I hate being called lovely

[amapoftheisland]

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

You don't get as many 'queens' as what you used to in Liverpool. I quite liked being 'queen'. A woman answered her phone in a shop I was in recently and said 'Hiya queen' and I just thought, oh how nice.

"You poor thing" has to be the worst term used on MN!

I like it and occasionally use it and think it’s fine. Are you just in a bad mood? What makes you think your friend is being insincere? What was the favour?

It depends who's saying it, really. I had a friend at school who called everyone "sweetie", and it just matched her personality completely, and sounded so natural coming from her - no matter who she was talking to. My next door neighbour calls everyone "darling". My granny calls me "precious".

I tend to call people "lovely", so you would hate me. But I wouldn't do it on here, only people I actually know.

It's a term of endearment, a positive thing to say, and usually doesn't particularly mean very much.

I've been called all sorts of things like lovely, darling, dear etc by shop assistants, waiters/waitresses, delivery people.. it's better than them saying "oi, bitch" isn't it? And most of them won't know your name, so this is the next best thing.

The only word that I really do not like is someone calling me hun.

I heard this when I was in hospital, in a very vulnerable state. It warmed my heart.
But I guess it's one of those "and I have a bargain just for you" terms 😂

Lots of people say it here along with 'duck' and 'love'. I don't say it myself as I didn't grow up here and it's not my manner of speech but I don't have a problem with it.

YANBU. I belong to a group on FB and ALL the admins call EVERYONE lovely. So annoying, and like you say insincere. It just makes me cringe. How do you know I'm lovely? (I'm not!)

I also don't like being called lovely as there's defo an air of minimising your abilities or somehow subtly putting you down. Not from everyone, just some people use it strategically to make you feel less than.

I absolutely HATE it especially (as I always tell people)- I’m not lovely, I’m a complete bitch so don’t call me lovely when you know nothing about me!!!
urgh- really gets on my tits!!
I don’t mind duck, sweetie etc so much- I think it’s because “lovely” is a descriptor and because it is often used without knowing the person it is insincere. Whereas something like duck is fine as obviously I’m not a duck, it’s just being used as a pet name.

I feel the same way. I endure it from my hairstylists where everyone says ‘lovely’ every second damn word. Hello my lovely, there you go my lovely, toilet is down the hall my lovely. There is no need to say it at all. It’s patronising but in a mindless sort of way so of course I’d never say anything.

However, being called ‘hun’ absolutely grates on my nerves from a particular family member. It’s definitely used passively aggressively/ patronising/ insulting manner from them (you okay hun) but there’s nothing to be gained from confrontation.

But I absolutely get where you’re going from, first world problem or not.

Edited to add that I wouldn’t mind duck or love and when I lived in Somerset I didn’t mind bus drivers calling me ‘me luver’! But ‘lovely’ and ‘hun’ really grate.

Not to everyone. Most folk can take it in context. Such as say someone's been let down yet again by their useless fella, to read 'Oh hunny, what a prize twit he is' doesn't at all sound patronising to me.

Perhaps am more of a half full kinda girl though.

The one I hate seeing - never say it myself, is ‘hun’.

Don't go to Cornwall then my lovely! Said all the time there, I often heard 'hello luver' too when used to parents.

Duck I heard much more living in Yorkshire and when dated someone from Cumbria. Not so much down south.

Don't go to Cornwall then my lovely! Said all the time there, I often heard 'hello luver' too when used to parents

Also ‘Maid’ and ’me ‘ansom’ for men, although they seem to be dying out

My friend objects to people saying 'Morning' on an email or WhatsApp, rather than Good Morning. She feels it's impolite verging on rude. I think: Get a life!

Splann, my lover. We're clearly far too friendly down here...

See, I love "duck" or "me duck". It reminds me of my Midlands aunties and uncles. It sounds very natural and friendly.

And "pard"!

I can't stand hun either.

Lovey, darling, sweetie, hun (that one I particularly hate)… annoying yes. Not enough to moan about though.

Awww I like it.
im in Devon and it took a while to get used to ‘my lover’ ‘lovely’ and ‘my darlin’ from everyone.
its very warm and friendly.

I use it at work (customer facing role) but not really anywhere else. It’s not meant in a patronising way it’s meant to be friendly.

Just the way some people talk. Harmless.

It doesn't remotely bother me in person but I HATE it via text or on screens. I think because you can't hear the tone so it always reads as patronising.