Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

@Beautifulhaiku

Yes, I agree with what you're saying.

Of course it's natural for humans to want to be attractive to the gender they fancy. I think of myself as a strong feminist but I love clothes and fashion as much as the next woman.

Of course women might want to present themselves as sexually attractive, as I guess men do to (but it seems to me - without being pushed so far by societal pressure).

My view is very much influenced by working with teenagers and hearing/seeing the unhealthy pressure some of them feel about personal appearance. I've seen young girls bullied and sneered at for not wearing certain trends and I've also seen some highly concerning sights where girls have worn revealing clothing at inappropriate times and places. I'm not talking just a rolled up skirt here - more like what OP is describing. I just don't think this comes from them - it must be due to unhealthy external pressure: boys influenced by porn culture and social media.

Yes that’s perfectly ok . They are covered that’s the point .

Who have I 'slagged'? Ive been extremely polite despite been told I'm a broken record, I'm going on and on etc. Sticking to my guns is not belittling anyone.

I have - societal norms. As I woman I feel fortunate to have a larger range of what I can choose to wear, I don't see it as a bad thing. If it was more common/normalised for men to wear thongs, then more would probably chose to.

Looking at running again - a lot of men wear much shorter shorts than typically worn by men outside of running, with others wearing a range of lengths.

There again is a different standard on children. They can run about or play naked or in just a nappy when younger - adults can't. Equally some clothes, activities, drinks are not appropriate for them. People saying the pants rule confuses kids, from my experience it doesn't, it's easy to explain there is a difference between children, and what adults might chose to do. Same with kids understanding girls covering their breasts, but men being topless.

In terms of the sexual nature of it, whatever women wear, people can make that argument - people with large breast find people sexualising them if they were tighter tops, some people argue for burqas and showing anything is seen as sexual.

If a woman does wear a thong bikini because 1) they find it comfortable 2) they like how it makes them feel 3) they like the attention why is tat a bad thing? They can surely chose to wear it for any reason or combination of reasons they like - that is one of our freedoms that I am very glad we have!

But you agree practically naked is not naked?

No apology needed, I actually think that’s what has made the thread so interesting! What started as a very simple “would you wear this / would you want to see this?” question has opened up a much bigger discussion about why we make the choices we do, how much of that is genuinely personal preference, and how much is influenced by societal expectations. And I’m quite happy for the thread to be “derailed” in that direction.

You are aware people have different erogenous zones... for some people it's the back of their neck, their back, it could be their stomachs or feet... should we completely cover up because of this?

The butt cheeks of someone are not their sexual organs.

So you admit now it’s attention seeking . Why is it the social norm for women ? If a man was walking around in budgy smugglers because he liked the “attention “ in a cafe I would be judgy too.

Otterly - the thread has been derailed a lot, by all kinds of strange things, hasn't it?

My interest is in the implications for feminism and how feminism has changed since I was young. This is to be expected, but I still have an opinion!

I just think that the 'women can wear what they like' can be disingenuous sometimes. We need to constantly ask why women wear what they do and what is changing in society to make them want to wear certain things.

I see disparity between what men do/want and what women are 'expected' to do. You often see a woman who's clearly taken endless trouble on her appearance (inflated lips, all-over tan, uncomfortable clothes etc) with a horrible slob of a man shuffling along in his trackies and scrolling on his phone.

Yes and It's fine to think it was inappropriate in your view just without the yuk and all the ensuing grim descriptions and mockery about thong wearers that we've had from other posters.

If they aren’t sexual it would be fine for kids to wear this . Simple as.

Not so much where I am - most people cover up pretty well!

I think having your skin out in direct sun is hotter than a thin, loose, breathable layer in a light-coloured fabric, but perhaps that's personal preference!

Yes, and men choose, by and large in Britain, Australia, NZ, the US, Canada (and perhaps other places - so maybe most English-speaking nations?) to wear swim shorts and not thongs. I think that's interesting.

And no, I don't think that women necessarily dress for men as such, as individuals, but I do think that the trend of things such as high heels, heavy make-up, Botox, fillers, thong bikinis, scrunch bum leggings, very low cut tops etc are all evolving within a patriarchal culture that has a strong tendency to sexualise and objectify women, frequently seeing them as ornamental objects more than people.

To think you can live within that environment without being (subconsciously) influenced by it is a little naive.

If a woman does wear a thong bikini because 1) they find it comfortable 2) they like how it makes them feel 3) they like the attention why is tat a bad thing? They can surely chose to wear it for any reason or combination of reasons they like - that is one of our freedoms that I am very glad we have!

Yes -we do have these freedoms, unlike some areas of the world, which we shouldn't take for granted even if we don't approve of them ourselves.

A thong bikini might be OK on the beach, while swimming or sunbathing...but I would put on a sarong for lunch at the cafe. Just a layer between you backside and the seat, please! Or shorts, a skirt or kaftan.

Men dress and behave in a way to attract attention from the opposite sex (or same sex depending on sexuality) too, unsurprisingly this is different between the sexes.

Also no I haven't admitted it attention seeking. I've given that as 1 example out of many as part of the reasoning that someone may chose to wear a thong bikini.

Also even if someone is choosing to wear a thong bikini because they like the attention - what is wrong with that?!

@CoatiCutie funny no one has an issue with kids having the back of their neck , or their feet exposed yet no one would put a child in a thong bikini. Despite your claim it’s simply comfortable attire for people with sensory issues etc .

Why can't women dress modestly and demurely? Why do they have to show everything they've got in public? What is left to show their significant other in private?

I do not think men respect women who flaunt their flesh.

That's part of it though. You would choose to because that's how you'd feel comfortable (not just physically), other may choose not too. I wear clothes others would choose not too, equally others wear clothes I wouldn't

You're the one saying people should cover erogenous zones... of which those places can be just like butt cheeks, which for some people aren't.

For the same reason someone walking around naked to attract attention would offend me , basically . It’s too much . It’s not appropriate in a family cafe .

Oh if for some people they aren’t then it’s fine for kids to wear them because for them they aren’t , by your logic

This is disingenuous - the buttocks are considered private parts by most of the western world, and I think we all know that.

'And no, I don't think that women necessarily dress for men as such, as individuals, but I do think that the trend of things such as high heels, heavy make-up, Botox, fillers, thong bikinis, scrunch bum leggings, very low cut tops etc are all evolving within a patriarchal culture that has a strong tendency to sexualise and objectify women, frequently seeing them as ornamental objects more than people.'

It's just fashion and trends though. People have always dressed in a way that may shock people whatever the fashion is. It's really no different today than 20yrs ago.

What is more pronounced is the blatant misogyny. We had a thread recently about school skirts and the language was appalling. People using words like tramp and whore to describe how these schoolgirls looked. I obviously pulled people up on it but there was only a handful of us that did so.

We can object to clothing and sexualisation yes but the langauge used has to be more appropriate. 'Yuk' 'gross' etc shouldn't even be used to criticise women.

Great so be offended - as long as it's not illegal, then you get no say in what others do. You can not like it, but that doesn't make it wrong, or a moral failing on those choosing to wear what they like.

Sorry but I do think arse cheeks on full display at a cafe is “gross” whether you are male or female . And that’s not a reflection of the person themselves I just find the fashion gross and yuk

Not on a beach or beach area though.