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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how much your husbands contribute to household bills?

224 replies

Sugarplum5 · 11/08/2026 18:46

To ask how much your husbands pay into the family home? Does he expect you to pay half the bills, does he pay them all etc?

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 11/08/2026 18:46

All money pooled.

Foughties · 11/08/2026 18:48

One pot. Spreadsheet. What's left is halved and in our private accounts. He earns almost 4 x my salary.

Blimms · 11/08/2026 18:48

All of our money is in the same account.

PancakeCloud · 11/08/2026 18:48

Each pay 50% of salary into shared pot which covers bills and holidays

WineCharm · 11/08/2026 18:49

He pays them all. He pays them all when I work, when I don't work, when we both work. When I make more, when he makes more etc.

BranClaps · 11/08/2026 18:49

He pays 100% of the bills, mortgage etc

arethereanyleftatall · 11/08/2026 18:51

This is a strange question op. You are two people. It doesn’t matter who is the husband and who is the wife. Married couples tend to pool their money, because married couples tend to want to be in a partnership with each other.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 11/08/2026 18:52

We pool our money so no one pays specific bills, we both contribute, but he earns a bit more than me now. At times I've earned more or the same. We have the same spends regardless.

Justaquestionplease · 11/08/2026 18:53

We both work full time. He earns three times what I earn. We have separate finances.

He pays mortgage, gas/electric/water, broadband, car payments, car insurance, holidays

I pay council tax, food and kids stuff

He also sends me a few hundred every month as a bit extra

HarlanCobenDogshit · 11/08/2026 18:53

All pooled. Bills / savings allocated.

He's a low spender so gets an allowance to cover petrol and beer.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/08/2026 18:53

all your questions will depend on so much stuff - jobs, kids etc. so it will be different for everyone. Is there an issue you need to figure out?

Binfire · 11/08/2026 18:53

50% of his salary into a shared account for bills/ kid stuff/ holidays/ Christmas etc as I do. He works 5 days and I do 4 so he earns more and therefore pays more in but also gets to keep more too.

Whattheflock · 11/08/2026 18:54

All in the one pot. No “personal spends”. We spend what we like from the pot, but big things (maybe £1k upwards) would be discussed first.

budgiegirl · 11/08/2026 18:54

All our income is pooled into one joint account, all bills/expenses/fun money is paid from there. Anything left is put into savings, some joint savings and some individual for tax purposes, but still considered joint as far as spending it is concerned. We don't really have any of our own money, but neither are we big spenders, and will discuss any big purchases. But if he wants to go play golf, and I want to get my hair done, that all comes out of the joint account. It's worked well for us for 30 years.

Teenagerantruns · 11/08/2026 18:55

My wife pays all tbe bills, l pay for everything else. But we are old now. Kids long gone, works OK for us.

Nimblethimble · 11/08/2026 18:55

I used to earn more than him.

Then we had children and I went part time, now he earns more.

All money into same joint account, all bills paid from that account.

Mt563 · 11/08/2026 18:56

All money pooled and considered joint. I earn 2x him so I guess technically he contributes 33% but we really don't work like that.

cantpullthetrigger · 11/08/2026 18:56

This is written from the (outdated) assumption the husband is the primary earner.

edwinbear · 11/08/2026 18:56

I earn 3 x DH’s salary, so he pays 1/3, I pay 2/3. I pay for family holidays, work needed on the house etc.

Beer3000 · 11/08/2026 18:57

We get an equal amount of "spends" and everything else goes in a shared pot. Both of us have earned more at different points but it's mostly been pretty equal.

Philandbill · 11/08/2026 18:59

Joint account for all household bills and DC related expenses. We earn differently so put different amounts in so that we have the same amount of personal spending money left in our own accounts once we've paid into the joint.
I actually think that the key thing is that we have a similar attitude to money and spending and trust each other. Neither of us would put a holiday on a credit card and we don't prioritise fancy cars etc. We're both fairly low maintenance really.

Frankenspencer · 11/08/2026 19:00

Mine pays the mortgage, then doubles it as an overpayment. I pay most household bills and food shopping.

We’re grinding on the mortgage to be able to retire in 3 years.

Ponderingwindow · 11/08/2026 19:00

All money is pooled. We went back and forth on who was the higher earner for some time, but he outpaces me at this point. We spend equally.

allthemind · 11/08/2026 19:00

Earn similar. All money pooled, joint account.

Needanadultgapyear · 11/08/2026 19:01

He gives me a set amount at the beginning of each month and never asks a question. Sometimes I earn more sometimes he earns more. He is an ostrich when it comes to money.
He currently earns more than me, but both our cars are salary sacrifice from his pay.
The system works for us.