Feeling very sorry for myself after being cancelled on

[Su1345]

I’m late 30s, single parent to one dd age 4. I started talking with someone I knew from university, a few months ago. Long story short, we were due to meet today at 11am for a coffee and brunch and he messaged at 10:24 to say he couldn’t make it as he slept outside last night after a party.

Im not so much emotionally hurt as I am just feeling a bit of, i don’t know, sadness? My lovely little girl is with her dad today and he took her out early so I could have time to get ready. It wasn’t an official date but obviously having not met a man one to one like this for years I was reasonably nervous and I took my time getting ready and choosing what to wear. We’ve also had lots of flirty messages and so on. I was on the way when I got the message.

More than anything I just feel a bit shit about the fact I’m almost 40, single and all dressed up with literally no place to go. So I’m sitting in the car for a moment where I’ve pulled over to write this. I can’t work out my feelings, just feel mostly really stupid and my child free time is so precious and I’ve let him his man do this to me.

I’m late 30s, single parent to one dd age 4. I started talking with someone I knew from university, a few months ago. Long story short, we were due to meet today at 11am for a coffee and brunch and he messaged at 10:24 to say he couldn’t make it as he slept outside last night after a party

The trash took itself out.
Be glad. You found out what he's like.
You might have been sat in a car, dressed up with nowhere to go but he was fucking lying around outside after a party, at 39 years old. Absolutely pathetic.
You do not need a loser like that in your life.
He wasn't even the least bit embarrassed about it because he didn't even make up an excuse.

Slept rough? He got so drunk he slept rough?

Wear that outfit to celebrate the car crash you just avoided

I voted YABU because I get the feeling that you assume being single at 40 is a negative. It isn't💥, go and celebrate YOU

I hope you still went out on your own and had a lovely lunch xx

Hope you had a great day in the end op.💐

I am going to go against the grain here and say if you like him, give him another chance. I met my husband 20 years ago at a nightclub, we were due to meet the next weekend and like you, I had got ready and was preparing to leave when he cancelled due to being hungover. I was annoyed but decided I’d dodged a bullet. He got back in touch to rearrange and after me saying no a few times, I eventually gave in. We’ve now been married 16 years and have a great life. He is a wonderful husband and father and I’m so glad I gave him a second chance!

Pulling out of a fully paid holiday just a few days before departure is extremely inconsiderate to the person who funded it.

Has a life that has nothing to do with you, no matter how desperate you are to avoid whatever is lacking in yours by judging others.

Lucky escape, what a loser sleeping outside drunk at his big age?? Instant ick, he can stay in the bin where he belongs. You on the other hand, will be fine.

As previous posters have said, sorry this happened to you, but he's done you a massive favour. You really don't want someone like that in your life... especially around a young child. You're still young, even if it doesn't feel like it. Hold your head up and have a bit of confidence in yourself. The right person will come along.

@Su1345oh babe, seems like you dodged a bullet and he seems like a bit of a loser doesn't he? You have grown up and he is still Boy Interrupted 😞
It's never a good idea to go back anyway x

Surely if you had a date the next day you wouldn't be getting that drunk? He's probably done you a favour. There are good ones out there He's just not one of them

What on earth are you talking about?!
I hope you got some sleep because you sound a bit cranky!

🤣what on earth are you talking about? Did you drink too much and sleep outside last night? Has this touched a raw nerve?🤣

Did he ever respond to your I was on my way message?

Don't respond to his message and block him.

What a waste of your time and so rude. Don’t bother responding to him when he messages you. What does he mean he slept outside? How bizarre. If he’s presumably getting so out of it that he slept outside, he doesn’t sound like much of a catch. That’s teenage behaviour.

And he is apparently sleeping outside (or thinks he can do better?). Don't respond to him if he txts/calls. He has already wasted your time. That will be his default mode. You made an effort, he made zero effort.

Hahahaha!!!! 😂

I have personally known men who having become estranged from their wives or long term partners in their late thirties and forties, have gone on benders as described here by the OP: waking up in ditches, bouncing from one woman to another, being so inebriated that they’ve been robbed or attacked or just proudly wallowing in their feckless freedom. It’s sad that an old university chum turned out to be such a dick and I can well imagine the annoyance felt by the OP who would have been looking forward to seeing this man again because of the shared past. I’m sorry this happened to you @Su1345 .

Goodness some of these replies are not it. I’m sorry this happened and you’re so so allowed to feel this way and also allowed to come here and have a vent to us all. Just glad you had a nice time getting an iced latte and enjoying your own company. Lots of love

💯 % agree, let him know exactly what a massive disappointment he is then block his pathetic little arse.

I wish I could give you a hug ,do something you want ,this is t a reflection of you ,things like this happen to us all,there a worse things than being single ,being with the wrong person etc .Hope you get through this without harm xxx

Late to the (non) party but I would have felt just as silly and disappointed as you did and hope all the messages of support lifted your spirits. First post nailed it, you dodged a bullet! Nothing wrong with wanting a partner, maybe this will motivate you to get out there and start dating, with zero expectations!

No he never responded to my message saying I was on the way but I noted he couldn’t make it.

We were talking almost every day prior to this!