Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

Right, so you're in favour of nudity at work, at home, on the tube, etc?

Its not about offence. Personally, to answer you in good faith, I'm used to a society in which the sexes are not naked in front of each other, or generally in public settings (minus a narrow set of exceptions; breastfeeding, men's chests at the beach, single sex spaces) outside of sexual situations. It makes seeing genitals, bottoms, and breasts in other, non-sexual, public situations, both startling and unsettling.

I do find naked men deeply intimidating too, so for that reason alone I'm not in favour of nudity. Hygiene is also an issue.

And I believe in the heat, you don't actually want to expose your skin to the sun – loose, thin coverings are better, I think?

Ok calm down. You’re entitled to see it that way, but you’re making incorrect assumptions about my motives. I would never mock another woman. I can question and be curious about their fashion choices and I do stand by the etiquette that one should cover up one’s backside when eating.

Yes - what infection are you referring to?

Just out of interest, how would you describe or categorise the act of a woman (apparently) performatively jiggling her naked bottom in public, while a tampon string is hanging out in full view?

Ok; so let’s narrow it down a bit, what do you find “deeply intimidating” about simple non-sexual nudity?

But you’re being disingenuous. Musing about someone’s ’fashion choice’ might involve ‘Oh, good — boat necks are back’ or ‘Midi skirts make me look like a Womble’. This woman has chosen not to wear a cover-up to lunch a beach restaurant. That’s not a fashion decision.

I don’t think that’s disingenuous at all. Of course it was about more than the cut of a garment it was about what I consider appropriate to wear to lunch in a restaurant. That’s precisely why I found it interesting enough to ask what other people thought. I’m allowed to have an opinion about that without it being a personal attack on the woman wearing it.

Worse, they pull the whole arse piece right up the crack! Honestly it looks so uncomfortable 😂😳

The sensible response to this question which has been addressed to the point of exhaustion on this thread is...please read the thread.

But I'll bite.

The human anus (ooh, sorry Gloriia - should I say 'bum hole'?), however carefully cleaned and however scrupulous the individual about personal hygiene, is going to have bacteria around it, as with all animals. It's a fact. It's not a shameful fact - it's biological reality. Even cats, which lick their bottoms clean, will not eliminate all the bacteria there.

I have described above how this can be a problem when an essentially bare backside is placed on a seat. My only wish, in all this, is that people put on a sarong, kaftan, dress, shorts or similar before going to a restaurant for lunch.

I know OP mentioned that some people there (not her, but she's been piled on for it) were staring and even laughing. I'd guess that this might have more to do with the expectations of a little formality and courtesy while dining in France rather than prudery or ogling.

I really, really can't explain it any more. I've tried and tried on this thread....and then a newbie comes along and asks for another explanation. Just as well I'm a bloody fast typist!

I now await the Johnny/Joanna come lately saying 'It's a beach - you have to expect bare flesh!'

And round we go again.

But the dress code is a matter for the restaurant. If the restaurant thought it was inappropriate they would either not have admitted her or asked her to wear a cover-up. It’s not a fashion decision. It’s a matter of different ideas about what types of dress/undress are appropriate for a beach restaurant.

You are missing the nuance in communication -

what I suggested was a supportive chat, that undermines the staring mocking people,

not your reading of this that says you think I suggested you should comment on what she is not wearing !!!!

maybe that inability to read the finer details is why this thread has blown up -
you don’t see your contribution / collusion to the staring and laughing -

by not calling it out
by bringing it here as a light banter
when there is a real person - a young woman -
getting mocked / judged for her beachwear -
not OK !

You're seriously asking a woman why she might find a man, who is a stranger and an unknown quantity, deeply intimidating when fully naked and exposed? Really? You can't figure that out?

How do these people manage to use a toilet !!

I understand what you were suggesting, but I think you’re attributing responsibility to me for other people’s behaviour. I didn’t stare at or mock the woman, nor did I encourage anyone else to. I simply found the outfit inappropriate for the setting and started a discussion about it. Finding something inappropriate and mocking the person wearing it are not the same thing.

These people think like this, I expect:

I wash my hands thoroughly after visiting the lav. No-one else is exposed to my bottom!

When I had my first baby I was surprised to find I could deal with the nappies. I expected to find it difficult.

However - when I had to babysit a friend's 1 year old and change a nappy I did retch and was sick. I'm sorry - it's not a boast, but it was a totally different situation - illogical, but life is illogical. I admire medics/nurses/care workers etc hugely for dealing with what they have to deal with.

Revulsion at human excrement is a perfectly normal self-protective response.

Now - please don't say 'Ooh, she's on about poo again!'

You did ask, so I have answered as well as I can.

I live in a coastal town in the UK. Thong/Brazilian bikini bottoms everywhere. They seem to have been in fashion for a while now. One young relative told me that bums are no longer considered private parts. If this was the case, why don’t we put children in them? Very confusing for little children who have grown up with Pantasaurus (cartoon character who tells children that anything covered by pants is private). Not sure how you would explain that to
them! Same young relative (female), who wears a thong bikini, and feels empowered doing so, was outraged that an older man was staring at her bum when she was queuing for an icecream. Wrong
to stare at anyone imo, but surely not surprising. The beach in 2026 must be a wonderful place for a certain type of man.