Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

I have adhd - when I'm hot I want to wear as little as possible and hate the feeling of materiel on me - so to me personally, yes there is a big difference in my comfort between a thong bikini and covering up more.

No, people who wear them will call them that too. Although I've known very few people who do! Mostly of my grandparents' generation.

Anyway, you seem unwilling to engage in any wider or deeper discussion at all, just keep repeating yourself, so I'll leave it there.

I think most guys wear a fitted board short type on the beach in France too (vilbrequin was originally a French company after all). You see plenty of speedo types and as mentioned they are obligatory in some pools but not all.

I'm not sure what ADHD has to do with that, as I'm AUDHD and don't experience the desire to wear nothing but a thong in the heat. In fact, nothing is more uncomfortable than a thong imo. So I think that's just a you thing, not an ADHD thing. But fair enough, if you want to get your bum out in public then no one can stop you, can they?

I don't mind the nudists that walk on the permitted bit in Sherwood Forest. They are just walking and no offense is caused.

There’s literally a brand called budgie smuggler. It’s a very common name for them. They’re only really common on the beach for people who are genuinely swimming (eg triathletes) or men of a certain age - Tony Abbott was fond of a pair.

https://budgysmuggler.com.au/

It could be worse. We also called them dick stickers at school, shortened to “DTs”.

Edit: of course there’s a brand called dicksticker as well

https://dicksticker.com.au/

Well, I suppose if it's well known that nudists haunt that area, then people are warned ahead of time and can go elsewhere if they want to avoid it. Still, it just seems wholly unnecessary and distasteful, imo, for a man to strut about with his penis and testicles exposed.

Omg, I've never heard of 'dick stickers' but it's very apt 🤣

Really - you've never heard of neurodivergent individuals having sensory issues? which can vary person to person.

Yes, obviously - perhaps I phrased that badly, or inferred wrongly, as you didn't mention sensory issues. To rephrase: I don't think that specifically wanting to wear as little as possible in the heat is something that everyone with ADHD experiences. But as I said, if you want to get your bum out, no one can stop you.

Regardless, not everyone who wears a thong has sensory issues, and I don't hear of many ADHD men wearing thongs on the beach. It's foolish to deny the possibility that the rising trend of thong bikinis could be related to the rapidly increasing sexualisation of women in society.

I agree the discussion around societal expectations of women is important - both the ‘you must show a lot of flesh/wear make up/have lip fillers to be attractive’ and the ‘you must not act in line with any of those expectations (eg wearing a thing bikini) otherwise you’re a bad feminist/part of the problem’. However, how that discussion is framed is important. There’s a subtle but important difference between trying to dismantle these expectations as a whole, and criticising any women who act in line with them. If OP really wanted to make a difference then she could have chosen to talk to the woman directly, or probably more realistically to talk to other women in her life who are making these choices. Also putting some energy into some kind of organisation to try to change these wider expectations or increase opportunities for women. Choosing to make a mumsnet post to criticise this individual woman just sets us against each other rather than actually making anything better.

I’d totally agree in normal circumstances, but in a designated nudist area, why is it anymore distasteful for a man than a woman

There are clearly different accepted standards between men and women - some women find long flowy skirts more comfortable than trousers, but you don't see men wearing them, even though they may find them more comfortable.

I'm glad as a woman I get more options to me as to what I can wear - board shorts (I wore them when younger and my now teenage DD wears them), sarong, thongs etc, it's my choice!

You can think that, but isn’t it ok for other women to think and act differently from you?

No. Dress appropriately

Well I’m glad you don’t get to make the rules then! We’d all be living in the handmaids tale 🤣

I do!

I've blathered on about this upthread.

What interests me most here are the implications for feminism etc and I agree with previous posters who point out the disparity between what women seem to feel the pressure to wear and what men wear.

There are exceptions - I'm sure there are a few thong-clad strutters on beaches on the Med, but on the whole men wear what's comfortable and women, on the whole, feel they need to take other considerations into account.

Women can wear what they like - as long as they observe basic norms - but I still see a worrying disparity between how they choose to present themselves and how men do. I know why this is, but I won't go into it here because someone will immediately try to shut me down AGAIN!

So adhd makes you bare your bum?

The idea of deliberately tanning oneself is just bizarre to me - perhaps that's a cultural difference, as there's a big focus on not getting skin cancer where I'm from, due to high UV

Regardless, there are also women wearing thong bikinis on the beaches.

I agree with you pretty much 100%. Women can do what they like (as long as theyre not hurting others/breaking the law) but the difference in the societal expectations re. appearance for women vs men is problematic. I had an issue with OP’s post and various replies as they seem to be strongly criticising this particular woman for her choice, which I think hinders rather than helps overall.

I agree the discussion around societal expectations of women is important - both the ‘you must show a lot of flesh/wear make up/have lip fillers to be attractive’ and the ‘you must not act in line with any of those expectations (eg wearing a thing bikini) otherwise you’re a bad feminist/part of the problem’.

This is an interesting point. There are all kinds of expectations and pressures on women particularly when it comes to dress.

On this thread we've had several pps say things like 'Do you want us to dress like The Handmaid's Tale?'

I think that shows how the pressure to wear very revealing and sexy clothing works. The pressure comes not only from the male gaze but from other women - as shown on here. I've heard it myself. People have described, say, one-piece swimsuits as inherently frumpy. They're actually not - they can be amazingly stylish and flattering. But I cringe at the mindset which equates revealing as much as possible to the world as fashionable and stylish.

There's a fascinating interplay between what people perceive as freedom for women to choose how to dress and the pressures (which they're either conscious of or not) on them to dress in a particular way.

I’m the OP, so perhaps I should clarify. I didn’t make the post because I wanted to criticise this woman, police what she wears or somehow tell her what she should do. I posted because the situation made me think about where the boundaries of social expectations lie, and I was interested in other people’s views.And I’m really not sure why confronting her would have been the more appropriate or constructive thing to do. She was a complete stranger, sitting having lunch. I wasn’t going to walk over and tell her what I thought about her choice of clothing that would have been far more intrusive, in my view.
Mumsnet is literally a discussion forum. I saw something, had a reaction, questioned that reaction and started a discussion. I don’t think that makes me anti-feminist, nor does it mean I believe women should be policing each other. And actually, the discussion that followed has been much broader and more interesting than the original incident. That was the point.