AIBU to ask how much your husbands contribute to household bills?

[Sugarplum5]

To ask how much your husbands pay into the family home? Does he expect you to pay half the bills, does he pay them all etc?

I earn more than him. Everything is pooled as it was when he earned more than me / mat leave etc. What is left is spent as we fancy. Big ticket items are discussed in advance out of courtesy but no one ever really vetoes anything as we both have similar approaches to spending.

We have never had a joint account. Married 35 years.

At the beginning, I had the house and high income, dh was on his uppers.

When the first baby came along, I still earned more but DH had prospects. We were roughly 50/50 at that stage.

Then I gave up work (sick baby), DH's career took.off and he paid everything: mortgage, bills, school fees, spends, etc.

I went back to work, earning relative teeny amounts and picked up my personal.sownds and DC's clothes, then the odd club.

DH changed trajectory as I became a director. As the DC finished education. We earn even stevens now and lay out even stevens (ish).

Never had a row about money. I don't think they happen when things are fair.

If you find yourself having to ask, it's probably not a fair set up. Maybe it's time to list all outgoings and split it in a fair way so you both shoulder the main costs.
Holidays and takeaways are luxuries that can follow.

Married for 30 years, my DH has paid every bill. We have a joint account, and we have our own accounts too.

Our money is pooled and always has been and we each have separate personal accounts with the same spends each. It solves the problem of different levels of income and shared family responsibilities.

All money is family money and pooled. We earn very similarly now dc are older teens but dh always viewed our worth equally even when our employers didn’t.

You don’t have to have pooled money but it needs to be fair. You need to sit down and work out all your expenses including things for the children, then pay things based on your income. Easiest way is to have a joint account that you both transfer your share into but you could also pay set bills… I wouldn’t have everything in your name if he won’t send the money across.

Nothing! I work and earn the money, he does all the child care. All our money goes into one account and everything comes out of there.

Same here.

Bills shared 50/50 from a separate account. Wages go into personal accounts.

Dh pays it all.

All money pooled. He earns 6 x what I earn. We made the decision when we first had children that I would take time off and then return part time which I still do now (despite children being 24 and 26).

We have two different bank accounts - I use my account until my wages are all gone (usually by around 12th of the month with direct debits and shopping) and then I just transfer it from his account.

I pay all the bills as soon as the money hits the account (he is self employed so it is hit and miss some months) and put a set amount into savings. After that its fair game - sometimes I will book a holiday and spend a stupid amount, other months I won't spend much at all. During the winter he spends a ridiculous amount on going to rugby matches.

I have Amazon, Paypal and Ticketmaster set up to come out of his account although it is me that uses it the most.

We are a partnership - to us sharing everything is the norm. I dont understand people that dont. Its a bit weird when it comes to birthday and xmas presents but its the thought that counts rather than where the money comes from. As everything is pooled we tend to do joint experiences rather than gifts (weekend breaks, etc)

He never questions me what I spends (this year a ridiculous amount on horses, concerts, shoes and holidays) and I would never dream of questioning him on what he spends (beer, rugby and lads days out). As long as all the bills are paid (we are mortgage free) and money goes in the savings account what is left is there to be spent! You cant take it with you

We pro rata based on our earnings. DH pays 70% I pay 30%. We each put the same each month in the joint account for food and holidays are 50/50. We pay for our own cars and phone bills.Only DH and I no children.

He pays 100%. Everything I earn, I keep for myself 100%.

I realise that's probably not the norm for a lot of people, but I should probably mention that we're Muslims and the duty of financially providing 100% falls on the man according to our religion. We honour that in our marriage.

We both put into a joint account for bills+food. Rest is our own. Although we do now actually save for a holiday each year, rather than kind of hoping there will be enough.

He puts slightly less than me, because i earn more. I also probably pay more for the kids' stuff.

Doesn't bother us because we all have what we want/, need. If i asked him to pool all his wages, he would. I probably wouldn't though.

Are both your names on the mortgage OP?

Zero. He was a sahd that never returned to work.

Technically nothing - my salary covers all of the bills and monthly spending and his goes into investment pots/funding holidays/saving for a new car.

But in reality all money is joint but we have different paydays, so on his payday all of his salary goes into one of the above pots and on my payday it goes into the joint account.

All money paid into joint account. All bills paid from joint account. Equal spending money.

He pays twice what I pay into our joint account for bills/food shops. He will typically pay for eating out directly from his account. Holidays are shared equally - generally well priced european city breaks. Mortgage is paid.

Both salaries paid into joint account. All money is pooled and shared, we obviously discuss major purchases. But DH runs his own business and has to manage those finances, so in practice I look after all the home finances.

We put a pro-rata’d amount into a joint account to cover all household & child expenditure, and keep the rest of our money separate. I earn more and wouldn’t expect to have to sub him, (although he has a full time job so domestic tasks are shared, it’s not like I’m paying someone to keep house and take care of the children like when a woman earns less.) I do put in extra for holidays or if he wants a better car.

All our money goes into a joint account and all the bills are paid from that.

We have some joint savings but mostly our savings are individual because ISAs and premium bonds can’t be in joint names. We consider all money to be joint, whether it’s in joint names or a single name.

That has been our approach over the 35 years of our marriage and it has worked well for us.

If you arent happy then write a list of all expenses, detail what he pays and what you pay and tell him it is not fair that he doesnt contribute the same amount that you do.
You need the figures to show him. Both the regular monthly stuff and the annual stuff. Ideally also the percentage of your income that is spent on bills etc v the percentage of his that is.

All goes into one account.

We’re not flatmates.