AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

Are you a bus driver by any chance? So if you choose a job where you have to have a wee at a depot it gives you licence to be rude and aggressive to people? Get a grip!

Grow up, you sound like that Catherine Tate character who fainted when she went outside Islington.I’d love to hear the bus driver’s side of this, since this seems a massive overreaction to you and little Lord Fauntleroy getting on a bus.

Yeah,well London. Like another world love.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat

Sorry, but if I'm reading this right, how was he supposed to know they were with you if you didn't say anything and just got on and paid for your ticket and they just followed behind?
Although after saying that the driver sounds like a rude dickhead and there's no need for all his mouth.
(I'm a mum to teenagers who regularly gets buses with them and has done for years)

I don’t think the bus company will do anything if I am being honest. I had it recently outside London where there was a cancelled bus and I’d been waiting about 30 minutes, and at the last moment, a large group from the OAPs home opposite turned up; the bus duly rolls up and the driver starts yelling at me to let all the OAPs on first - including people with walkers and tartan trolleys who then blocked the aisles. Due by the delay and the preponderance of oldies, I barely got on, and the driver continued to yell at me about respecting older people (I’m 62 and have a Senior bus pass!). I could have complained to Arriva but they are not interested.

Don’t ever apologise for something you haven’t done! And definitely don’t apologise for things your children haven’t done!
I’m fed up with us women constantly feeling we have to apologise. Sounds like the driver was on some kind of power trip and loved making you feel small.

I’ve come across aggressive bus drivers and just in general I’m sick of constant male aggression (which let’s face it, is often aimed at women). I don’t care if there’s a heatwave or it’s a stressful job, people need to learn to control themselves. If you want to complain, don’t let anyone stop you.

Utterly agree. And aggy fits this perfectly

Wise up.
The driver is there getting paid to do a job and as long as the kids weren't giving him abuse they dont need to be saying hello or anything else. They dont owe him a hello or a chat. It would be nice maybe but it definitely doesnt warrant his reaction. He seems like an aggressive man and id certainly be complaining. Id be almost certain he wouldnt speak to a man like this. OP stop apologising to people like this, sounds like hes on a power trip and cant believe people are actually making excuses for him.
If someone doesnt often use public transport and has followed the lead of what other bus drivers have done then OP wasnt doing anything wrong.

We have some lovely bus drivers in my city but we also have some very rude aggressive, bad tempered arseholes too, I avoid public transport unless I absolutely have to because of this, he should've been apologising to you.
Id complain, he cant be allowed to get away with his rage issues, especially in front of kids.

He sounds absolutely atrocious. “Can tell how they’ve been raised “ indeed. He’s one to talk. What an awful way to speak to people . I honestly wouldn’t be bothered complaining though it’s not worth it . Maybe he has terrible problems going on in his life at the moment , who knows

Yep. There are definitely bad apples. One was a split second away from hitting my child full on at about 25mph by running a red light at a pedestrian crossing. Fully red light, not just changing from amber.

Report him. What a fucking wanker.

I think it would have helped if you said sorry a bit more.

I think bus drivers do a tricky job in uncomfortable conditions for a low wage. However, sometimes people (not just bus drivers) can’t wait to have a go at kids over relatively little. They assume trouble before any trouble occurs or even have a go at the quiet ones they think are unlikely to answer back for what … a power trip? To make up for the ones who are rude and too scary to tackle? I think the only thing I would have done differently is maybe ask the driver what your kids did/said that was rude. Other than that forget it - I think every parent has had at least one experience like this and it’s just not worth the effort of untangling how it escalated.

Maybe hire a plane with a Sorry banner