AIBU to ask how much your husbands contribute to household bills?

[Sugarplum5]

To ask how much your husbands pay into the family home? Does he expect you to pay half the bills, does he pay them all etc?

All money goes into the same account and everything paid out from that account. We both spend what we need/want - within reason, any large purchases are discussed.

DH earns 2.5 times what I do and in the past when I was part time it was much much more but all money is regarded as family money.

He pays 100% as I’m a SAHM

We have never had a joint account and don’t plan to. DH transfers money in to my account and I pay the bills. Any surplus I save or spend.

At the moment, I’m not working due to cancer so Dh pays all our bills, plus transfers me about £1000 a month personal spending money.

In normal times, when I was still working, we paid proportionately into our joint account for bills. Dh paid about 2/3 and me about 1/3 based on how much we earned. Anything else was personal spending money. Dh earns more than me so tends to also pick up any extra expenses, like holidays or a new boiler or big car repairs.

Generally, we tend to parent about 50/50, though I do more with the kids and the house at the moment as I’m not working. Dh still does a lot of the taxiing and taking them on days out or away for the weekend (for example, he’s taking them camping for 2 nights this weekend so I can rest after a busy week).

No OP, that doesn't sound right at all.

You're going to need to make a list of all bills, food, clothing etc which are regular monthly bills.

Then a list of 'nice to have's' i.e Takeaways, holidays etc.

You then look at what your wages/benefits are monthly. (Don't forget to add extra for your pension contributions as you're missing out on that by being part-time, but being part-time also saves on childcare, so to avoid you having less of a pension due to caring responsibilities, you need to pay extra in).

You add the total bills and 'nice to have' spends as well as the non changing regular bills.

You put the bills money into a new joint account every month and savings (for hols/takeaways etc) into a separate account.

All bill/food/kids & school clothing & activities gets paid for from the bills account. All takeaways/holidays gets paid for from the savings account.

Whatever money is left from both your wages then gets split, £x amount each for personal spends (NOT for kids stuff etc) and the rest split for you both to have personal savings.

It's the only way that you're both actually paying for 'family' expenses fairly as well as getting personal spends and personal savings.

(Personal savings I wouldn't disclose to a spouse who didn't also save. Once it's in 'your' savings, it's no longer 'family' money imo. Too many women end up paying for all the kids clothing/activities etc simply because they are the ones booking or taking them to sports/classes and taking them shopping & buying their clothing when the kids have grown etc!)

We share every penny we have. Can’t understand why you wouldn’t when you’re married

Because it's better to be safe than sorry.

Growing up, it was a slight joke that my mum and her friends had 'a running away fund', but i suspect there may have been some truth in it.

And some of us have been burned in previous relationships.

Because when I was married we put everything into 1 pot which he took out over the course of a weekend to pay for some furniture for the OW's flat...he also maxed out the joint credit card the day before he left us to move in with her. I learnt the hard way not to trust a soul with all my hard earned money.

Very little housework, will wash up after tea sometimes or when I'm at work, hoover down stairs. Doesn't do any washing, doesnt clean bathroom or hoover upstairs. His view is our older children should be doing a job which i agree and they do but it's his attitude. Childcare yes but not much.

95%.

I pay a nominal amount to him per month from my part-time salary, and he covers almost everything including my car and fuel, joint socialising and groceries. I pay for my own subscriptions, DD's hobby, my own socialising and clothes, and some clothes for DD.

We just have one bank account so all our wages get paid into our joint account account.

We then have separate credit cards for when we need to make present purchases but one pot.

This

my husband pays for everything. I try to cover food and fun stuff. There is a HUGE discrepancy in what we earn as I earn below minimum wage, whereas he’s in IT.

We pay proportionally into a joint account so we are both left with the same disposable income and we then cover all joint expenses from the joint account.

We have a joint account.
We put most of our money there and the bills are paid off from there.
We get a few hundreds for personal expenses.
Then he puts aside some of his salary (he earns much more) for investments, pension, kids' future university fees, etc.
We both have credit cards that we use but everything is paid off from the joint account. But we live rather frugally, excluding the holidays (both our families live abroad).
DH was not really involved in kids' lives for the first 5 years. I did everything with them and worked from home, too. This has changed now as they have grown and do extracurricular, so he takes them there. But everyday cooking and cleaning is still on me, but it's fine.
I couldn't live like you - I would be so stressed!

My husband earn over double what I earn. We have a joint account which mortgage, household bills and groceries come out of. He pays half of his salary into that account each month which covers all of them. We each pay our own phones, own cars and put money into savings from our own accounts. Anything left in our own accounts after that is ours to do what we please with. Childcare and clothes for adds are paid from the child benefit.

We’re both retired, not getting state pensions yet so we both have private pension incomes. His private pension income is £3k more than mine, so all bills (no mortgage) come out of his income. Mine pays for my hair appointments, my hobby at £24 per month and lunch/coffee out with a friend once or twice a month. I also have savings from when I worked which I tap into for clothes, presents for DH (birthday, Xmas) and any other essential items, as does DH from his savings.
We have ISAs which we use for larger purchases like cars and holidays, it doesn’t matter which one we use as they’ve been built up from joint money when we both worked. This works really well for us.

No idea. He earns more than me, all money is pooled, split into bills, monthly spending (groceries, kids’ stuff etc), savings, and equal spending money for us both each month.

He pays everything, my salary gets saved for holidays, contingency and kids savings, school dinners trips etc

We have 3 accts. 1 personal one each that our salaries go to and a house joint acct. We have standing orders so majority of each salary automatically gets transferred to joint acct after pay day. We've organised it so that we are left with the same amount each in our personal accounts. Joint acct is for all bills, food, family trips/holidays anything related to children eg clothes etc these are all shared expenses so come from joint acct. The personal accounts we use purely for things we spend on ourselves, eg our own clothes, nights out with friends etc, fun money. we've done it this way when we've earned the same amount and when we've earned vastly different amounts so we always both have the same lifestyle. No complaints from either side and no one ever 'owes' the other one money for anything, minimal stress.

We are a blended family so to keep things simple we split all bills and mortgage 50/50.

We both put the same % of our take home pay into the joint account & all bills come out of that.
Except when I was on maternity and DH pretty much paid for everything.

I get the 'one big account' thing but I like having my own funds too fritter away on statuettes of kittens, hair clips and stationary.

We don’t have his and hers money. We share. Both salaries into one joint account and all bills out. We share what’s left.

Sometimes he’s earned more. Sometimes I do. Sometimes one of us has been SAHP and not earning or part time. It doesn’t matter. We are a family and we pool our resources together.

May I ask why?

Why not?