AIBU to feel cross at online school and autistic daughter over A level results?

[hurtandconflicted]

We were expecting to get the results on Thursday and I had booked a day off to celebrate. However we got the results this morning and they are not great.
Late diagnosis after she started at college and just could not cope so we agreed that she leave in May and then wait to start her A levels online. No financial support from the LA and no EHCP.
At first things were going great and in her mocks she was predicted three A’s. But she took her foot off the gas, not burnt out, just not got herself into a good routine and due to her demand avoidance I resisted being too demanding of her.
We have spent approximately £20,000 on her education and she has come out with B,C and a D. I can’t decide who I am most cross with, school for sending the results on the wrong day or DD for not knuckling down.
Im hoping that someone can talk me out of feeling like this!

She isn't a child if she is over 18 and given she is clearly academic you need to be careful not to treat her like one.

I think that they are a nice set of results from a student with special needs and enough for a nice uni place.

Not that I’m saying SEND kids can’t excel.

My son knew he’d got his first choice uni place on the Friday before so the results weren’t a big surprise.

To be honest I was relieved because I don’t like big emotional stuff. Not that it would have been. My son’s like me. We don’t do big feelings.

I hope you have a lovely chilled day tomorrow.

Online schools are expensive but definitely good for kids who get overwhelmed.

You’ve done a great job providing for your DD and her A levels will be a good start for her.

What’s she hoping to do next?

I have two autistic children. Infantilising disabled people is a real issue.

I really hope your daughter sees the positives in her results and does brilliantly at her apprenticeship, where she can grow and understand her value as a full and rounded adult.

hurtandconflicted ·

'And when you find yourself with an autistic child you don’t get a handbook, you just do the best you can'

Absolutely I do think you have had a hard time on here. With regard to the results I am glad that you and your Dh were forewarned. I still remember my Dad coming to meet meet me at work with my O'level results in and envelope and a grave expression. I'd quite forgotten they were due and he was so kind. I was glad that someone had intercepted them for me.

There is always time for huge growth in your DD's future environment. It is great that she has your support.

Thank you all for your positive comments and helping me give my head a wobble. We made her aware that we knew beforehand and she was fine with that. We have been out for lunch and are out for a meal tonight to celebrate.

Please keep us posted on what course she picks next!!