I hate being called lovely

[amapoftheisland]

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

I don’t mind terms of endearment like darling or sweetheart because they’re nouns, used to address someone. What bothers me about “Hello, lovely” is that lovely is an adjective - it describes something or someone: a lovely person, a lovely day, a lovely dress. Using it as though it were a noun feels grammatically off to me, like a describing word has been turned into a pet name. I know that usage has become common, but my brain still hears “lovely” as a description rather than a form of address, and it drives me nuts too OP!

I also hate bless with a passion.

But they’re kids. That’s totally different!

You see, I wouldn’t mind hearing it in Cornwall where it’s a regional thing. As I said, I liked the Somerset bus drivers calling me ‘me luver’ (after getting over the initial surprise), but where I live it’s not regional, it’s an annoying affectation with staff v likely told by the salon owner to use it on customers.
And as a fake affectation, I just find it… irritating. Call me grumpy. I don’t mind.

My thoughts too, anyone who doesn’t know what an SR1 form is needs to google and think twice about laying into the OP who is entitled to rant especially given the circumstances. Sorry for what you’re going through OP. 😢

I used to teach a Thai girl. She had a job in a nursing home. We were talking about her work and she said one of the residents she called me cock! She was a bit affronted and I tried to explain It was a term of endearment. She didn't really look like she believed me .

Those giving it the oh haven't you got anything more important to worry about and I admire the headspace you're giving it -how patronising. You never get irritated by things that aren't that big as a scheme of things? I'm a multitasker and can be pissed off with more than one thing at the same time - something big and something small.

Haha same!! Hubby is so so cringe.

Me too.
In fact “lovely” used in that context is a deep hatred of mine for very specific personal reasons.

Of course I don’t expect anybody to be aware of that.

In general though I don’t mind common endearments from older people (80+) in informal situations eg neighbours, a fellow shopper, etc because this generation has grown up with such terms as a friendly action and I would not want or expect to police their language. I see it as quite nice.

However, I do complain if I get it from younger people in professional roles because it is then unprofessional, inappropriate and feels patronising.

I guess it’s short for “my lovely “

Eh oop me dook.

I think it depends on who is doing it and when. If it's a regional term, used by and to everyone, then it's fine. If it's used purely towards older people, it's condescending and inappropriate.
I must admit, I use it all the time to the kids I work with at school - it's meant affectionately. They don't seem to mind.

Ive lived in the East Midlands for over 30 years and Me Duck has always given me the ick. I do however use Lovely. I think what this thread shows is that everyone has different terms that they use, hate, like, accept and therefore none of them are worth getting wound up about!!

I love petal and sweetpea. My dad uses both.

I live in Somerset, it's very much a regional phrase here. I'm from London originally, our equivalent is 'mate!'

I certainly wouldn't get upset about it.

‘Twas very bad timing that reply as I’d literally just emailed about it and then read ‘have you nothing better to worry about’ ofc the poster couldn’t have known but still, there’s just no need to be so rude and confrontational on here a lot of the time.

I’m not especially wound up about it; if you don’t like green beans you aren’t wound up about them, just don’t eat them, which admittedly doesn’t exactly work as an analogy but I do tend to find lovely grates a bit.

I know exactly what an SR1 is and much of what you are going through as I have been/am still there. You didn't mention it in your OP.

I'm sorry you are in that position but the context was important and then some of these responses would have been very much toned down. Including mine.

I was filling in just such forms for my DH back in January this year. He was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease last summer and had already lost motor control in his arms and hands so could no longer write. The disease advanced viciously and he died in early March this year, barely 9 months after diagnosis. It was devastating, sitting overnight in the hospital with him as he died. He was just 62. We are still dealing with stuff from that and probate is dragging on too.

Then, just three months to the day after that my almost 91 year old mother died of a hospital acquired infection, so we sat with her overnight in a different hospital while she died. So dealing with that now too, plus there will be an inquest as well as probate.

You are right, of course, that nobody knows what is going on in anyone else's life. Context is everything and we all need to remember it, not leaving key elements out and then lashing out when they didn't know.

I'm sorry that you are going through such a bad time. We have been too this year, and it isn't really over yet. In fact, 2026 can get in the bin as far as I am concerned, with the hope that surely 2027 can only be an improvement. No guarantee of that though, I guess.

Sorry to hear you’ve been / are there too @Topseyt123 . Sucks

And there’s no context, even in the peak of health I don’t like ‘lovely’ - just unfortunate timing with that email and your reply!

Well, you sound moany and easily irritated, so I doubt being called lovely is much of a problem for you tbh.

Oh well, at least there are nice people like you around

I do get that some might find it irritating. It's not a term I ever actually use.

With all else that has been/is still going on around me though, I don't think I even notice much what people are calling me as long as they are not rude, and so far none have been.

Best duck one I've ever heard, was my friends Dad was in the local butchers and an old lady had held the door open for him, he's then said "ta, duck" she then turned and said "it's Mrs Duck to you". Always made me chuckle.

Here in Bristol using 'lovely' is just a local term usually used in shops etc. It's not insincere it's just a nice way to speak to people. Bit like up north folks may say 'duck' or 'lass'. I think you may be overthinking it.

Are you in the south east by any chance?