I’ve been scammed and can’t get over it

[woohoofolks]

I was trusting and stupid. Bought something semi valuable and a collectors piece from a friend of a friend who lives in Scotland with no problems. He then contacted me to say he had a similar item and was I interested. It was a bit more pricey, £1000, and I decided it was worth it and gave him the go ahead to get it and transferred the money. He then went silent and blocked me. The bank say it’s a civil matter as do the police and to start a small claims against him, which I’m in the process of doing but hold out little hope of seeing my money again.

My friend feels awful but it isn’t her fault but I’m avoiding meeting up.

I feel so stupid and angry with myself and just can’t get over it. I lie awake thinking of him laughing at me. I have dreams of travelling to his door and doing something but I don’t know what.

Anyone any advice on how I come to terms with this? I’m by no means well off but the money I can earn back and replace. But it’s just eating me up. Aib

Hopefully it's better than when we tried to get unpaid money from a small company some years ago.

After spending out on taking to the small claims they still refused to pay, we were then advised to pay out yet more money to send the bailiffs in, still with no guarantee that we would be reimbursed.

Are you definitely sure it was the same person you were talking to the second time? He may have had his accounts hack and the hacker then contacted all his contacts on the off chance? Was the bank account the same for the second transaction?

I don’t think so but you never know. I’m doubting myself and everyone sort of.

It’s almost not about the money, if you get what I mean, it’s being had. Scammed. It’s horrible. But people in my social group are already got that ‘get over it’ vibe

All the same. Definitely him.

That’s my fear and why I’m struggling with, do I pursue or let it go.

So is your ‘friend’ in Kent or Scotland ? In that could they go round his house easier than you can ? How do they know him is it also through the collecting or a more personal relationship. Like others I can’t see why they’ve not intervened in some way unless they get a cut for introductions .

I had thought of that

Go cause £1000 worth of damage to his property.

We’re both in Kent. She traded with him before I think with no issues. I’m baffled as to why he chose me to scam. I’m making up all sorts of back stories like gambling addiction, money troubles but bottom line is I don’t know. The cold reality is I have £1000 willingly to a total stranger who lives at the other end of the country. Ahhhh, why why why was I so naive

Ok, I know someone who is doing this for a similar matter. The court agreed person A owes Person B money. Person A didn’t pay. So baliffs were sent round to seize goods but couldn’t get anything of value which they could say was his. So now Person B is applying for a thing to go on his bank account and as soon as any money from anywhere is paid into the account the money will be seized (person A won’t be notified beforehand). So it’s possible. Good luck.

Banks should not have to give our money to people who have allowed themselves to be scammed, they're not an insurer for people's misfortunes. As has been said, Small Claims Court is the place to go if there is a paper trail of the transaction.

You were scammed. The bank have a responsibility to help you get it back. Phone them, ask for the fraud investigation team, and ask them to do a charge back. Previous history with the person is not relevant - he fraudulently claimed money from you.
The police should also care (but won't, in my experience) as it is fraud. Report it to Action Fraud to get a crime number (they do nothing else) then you have a crime report number to give to the bank to 'prove' it was a criminal matter.

That is one of my fantasies during the night but realistically I’d end up arrested etc

Once you’ve followed the small claims process, also report it to action fraud. It is a crime to deceive people for cash. Just remember this person was actively trying to deceive you. If they weren’t very good, they wouldn’t have succeeded.

Apologies if you've already taken all these steps OP, I would never accept a first answer from either the police or bank either...definitely ask to make a formal complaint,to escalate your concerns. This often shifts things. Maybe contact the Consumer Champions column in the newspapers or reference that that is your next step.

Thank you, very helpful and I’ll pursue that

I will revisit the bank and police but I have little confidence in their position changing

But the banks can take the money back from the scammer. They rarely investigate or put any safeguards in place, but they can recover stolen money if they are pressured to.
But small claims will help encourage him to give the money back one way or another.

Our money? You are aware banks make billions in profit...it is possible the money can be retrieved

I got scammed out of a few thousand and did the claim through small claims. He ignored the whole thing so I got the judgement in default which he ignored. I enforced it against his bank account and his bank transferred me the money. It took about a good few months but I got it all back. I just sort of wish I had added on a bit extra in terms of how I quantified my loss (he also stole some items of mine that I had to value) now I realise he was always going to ignore the legal process.

My impression when I talked to the bank was that they would investigate it as a bank fraud if there were subsequent onward transfers to conceal and remove the money from the proper processes. Because the money was just sitting in his account the appropriate process is to sue for it through the legal system. So this may be the reason they’re not willing to help you.

Yes. I don’t quite understand why they can’t just reverse the payment if I prove it was fraudulent or why successful small claims can’t insist on that but apparently that’s not how it works

I wouldn’t be too harsh on yourself as you had already purchased something from this person and transaction was completed. I would pursue though small claims. I am the trustee of a charity and I took one of our debtors to the small claims court, agreed to mediation and did get the money (and small claims fee) even though they paid at £50 per month and it took bloody ages!
Good luck!

Thank you, that’s very helpful and sorry you’ve experienced it.

Yeah I was joking but would love to do this with you tbh what a fucking bastard he is

I will update on here so if any learning helps anyone else, some good might come of it

definitely pursue through your bank @woohoofolks

Under UK rules for Authorized Push Payment (APP) fraud, if you were scammed into sending a bank transfer to a UK account for goods you never received, your bank is required by industry regulations to reimburse you in most cases, minus a potential fee of up to £100

Report the crime: Report the incident to the UK’s national fraud reporting service via Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud) or by calling 0300 123 2040 to obtain a crime reference number for your bank.