Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

Kids are taught they are private parts and “covered by a swimsuit “ . There is no reason to subject children and everyone else to your private erogenous zones in a restaurant. If it was just innocent fashion and comfort we would allow kids to dress like that. Surely you can see how sexualised and different it is ? It’s not like a thigh . Not at all. If you can’t see that you are lacking in some sort of basic social and sexual awareness

I don't want to see anyone ever in cheese wire clothes

Why are you bringing adhd into this ? I’ve never heard anything more ludicrous and I’ve plenty of people with adhd in my family . Who don’t lack social awareness like this

Agree I’ve no issue whatsoever with nudists either . I can understand the mentality behind it and a designated nudist area is a perfectly acceptable place to get a bum out , not a cafe

'I didn’t make the post because I wanted to criticise this woman, police what she wears or somehow tell her what she should do'

'She keeps getting up and bending over! I am not a prude I don’t care what people wear it’s just in my face and she is sitting in a chair made of string. On lots of levels it is yuk'

You didn't want to criticise her or judge her but thought you'd share that 'she keeps getting up and bending over!' and how you think this is 'lots of levels of yuk'.

Sounds a bit like criticism to me.

As previously mentioned, surely you are then aware about sensory issues. It's not lacking social awareness to wear a thong bikini, like many others, at the beach or swimming pool 😂 It's no different than running in small running shorts and a sports bra compared to someone else choosing to run in full on leggings and a running jacket!

I personally don't like thong-wear in anything on public view but on a beach - I get it.

To me it's the lunch aspect of the OP which makes things different. i just think - at lunch, bung on a sarong or shorts.

I sometimes think it's as simple as the fact that women might not always check their back view. Would the young woman mentioned in the OP really be happy to expose so much flesh while sitting down if she could see that view of herself?

If the answer is no, it's unfortunate.

If the answer is yes, it might be even more unfortunate in the sense that she needs to consider how her fellow diners might feel!

Talk to the woman ? You must be joking.

Criticism is fine. Since when is criticism forbidden?

There are lots of things to discuss here. You are constantly scolding pps for discussing these points. If you find it all so offensive, why stay on the thread?

I do see what you’re saying. I perceive the handmaids tale comments (I made one of them!) to be around being forced to all wear the same full coverage clothing rather than having the choice to wear that or a thong bikini if you want. I generally cover up and wear a swimsuit rather than bikini, not because I consider myself to be ’too old’ or ‘too fat’ (as I hear a lot of women saying about themselves/others) but because I find it more comfortable. I agree that labelling swimsuits as ‘frumpy’ is part of the same issue as labelling thong bikinis as overly sexualised. I think women should be able to choose to wear either or a full body suit and just be left alone about it.

It is really interesting and hard to really pull apart clearly though. I tend to always wear make up when I’m going to the office, but I do question myself sometimes around why, and who I’m doing it for. I’m not going to stop doing it any time soon, and I try to have compassion for myself around the choices I make, and those other women make. That’s why OP’s original thread got my back up - there’s an important difference between questioning societal expectations and just tearing other women down.

Can you explain why men with adhd never go around in thong bikinis ? Can you explain why children and men don’t wear them if they aren’t sexual and just simply comfortable attire?

I'm quoting the op! She has just said she 'didn't want to criticise the woman' so I reminded her that she intially did just that.

Her latest more measured reflection didn't quite match the initial 'yuk' one.

Exactly. All choices are fine in a beach cafe.

I actually agree with a lot of what you’re saying, and I think the distinction is an important one. Women should absolutely be able to choose a swimsuit, a bikini, a thong bikini or full coverage without being told what that choice says about them. And I certainly don’t think wearing a more covering swimsuit is “frumpy” or that wearing a thong makes someone more liberated.
But I think somewhere in the very fast-paced discussion, my original post has become about something slightly different from what I actually posted about. I wasn’t criticising a woman for choosing a thong bikini. I was talking about someone sitting having lunch with her bottom completely uncovered, and I personally found that inappropriate for a restaurant. I’m also not trying to tear this woman down or make a judgement about her feminism, her body or her worth. I simply saw something I found pretty shocking, had an opinion about it and posted about it on Mumsnet. Nearly 1,000 responses later, it has obviously taken on a life of its own! I completely accept that other people don’t find it shocking at all. That’s absolutely fine. But I don’t think having a strong reaction to something, or expressing it, is necessarily the same thing as wanting to police other women’s choices.

Take yourself to a beach on a sunny day, many people like to sunbathe

There is a difference in heat with shorts versus bikini bottoms

It was tongue in cheek - Why are you so serious! It's a mans choice to wear whatever he wants for whatever reason he wants. Your posts have the underlying vibe that women dress for men, and IMO that's not true, as a woman in her 40's, I have never done that, I would also say, that many of my friends also haven't

Sorry but I’ve zero respect for someone who gets their private erogenous zones out in front of people at a cafe . I’ve no issue with people wearing short shorts , belly tops and whatever else or even a dowdy plastic bag . I don’t judge what people wear fashion wise but there is a limit , and my limit is that I don’t want to see anyone’s private parts looking at me in a restaurant , male or female . I would judge someone who walked into a restaurant naked and so would everyone else . A tiny string covering the anus is practically naked and we don’t approve of people walking around in the nip. It leaves zero to the imagination . Why don’t men dress like this ? Why is it always women that these things are “fashionable “ to wear ??

'I completely accept that other people don’t find it shocking at all. That’s absolutely fine'

I may not wear a skimpy bikini in a beach cafe but if I saw a woman in one with others <not you you've said> sniggering and whispering then my disgust would be aimed at those judgemental people with appalling social skills.

I loathe ridicule and belittling anyone. I find that kind of behaviour far more offensive than a thong.

Yet you seem perfectly happy to slag and belittle some of the people on this thread who have expressed their opinion .

The appalling social skills have been show by the person who thinks it’s fine to wear a string bikini in a restaurant. But lots of people have told you this already and it’s gone over your head.

Absolutely - this is 100% what interests me most (aside from courtesy, general social norms, and hygiene), although I have to apologise to OP for derailing the thread a bit thanks to my fascination with that aspect!

My original reaction was judgemental I guess. What I saw and still believe is that having your uncovered backside in full view at lunch is inappropriate for the setting. I don’t think I need to retrospectively pretend I didn’t find it horrible in order to have a more considered discussion about why I reacted that way.

'A tiny string covering the anus is practically naked'

A tiny string cover more than 'the anus' as you well know. 'Practically naked' is not naked. I've got skimpiesh shorts on am I ok because my 'erogenous' bum cheeks are covered?