AIBU to complain after a bus driver shouted at me and my children?

[Buscomp]

My DC and I very rarely use buses, however with the free travel this month I decided it might be a bit of a novelty to use local buses a little. I asked for tickets for all of us on the first two buses we got on but the drivers said “the kids are free” and let us on, so the next bus I didn’t mention them and just paid for myself assuming this was ok, that driver said nothing.

We boarded a bus together this afternoon and I did the same thing- paid for my ticket and started walking to find a seat. I then heard a commotion behind me so turned around and my 14 yo DD was saying “mum you need to come sort this”. I walked back to the front of the bus and the driver immediately started aggressively shouting at me. He said “your kids need free tickets, they can’t just get on, they were so rude to me as well, can tell how they’ve been raised, why would you just walk on? You need to acknowledge the driver- how dare you do this” etc etc.

Me being me, pretty non confrontational and calm, just apologised profusely for the misunderstanding and if anyone had appeared rude. I explained other drivers hadn’t given me free tickets so I didn’t realise this was necessary. He just said “well it is,
now take them” and printed them…

I said sorry again and feeling shaken, walked back up to my DC. I then overheard him bitching to another passenger about teenagers causing a raucous on the buses and how they shouldn’t be free etc. I assume he’s had a bad time with teens but mine were with me and also silent for the duration.

I decided to speak with him again before we got off. I explained how sorry I really was, that we didn’t use buses often and the other drivers hadn’t given us free tickets so I just didn’t realise at all. He then explained it’s for insurance purposes and I said ok that makes sense, thanks for clearing it up and sorry again. He didn’t stop though and started telling me I needed to “sort my kids out” and “they were rude and shouldn’t treat people like that”. I looked at DD confused and said I’m sorry I didn’t realise they’d said anything to you, I’ll have a word with them now and thank you then got off.

DD’s told me all that happened was the driver shouted after them “OI YOU TWO GET BACK HERE NOW” and they turned around confused and said what? Then they called for me, that was the whole interaction. Given the way he spoke to me, a fully grown adult, I’m inclined to believe them. Should I complain to the bus company? My heart was racing and I was shaking, I haven’t been shouted at like that for many years and just don’t expect to be. It’s certainly put us off using buses again!

The OP doesn't even know what her children said to the driver because she was doing her thing. If OP was at least present when her children allegedly said something to th3 driver, the OP would be able to manage it better. The fact she allowed her children to just wander onto the bus before dealing with the fare with the driver is irresponsible. The driver bus justified to respond.

If people don't dish out rudeness then they won't be treated rudely.

I wouldn't complain over this, but he's one of the grumpy ones. There are definitely bus drivers that just seem to hate people.

Teens are often a bit awkward and I'm need of social refinement. But you model the respect you want to see and he didn't do that. Most teens are not out there causing chaos and they are often treated quite unfairly because of the behaviour of others and they just can't win whatever they do.

Carry on using the busses. As much as a few drivers might grumble about changes, it gets people out and about cheaply and that is a good thing imo.

We all have shit days at work and manage not to shout at people.

Wow assumptions! Youre determined to find fault if this is your take on things.

I think you'll find it was the driver kicking up a fuss, not the OP! Your moniker suits you, what an angry little person you are.

Some drivers are just dickheads. Although in his defence he’s probably he’d enough of teenagers on buses and we are only a week into the free bus pass thing. And the general public are getting worse and worse to deal with anyway.

I’d probably just roll my eyes rather than complain. And yes to getting you DDs to at least acknowledge the driver in some way when getting on. Or people proving a service in general really.

You're telling people with children to get on the bus, and leave the children by the side of the (potentially busy) road, unwatched by you, while you discuss fares with the driver before they're allowed to get on? And they potentially block others in the queue behind them?

That's just confusing for everyone and risky for younger kids.

I always put my kids on in front of me so I can see what they're doing and to make it clear they're with me.

Bizarre advice to stop them boarding.

There's a lot of complex bus etiquette that people will talk about despite it not being practical or reflective of real life. Like how you're expected to somehow remember what order you arrived at the bus stop at and board in that order. I mean who is that interested in randoms at the bus stop?

Most people just want to show a pass or buy a ticket and get on and get it over with. Very few people are getting the bus for fun, it's a means to an end that only deserves so much headspace.

This. I bet my bottom dollar he wouldnt have spoken to a man this way.

I do love how using public transport is a bit of 'novelty' for you. Makes me think of CT sketch when they accidentally end up in Tottenham.

They weren't rude! The bus driver was!!!!!

It would let the company he works for know that he is a grumpy bastard and intimidates women and children with his manner.

I would 100 percent complain. He can’t talk about how a passengers children are raised.

How are they supposed to know they need tickets!

That’s not the public’s fault though is it?

Ok he was rude and that is that. Why the histrionics. You say to your kids “ he’s obviously having a bad day” and get on with yours. No need to complain, no need to draw this out and make it some big thing.

Oh definitely put in an official complaint. Do it via email so you have a paper trail. I don’t drive so get buses a lot and I’d say 80% are miserable rude arrogant men.

Complain in writing and tell them you expect an apology and him to get new training .

I did in the 90s. Why do we excuse rudeness in young people these days, as if it's something they have no control over?!

If they're over 11 and not with an adult they need a Zip card

Absolutely make a complaint, they're paid to provide a service, nt to ensure you dnt want to ever use tht service again!

I worked on the buses for over 20 years. I drove for about 3 and the rest was jobs as an inspector and then in management. I get why drivers get stressed and he shouldn’t have been rude. If you do complain it can become a disciplinary and possibly even dismissed depending on his record.
He is right about insurance as you suddenly get ghost customers putting in claims of injury and whiplash and the ticket is your evidence. On the other hand most people will bin the ticket.
when I was driving we had no air con in the cab and it can get stressful, especially with the heatwave we’re having now. Not an excuse but if it was me (and not that I would’ve spoken to anyone in that manner) I would’ve apologised when you were getting off the bus. I retired in 2008 and do get the pressure and that’s no excuse and I hope that helps.

Some drivers aren't bothered and some are, lesson learned. You don't really know what the interaction was, you would like to believe your kids of course but that doesn't mean something wasn't said. Or prehaps it is the fact that you didn't communicate effectively on their behalf when you got on the bus, he may have assumed they weren't with you and that would be obviously rude to hop on a bus without greeting and asking for a ticket.
To add my daughter is 14 went on the free bus yesterday and I made sure to tell her to ask for a ticket. It seems like common sense but there again I have been using public transport the majority of my life. So no I wouldn't complain because its clear there are a few uncertainties/miscommunication is the story.

Everyone needs a tickets for travel wether free or not. The company can claim back for each free child company. It also helps with future incentives how many have used the service.
If the inspector had got on he and possibly you could have got into trouble. But at least you know for next time.

He sounds like an absolute prick. I would definitely complain. No way would he speak to my kids like that 🤬

I took my grandaughter on the bus the other day and the driver explained that they have to print a ticket for each child as these fares are being covered by the government so the bus company needs to know what to charge them.

Urgh. What a weird comment. OP he sounds like a complete twat - these types NEVER shout at men, they’re utter cowards. Absolutely report him.