I hate being called lovely

[amapoftheisland]

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

I'm in Dublin and there is a new lady working in our local chemist who is about 25yrs younger then me who calls me "chicken, lovey, pet, doll and my all time favorite petal"
Does my head in I'm 49 and she is early 20's

I've started using golly and gosh just to swear a bit less (feel free to suggest alternatives!). And don't forget all the annoying company jargon/buzzwords!

In the end, it really is a "you" problem if you're offended by someone who is being sincere. Same with a lot of things that could be said...

I work with a woman who calls everyone cockle or winkle.
Very odd

It falls into the same bracket as people who love "to bits", "to the moon and back" or - the worst - "the very bones" of someone 😱

Taking offense at some innocuous word or phrase is very mumsnet but Im not sure it can be classed as reasonable. But if tilting at windmills floats your boat then tilt away.

As for being insincere, well yes. Im sure the term is applied whether people find you lovely or not. In other news no one thinks you are a duck, and random strangers dont care how you are.

I'm sure she's a lovely person, inside and out...🙄

I've sucked up being called lovely, pretty lady, and sweety, by a near (same sex) neighbour but the message calling me sweet plums made me want to resort to violence and/or throw up.
I'm in S Yorkshire and am now used to men and women being called love, duck, etc. but, seriously, sweet plums ? 🤮

I think that's very shellfish of her... (I'll get my coat)

I like it, I think it’s sweet.

I'm fine with all terms of endearment apart from lovely. It's a new one that everyone has started using and I have a visceral reaction to it. It's not a choice to get wound up by it, it's an instantaneous reaction that I can't control. YANBU

I hate it. I work in a school and it has become commonplace for teachers / office staff etc. to call all the children lovely eg. Hi Lovely . . .You alright Lovely? Do you need help lovely. I think because it's being used everywhere - it comes across as insincere and a bit 'copycat'. Having said that when I was young I worked as a saturday girl in a large department store and the manager referred to every girl as 'Flossie' ie. Morning Flossie, or 'Flossie - could you just . . . ' I thought that was very insulting - could not be bothered to learn names!

And when did it start being the adjective ‘lovely’ it used to be ‘lovey’ which is not nearly as smarmy and annoying.

I'm not overly keen. I've only come across it in the NHS, as a patient, in the last few years.

I'm not going to react but I do inwardly wince a little.

Is it perhaps a gender neutral catch all. A word that has caught on because it's less likely to get you in the shit if you are uncertain of a person's gender identity.
I'm not getting in to all that and not expressing an opinion one way or the other but I suppose it's better than sir or madam etc. when those might land you with a warning, or worse, if you get it wrong.

It is absolutely your perogative for it to give you the rage, no matter what, though. We all have words and such that act like personal rage bait, even if the writer or utterer has no intent to make our brain go boom.

For me, it's yum, yummy, yummers, picky bits and the oh so arrogant exclamation mark (particularly in product reviews). The words, "mmmm, picky bits. Yum!!!", is enough to make me want to commit a vicious crime.

I agree, this makes me cringe, especially with endearments starting with'Oh'. 'Oh sweetheart'. Yuck.

I really can’t get excited about this. Terms of endearment don’t bother me at all.

The only one I really hate is “team” in a work setting (as in “Team: what do we think?”. It makes my teeth itch. Can’t really explain why but it’s so eager and ingratiating and insincere.

As a PP said, everyone has their foibles.

Buy maybe they are being sarcastic and saying it because they don’t think you’re at all lovely.

I've never come across anyone being called Lovely (as opposed to being described as lovely). It must be a regional thing. I don't know how I would react. It sounds very strange to me.

I do come across strangers using terms of endearment like "darlin", "sweetie", or "honey" - usually wait staff in cafes or restaurants. I wouldn't personally refer to someone I didn't know that way (I prefer to use Sir or Ma'am), but it doesn't particularly bother me to be on the receiving end.

Lol one of my colleague called everyone darling, love or lovely because she can remember their name😂 don't blame her the place is huge and there is a lot of us.

Someone I have recently begun working alongside uses sweetie all the time. I hate it.

My colleague calls everyone 'lollipop' for the same reason.

Even the CEO has to smile 😂

She probably thinks you're 109. She will learn when she hits 40 herself.

The way to find peace is knowing what to ignore

Oh dear I sometimes call my children and grandchildren lovely. They have never objected!

I must have absorbed ‘Sweetie’ from AbFab Patsy, yonks ago. It can burst out in the most unexpected circs, with a will of its own. I really try to stamp it out, but it can be totally reflexive every now and then.
As I live in Ireland now, this clearly English affectation must make ears bleed. It escaped my half-awake lips one morning in a serious staff meeting, and my director was greatly surprised to be addressed like this. Amused though, thank gawd.

I moved to my current area about 10 years ago and was baffled to learn that the local term of endearment around here is "Sug" (pronounced shug) presumably short for sugar - I've never asked.

I was a bit surprised when I moved to Derbyshire in 2008 to be called "Duck" and I still think it sounds silly, but "Sug" takes the cake.

I've never heard anyone called "Lovely" only "Love" which was common where I grew up.