic ism and general trust in humanity. I’m sorry that that trust has been locked but many good people have been scammed. You are among many and please do not feel because you are playing with people who are very good at being evil.

Can you report his bank account details to his bank as being used for fraud?
He's set up this scam hobby selling sideline, sells someone one item to get their trust, then offers them other items that he takes money for and does not supply.

I know someone who did something similar, selling tickets to sporting events that didn't exist. A couple of the people he scammed went to his bank and they ended up freezing his account. I don't think he ever got it back.

Name and shame on here, plenty of us in Scotland that could pay him a visit or ruin his socials!