AIBU to find it strange that husband is invited to wedding without me

[Battyasacat]

My husband has been invited to one of his employees wedding, she has worked at his company for 20 years. The invite just has his name on the envelope and there is no name inside just a printed card. He replied online but it seems like it is just for him.It’s all day
We have been married for 40 years and would have never done this despite being on a low budget at the time.
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I think it's understandable to save cost, weddings are expensive

People should have the wedding that they can afford, though.

If it requires cutting out partners due to expense and making any guest uncomfortable, that’s too much.

Meh, we had quite a few work colleagues at our wedding but only invited spouses if we personally knew them.
There were about 20 colleagues so that would have almost doubled to 40.
We had 70 guests which would have increased to 90.
They all knew each other, its not like anyone was a Billy no mates.
And it was a church wedding although most were local to where we got married.

I disagree. Small talk to people I don't know is not something worth somebody else spending on me.

Nah, that's not on. Such bad form from her. if I were your DH, I'd decline.

He's her boss. He's been invited out of politeness, the tone thing is to decline but send a gift.

Oh that’s not, as others have been invited. It is far from the done thing to decline. He has to go out of politeness.

Fine when its a colleague, you’d be more likely to invite colleagues alone as they can come in a group.

I invited a group of work colleagues without their partners, they came as group, it seemed to be fine.

Why would you be invited to a wedding of a person you don’t know? That’s weird to expect to be

I still think there is a difference between your colleagues and your boss, as in the owner of the company where you have worked for 20 years and it would be polite to invite his partner/wife.
Customs differ and where I’m from I think that would be the norm.

Yes, I actually would expect my spouse to be invited to any wedding I’m invited to, because that is standard etiquette for married couples. If someone knows I’m married and deliberately excludes my husband, then no, sorry, I’m not going and I know my husband would feel the same. It’s not about wanting to attend the wedding of someone I barely know, it's about not showing up to celebrate someone else’s marriage while they’re treating mine like an optional add-on because 'catering is expensive.'

Don't some of you ever go out anywhere without your husbands? You are not joined at the hip.

No he doesn't. He very well could have a schedule conflict. That's absurd.

In this case, he should decline.

If he doesn't feel comfortable to attend without you OP, he can politely decline, and send a small gift.

Personally I would be upset if one of DH's friends invited only him, but a colleague I would have absolutely no issue with.

Standard etiquette from 40 years ago maybe 🤣

Lol, imagine thinking basic consideration for someone’s spouse expired with shoulder pads and cassette tapes.

I wouldn’t expect to be invited to one of DH’s colleagues weddings (unless I knew them really well too) and to be honest, I wouldn’t want to go as I feel weird being at the big life event of someone I don’t know. I’d rather DH went alone and had a good time without having to worry about minding me because I don’t know anyone.

The wedding is in Scotland and we live in London so most of his team probably won’t go. It would involve 2 nights away, thanks for all the input .😊 Not every couple likes to go away for weekends separately, that’s ok too .
Live and let live, have a lovely weekend everyone. Xx

I’m just planning my wedding. We’re not inviting anyone we don’t personally know reasonably well - colleagues spouses, relatives girlfriends, etc, haven’t made the cut.

Our wedding is about being with our nearest and dearest. My relationship with my friends and colleagues is with them as individuals, not them as a couple.

Maybe we’ve offended everyone, but they’ve all said yes so far.

Not every couple likes to go away for weekends separately, that’s ok too .

Not being able to be apart for 1 weekend isn’t healthy.

But as you say, live and let live.

This is weird. I’ve been to DH’s colleagues weddings and vice versa, we’ve never met the colleague or spouse before. Plus one is a totally usual thing.

Nope. It's in Scotland, they live in London!! It's a politeness invite, nobody is expecting him to.go!!

Pretty common for colleagues now: who don't know the bride or groom or wouldn't know anyone else either. Win win I've always thought. I'd hate to go to my husbands work wedding where I'd literally no know one and have to listen to all work chat about people I don't know etc

Bloody hell. Talk about an inflated ego.

You and your husband are two different people. You are not defined by your marital status and you can go to events separately. It’s no slight on your marital status at all to not be invited. It’s really not about you.

And it really isn’t etiquette anymore to invite married couples to everything. Etiquette and society changes. I mean it was normal for women to stop working once pregnant in the 70s but clearly times change.