Feeling very sorry for myself after being cancelled on

[Su1345]

I’m late 30s, single parent to one dd age 4. I started talking with someone I knew from university, a few months ago. Long story short, we were due to meet today at 11am for a coffee and brunch and he messaged at 10:24 to say he couldn’t make it as he slept outside last night after a party.

Im not so much emotionally hurt as I am just feeling a bit of, i don’t know, sadness? My lovely little girl is with her dad today and he took her out early so I could have time to get ready. It wasn’t an official date but obviously having not met a man one to one like this for years I was reasonably nervous and I took my time getting ready and choosing what to wear. We’ve also had lots of flirty messages and so on. I was on the way when I got the message.

More than anything I just feel a bit shit about the fact I’m almost 40, single and all dressed up with literally no place to go. So I’m sitting in the car for a moment where I’ve pulled over to write this. I can’t work out my feelings, just feel mostly really stupid and my child free time is so precious and I’ve let him his man do this to me.

Please don't meet him if he asks again.

He knows what he is doing at this age.

You deserve better. Go and have a day out by yourself you deserve it at the very least!

Don't feel silly.

Noone would think they'd get cancelled on for the ridiculous reason a grown man slept outside after drinking too much.

He's a dickhead.

That’s rubbish, a really poor show on his part.

I hope you are doing OK, and please take some time to do something you enjoy today, be extra kind to yourself.

Definitely his loss 💐

He is a dead loss. I hope you block him.

At least you have enjoyed getting ready and now you must look your best. Treat yourself to lunch and a good book, you never know what’s around the corner - in a good way!
What you shouldn’t do is go home with your tail between your legs.
I hope you have a great day after all !

Agree! You have definitely dodged a bullet.

Have you been on the apps OP? Would widen the field for you, if you want to meet someone. I know people have horror stories but I've had a positive experience and it's just the way people meet each other these days (mostly).

Don’t feel silly or embarrassed. It’s genuinely his loss! The fact you were up for meeting up is a nice sign that you might feel ready to date again. I bet you look lovely! . Don’t feel bad. Onwards and upwards!

Don’t do this. It’s tragic.

Your daughter will never have to meet this pathetic man, who doesn't know how old he is. That's a good thing.

As PP have suggested. Go to the cafe with a good book.

I can’t get my head around giving this as an excuse - I’d come up with any other reason rather than admit I was so pissed I slept outside.

Whether it’s a lie or the truth, it does nothing but confirm he’s a total bellend.

He obviously couldn't be arsed and hadn't put as much interest in this upcoming 'date' as you did. You dodged a bullet from an insensitive arsehole.

Bang on.

If you’re looking for someone to date, then a person who randomly stays out all night and cancels on you due to this - isn’t relationship material.

Don't do this OP.

You hold your head up high and just replan your day.

He missed out on a good thing, and doesn't get that chance again.

Also please block him as he is going to be full of excuses.

Its not. Its sarcasm and making the point that them not showing up isn't going to stop you having a nice time.

I know it can feel intimidating when you spend so much of your time caring for someone else but don’t sit at home and stew. It’s a beautiful day, go do something you enjoy - go get a nice coffee somewhere and go for a walk, go to a local museum, go to the cinema - do just about anything for you that you’d enjoy.

It’s not embarrassing to look forward to something or to feel let down. It is embarrassing to get drunk and let someone down though. I’d block him he’s shown you he has little regard that’s all you need to know.

Nah, it's tragic

You’ve had a lucky escape.
least you know not to waste any more of your time on him!

No. Just no.

It really is.

He's 39 and slept outside after a party? Bullet dodged!

god do not reply - pls block. Slept outside is either a drunken twat or he slept with someone else last night. Either way - thank god you did not meet. And pls do not emotionally invest with anyone to this level every again before even a half coffee date.

Don’t be embarrassed, it’s totally normal to get excited. You’ve just been unlucky that he’s not a good catch.

If you’ve been let down by lots of men, have a think about what makes a good catch, and what are red flags - and try to avoid the red flags even when other aspects seem good.

If you’re honest with yourself, in hindsight were there any red flags about this guy?

Is there nothing you can do with the free time?

I’m sorry, it’s horrible being cancelled on. I’m a teacher on school holidays and had separate meet ups planned with 3 different friends last week, all 3 cancelled for various reasons. I’m single and live alone and it does get lonely not having any face-to-face contact with another adult for days on end, especially at this time of year when social media is full of couples, families and friends on holiday and having fun. I hope you’re able to still do something nice and treat yourself somehow today.