Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

Bums are definitely private parts. For both men and women.

I think there’s a definite mismatch or doublethink nowadays between safeguarding in schools and increased permissiveness in the outside world. It must be incredibly confusing for youngsters.

During my time as a teacher I saw safeguarding policies become much stricter in so many ways - and rightly so. But at the same time I noticed fashion aimed at girls - of course - boys, as usual, escape the predictable sexploitation - becoming much more outrageous, for want if a better word. Outrageous in the true sense - that there was clearly meant to be a shock/ in your face element to it.

I feel sorry for teenage girls trying to navigate this contradiction. They will feel pressure from female friends and boys (for different reasons) to be extremely daring in their clothing choices at an age where they haven’t got the life experience to make informed choices. So many will already be exposed to pornography online and I suspect some girls think they have to conform to the looks they see there.

Its a weird, frightening and confusing world we’ve created for them.

A naked bum yes. This was not naked.

Regardless of previous ott descriptions the 'anus' was not visible nor were genitals. It's like saying a chest is a private part. If a bikini top is being worn then the 'private areas' are covered.

'Its a weird, frightening and confusing world we’ve created for them'

Yep with adults starting discussions about them and other customers allegedly laughing at them. Awful.

Butt cheeks are private parts and an erogenous zone . Would you approve of young children wearing such “fashion”. I highly doubt it

was the OP supposed to police other people's conversations about an unwelcome naked pair of buttocks in a cafe/restaurant?

Well it very much depends on the setting of course. And yes, I am of course aware that men naturally tend to be more predatory than women. But if you happened to come across a man skinny dipping for example in a river or lake, or swimming at the beach, would you feel differently about him if he was wearing swimming shorts or not? Personally I don’t think it would make much difference to me.

What do you mean ? It would make a huge difference to me seeing a man in swim shorts swimming , vs a man in a mankini or naked . Mankini or naked I would immediately be a bit freaked out . A man swimming in a swimsuit is quite an innocent and common sight.

Solid posting every hour from 9am until 5pm,

I take it this holiday is sun lounger based and you don’t have a decent book on the go ?@flipperfizz and don’t enjoy talking to your husband

I dont want strangers bare arse cheeks out in shops ,near food etc. On the beach is fine. Not on the beach its gross. We aren't chimpanzees are we. If you want to show your arse off thats up to you but expect me to think you're extremely gross ,unhygienic and foul😉

That's not power, though.

Her choice? Yes, but it's not made in a vacuum, it's made within the context of a patriarchal society where women are frequently seen as sexual objects. What influences her choice?

'Bitch'? And its silly to tell people they should walk around with their eyes glued to the ground if they dislike having an adult or teenager's naked bum in their line of sight, as though it's somehow unreasonable to not want to see naked bottoms.

@flipperfizz
So I’m not judging women wearing them. I just don’t particularly buy the idea that the garment itself is somehow inherently “powerful” or feminist

When I put one on, whether it is powerful or feminist never crosses my mind. It’s beachwear. That is all.

The cafe is on the beach
the OP’s chair was on sand
her feet will be on sand
meters from sunbathers

Yes, I would be more concerned if he's in a publicly used area, as if he's willing to break the social contract by exposing his genitals, and he's not thinking about the comfort of the people who might encounter him, then he's instantly more intimidating and concerning as a risk. I also just find it triggering.

And why would you need a sun tan unless you were planning to have it out on show?

I don't have kids, but if I did then yes I would make them aware of that. I wouldn't bring up kids to think that everything they do is beyond reproach.

Yes, I can't help but think that if someone's 13-year-old daughter wanted to wear a thong bikini instead of a normal bikini, it would (should!) be considered deeply inappropriate by practically all pp... Even though they've said that bums aren't private parts, it's not sexual, perhaps people simply want to tan, and others should just look away. It's almost as though those arguments are disingenuous.

Why not? I like to have a uniform colour all over, regardless of who is seeing it. Is that a problem?

“Social contract”? What is that exactly? There is no law against simple nudity in public, providing there is no deliberate attempt to cause alarm, harassment or distress to others.

You would be happy with them laughing at this woman? Judging her freely?

I don’t think anyone mentioned mankini did they? So I’m not sure where that came from? But skinny dipping vs swimming in shorts is much the same thing IMHO. If I was out walking somewhere off the beaten track with DP and there was a chance of a dip somewhere in this temperature I wouldn’t think twice about stripping off and plunging in.

Simple common courtesy, and being considerate of others as you move through the world.

And that 'no deliberate attempt' wording is so weaselly - a man knows that outside of certain spaces and situations (such as a nude beach) exposing his penis is very likely to cause alarm or distress to a significant percentage of people (women), given the threat that men pose to women and how many women have been sexually victimised by men, especially if he encounters them alone in the woods (for instance). So to do it anyway means he is in fact deliberately choosing to cause alarm or distress, all just so that he can (for some reason) expose his penis and testicles.

Common courtesy would have been to not laugh at the woman

@OtterlyAstounding

Yes - female nudity in itself is not scary but a nude man where you aren’t expecting to see one is VERY much so.

Male nudity has often been used to intimidate women - park perverts etc - whereas I can’t think of any case where female nudity has caused the same level of alarm.

OP didn't laugh at the woman? I don't know that many people have said it's courteous to laugh at her. Although I suppose one could argue that her discourtesy prompted the discourtesy of those who laughed.
But I'm not trying to defend people laughing - they shouldn't have done so, or at the very least, not within the woman's notice - so I'm not sure of your point?