I hate being called lovely

[amapoftheisland]

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

After a rant to a good friend about being called darling etc She now calls me sugar tit's lol 😆 ( We have that type of friendship and I fake being outraged etc) So be careful who you rant to !

I don't mind people calling me 'lovely' at all. Up to you @amapoftheisland if you want to hate it and get angry with people who disagree with you.

Personally I think you need a

Come live in Cornwall where people call you “me Lover” as someone said up thread it’s a regional thing I think

I'm also in my 70s and haven't noted any increase in this kind of thing as I've become older. It's just the way people interact round here. When I was in Bristol in the 1970s I was called 'my lover' by random people, in London it was 'love'. It has always been like this.

Agree. It’s SO patronising !

I only use terms of endearment towards my friends, but I don’t mind them said to me. I work at a very corporate office and got in a man’s way today. He very gallantly said ‘I’m so sorry darling, do excuse me’. People rarely speak like this in my working environment, and I actually thought it was quite sweet.

Id take it over being called a dick but even that wouldn't bother me much.

I wish I had the emotional head space to get worked up over stuff such as this.

Maybe one day my life will even out and I will find the emotional energy to get offended and upset over stuff like this.

‘You’re a star’ grinds my gears beyond belief. Like I’m supposed to beam like a little child getting a star for her star chart, excited to have some praise. Rather than a PA who is just doing her job, well aware I am not doing anything startlingly brilliant or difficult.

Hate it, I have a name.

It’s insincere and patronising if the person calling you love/darling/pet is younger than you. I’m Northern and I would call someone love only if they were young enough to be my DC (or GDC). If they’re my age range, I call them by their name, if significantly older, it’s Sir or Madam

'ol' mateyo' usually when referencing someone whose name you can't remember. I still use that one, even though I no longer live in the SW and haven't for some years.

Get my daps, would 'ee, maid. Ol' mateyo said I needed them...

Chuck duck cock cocker luvvie sweetheart its all part of the rich tapestry of our isle.
Can't believe people get offended. Its just regional mannerisms, not a marriage proposal 😂🤣

It may be insincere but honestly, there are more important things to fret over surely?

I envy your capacity and headspace to post this, after thinking about it so hard.

I'm a teacher and call all of my students 'lovely' e.g. 'Hello, lovely! How are you?'

It's such a part of my vocabulary that I often find myself saying it to adults, try to stop myself halfway through and find that I've called them 'love' instead...which feels even worse! 🙈

After you’re about 10, it’s a sure sign of being old when you’re called “young lady”. And as for frail elderly men in wheelchairs being addressed as “young man”…. It’s meant to be kind but it’s massively drawing attention to age

I use lovely or love regularly. You'd absolutely hate me 🤣🤣🤣

I grew up in south London, well it wasn’t part of London in those days. A very dear elderly lady used to call me ducky, when I was about 6, and I remember her with great affection. I watched a play once, perhaps by Galsworthy*, where the daughter addresses her father as ducky.

So much depends on context. If it’s sort of offhand by a market trader or in a café then I like it, it’s when it’s almost considered and making a point that I don’t.

A good friend keeps calling me Lovely, especially in phone or WhatsApp messages. She never used to but she means well and, unusually for me, I keep quiet.

*thanks to Google I’ve identified this as Galsworthy’s play Strife, where the daughter cloyingly calls her father Dodo and twice addresses him as “ducky”. Apparently written in 1907.

I say lovely and the like , because I’m feeling stressed all the time and often can’t remembers people name (I know their name there is just a delay for it coming out 😂) Also because I know my tone can be a bit short when I’m tired and stressed - so lovely or bitch. You choose. 😂

I love a “darling” - really can’t see why it’s annoying.

🤣🤣🤣

Darling, lovely, sweetheart, seeetpea, darl, chick, angel, bubs, babe, babs, chiqua, cock, bro, mate, guv, my friend…. Love it 😊

I loved being called Duck in Yorkshire, I love ducks.

OMG it really boils my blood when someone calls someone who is clearly quite/very old 'YOUNG LADY' or 'YOUNG MAN.' Now THAT is patronising. They think they're being funny or complimenting them, in reality, it's just cringe-worthy and condescending. I will be giving such a filthy look to the first person who ever says that to me!

See also 'awww bless....' always said to older people by someone 15-20 years or more younger.

I hate all of that type of nick names. The one I hate the most is Hun 😡🤬