AIBU to ask how much your husbands contribute to household bills?

[Sugarplum5]

To ask how much your husbands pay into the family home? Does he expect you to pay half the bills, does he pay them all etc?

I should say over the years who was the highest earner has varied and we've both had periods when we didn't work because of redundancy, poor health or childcare. No one cared who was putting most into the pot.

I imagine part of the problem maybe if he’s self employed your DH’s income may be more variable.

In our situation I am the one who is self employed and works part time to look after the children. Before I went self employed we worked out that if I earnt no money at all DHs income would just about cover mortgage, bills and food. We analysed our finances and both agreed that the self employment route was viable and best for the family.

DHs wage gets paid into the joint account, when someone pays an invoice for me I keep money back for next years running costs and tax but my income then goes into the joint account too.

All of the money we spend either on bills or otherwise comes out of the joint account, we don’t have other personal accounts for buying things for ourselves.

So some months we scape by with DHs wage technically paying for everything. Other months I contribute more to the account than he does.

But overall it doesn’t matter, it isn’t seen as his money or my money it’s all just our money. We both know exactly how much money there is and one of us never has more spending money than the other. For us it works well.

This will probably horrify a lot of people but in my house, my husband is actually the one responsible for making all the money. That's his job. I have other responsibilities.

However, we help each other with our jobs as required, so I helped build the family business which helped maximise the income it brings in. I also clean as many know and those earnings are paid to the business, too.

He makes sure my responsibilities are not overwhelming for me in a plethora of ways.

All the money the business generates as profit for us goes into a joint account and we both have access to it of course. The point is that if we are aware that the "breadwinning" isn't my job so if my actual jobs need attention, the things I do to bring in money will be the first to go.

You say that but there seems to be a huge number of couples who don't pool their money.

Everything is split 50/50 but we don’t have any joint accounts. Some bills come out of his, some out of mine and we transfer over whatever’s needed to make it even. We’re both self-employed and earn within 2k of each other over the year. No DC though and no plans to ever have any.

He earns a bit more than me. He pays all bills and mortgage. I pay for holidays, kids clubs, clothes, cleaner, decorating , gifts, food is shared.
I clean the loos, he puts out the bins. We both cook. Feels fair to us.

We do similar to a previous poster - wages go into our own account and we each retain about £700 of that - remainder goes into joint account for all bills including food. Child benefit is paid into mine just because it always has been. I earn a bit more than DH but this way we both have our own money to play with/for birthday and Christmas presents etc and know all bills are covered fairly.

DH pays the majority of bills - council tax, energy, broadband etc. I buy food. Just us 2 and mortgage free and both retired. Each pay for own car expenses. We take turns with eating out and go halves on holidays. We also have savings, separate but just in different accounts to maximise interest etc so any big expenses like new car or essential repairs comes from there. This has always been the case when we were working too. He was a higher earner then and now his pension income is £800 a month more than mine.

Its always worked for us.

No?

Money is pooled. What’s left we split evenly into our own accounts

Why would he pay them all regardless of who is working/ earning more?

Why would he not?

We put 2/3 of our salary into joint account for mortgage, bills, childcare and anything shared. Remaining 1/3 is for our own stuff. He has an expensive hobby which he pays for, I have a car on finance. He goes out more to eat with friends, my hair and nails are obviously more.
This works

Surely that's obvious? Because if you are working and he is not, or if you earn more and he earns less, it would be easier and more affordable for you to pay the bills? Why would he continue to do it regardless of how much you both earn?

I genuinely don't understand your question or your perspective.

DH had a higher income so he paid the bills. We paid half each for groceries. It worked for us.

Really? you don't understand that if there are two people who are partners/ live together/ share a home and one has 100 pounds and the other has 5 pounds, and the bills are 5 pounds, that it makes more sense that it would be paid by the person who has 100 pounds (or at least they pay more) rather than expecting the person with 5 pounds to pay all of it regardless of how much money they each have?

Oh, I see what you mean. We don't assign income as individuals. It's our money.

We both pay £2000 a month into a joint account, from which we pay the mortgage, council tax, utilities, any childcare and the credit card that we use for food, clothes for the children, etc. The remainder of our incomes are ours to spend on cars, mobile phones, clothes, entertainment etc. In practice we each end up with money left over each month, plus some excess from the joint account, and this all goes into shared savings for holidays, home improvements and a rainy day fund.

We're lucky that we both have similar attitudes to spending and we both earn similar amounts - albeit one of us works five days in a low-stress role with good flexibility, and the other works three longer high-intensity days in a stressful professional role with a higher hourly rate. We jointly agreed to this arrangement as it means we both have manageable stress levels and contribute similar amounts to the household.

When one of us has had a reduced income - so far this has happened due to maternity leave and a period between jobs after a redundancy - the share of contributions to the joint account has been temporarily adjusted.

DH 70% me 30%. We work out a monthly budget for everything child and house/ joint related. Split that 70/30 and put it into the joint account.
DH tends to then pay more on holidays.

I work 30 hours, he works 40 and I take home a third of what he does for context.

this is exacly our set up too, pretty much down to the £700 each float and the CB going into my account, the CB to me means our net income is equal each month as he earns a few k more than me but pays into a public sector pension.

Everything comes out of that account for the family, kids clothes, holidays, groceries.

the £700 each covers our own fuel, spends, days away, coffess out, Xmas gifts for each other etc.

I recommend joint account plus individual accounts. Then either pay proportionally into the joint account or both get the same amount of individual money out (we do a combination of both so DH gets a bit more individual money as the higher earner but not the full proportional amount). Before you start, you need to work out all expenses including all child expenses so what you pay in adds up to at least that. All joint expenses including everything for children comes out of the joint account.

Same here. We have one DS and this also covers all expenses for him e.g. school uniform, wraparound childcare, school trips. DH and I earn similar amounts which makes it more straightforward but I think even if we earned very different amounts we would just pool it. Neither of us would want the other to struggle financially or for DS to go without.

When my husband was alive he earnt way more than I did,he paid for everything.from our joint account,which I didn’t pay into.I had a separate account and all that money was mine.He also made sure that if anything happened to him (which it did) that I am well provided for.

My DH pays them all. I pay for everything else that’s needed. He has more money coming in than me. Far more.