To not tell her parents?

[foreverornever]

Dd(15) had some friends stay over last night, they all helped one of the friends (also 15 but turning 16 in a month) sneak her boyfriend in and they ended up sleeping together.

Dd is obviously in trouble for lying, younger dc saw teen boy in our house which scared them. Friend has apologised, has promised that they used protection and pleaded with me not to tell her parents.

I don’t know her parents well and she is basically 16 so I do feel like it’s something that she should get to tell them only if she wants to and not my place to do so but then obviously I was supposed to be responsible for her last night.

If it was my daughter I would probably want to know but I wouldn’t expect to be told in this situation by other parents.

WIBU to not tell them?

Says you who doesnt know what a paedophile is ...

I gave you the definition, did you not see that ?

Only you didn’t did you? You have no clue 🤦‍♀️
From the NSPCC
The tenth edition of the International Classification of Mental and Behavioural Disorders (ICD-10) classifies paedophilia as a sexual preference for children, usually of prepubertal or early pubertal age. The person diagnosed must be at least 16 years old and at least five years older than the child or children who are the focus of their sexual preference.

So you think the girl is a peado too?

I don’t need glory, or your approval. I didn’t “sneak into someone else’s house” - my best friend’s auntie let us use her house for a birthday get together, and we all had a great time. No one was hurt. No one found out. We created amazing memories which have stayed with me for life.
I am now happily married, with 3 children and a masters degree in Engineering (in case you wish to also band around the accusation that I’m thick, as you have done with other posters).
Try having some fun. You might enjoy it!

But for the third time you got it wrong HTH.

Where did I say that?

Your post at 9.37am. She's attracted to him and hes also a child. So youre saying you shes a paedophile too. Oops.

Have pasted it below for you:

Well, he is
"paedophile
/ˈpiːdəfʌɪl/
noun

1. a person who is sexually attracted to children:"

I used quotes from various sources, so blame them, not me for promulgating misinformation - if that indeed was the case.

Whih you clearly didnt read properly .

@littlebowpeepscrook Incapable of a reasoned argument... from the person who failed to understand the law as it is written and then called it nonsense because they didn't like it ok hahahahaha good one babe

Really showing off that cognitive flexibility there aren't ya.

Oh and seeing as (according to you) resorting to insults makes any argument invalid I guess yours is null and void too - or was inferring that I don't understand basic brain anatomy not an insult in your book?

Well on the subject of consent let’s talk about passing on intimate information to this girl’s parents without her consent.

If consent matters it matters across the board.

I’m disappointed but not surprised at the number of posters who would ride roughshod over consent to share her private business despite begging not to.

15 year old are legally deemed to have capacity to consent despite not having reached the age of consent.

Equally, we have no idea of her reasons for not wanting to share that information. If her parents are abusive, ultra strict/religious or from a conservative culture - eg Asian or Arab - that could have serious consequences.

So you are telling us that "my best friend’s auntie let us use her house for a birthday get together".
So she went away and gave the house keys to a bunch of unsupervised 14 year olds to have a party? Really ? That's about as likely as me flying to Mars solo and an engineering degree that's been concocted to prove a point.

@Aluna "If consent matters it matters across the board."

Not necessarily.

Under the Children Act 1989, parents (or anyone with parental responsibility) are legally required to safeguard and promote their child’s welfare. This means that parents are allowed — and sometimes expected — to step in, even if it means overriding a child’s privacy in certain situations.
So, while your child has a right to privacy, that right isn’t absolute. The law gives you room to intervene if you have legitimate concerns about their wellbeing or safety.

The law also makes it clear that privacy doesn’t mean secrecy from consequences — and you’re not breaking any rules by stepping in if you believe your child’s wellbeing is at risk.
For example, you’re legally allowed to:

• Check their messages or search history if you’re genuinely concerned about their safety
• Intervene in private conversations if there are signs of bullying, grooming, or self-harm
• Go through their room if you believe they may be hiding something dangerous

The key point is that it has to be proportionate and motivated by care, not control. You can’t monitor every aspect of their life indefinitely — but you can act if you have serious concerns. And in doing so, you’re still acting within the law.

Its not as ridiculous as calling a 16 year old boy a paedophile for having consensual sex with his 15 year old gurlfriend who is just 3 months younger than him
And then coming up with all kinds of scenarios to prove your point

So which of these "scenarios" that you refer to do you consider to be improbable, implausible or both?

@HairsprayBabe "or was inferring that I don't understand basic brain anatomy not an insult in your book?"

So do you understand basic brain anatomy? In fact have you ever seen one IRL ?

That isn't correct.
I read them and posted them.
I trusted them to be comprehensive, and they turned out to be incomplete.

Disrespectful, makes it sound less congruous.

She (the daughter) is not part of the offence, she is totally complicit.
Without her consent this would never have happened.

Even in the very unlikely event that she did not know anything until he turned up (which in my opinion would be absolute bullshit) she could have told him to go, or run into the garden to tell you.

Peer pressure does not come into it. It is obvious they all knew and it was planned, and executed with precision.

A 16 year old does not turn up on the off chance that he can shag his girlfriend at a sleepover. This has all been planned, and your daughter actually was in on it, helped plan it, and because she was found out is diminishing her role in it.

@littlebowpeepscrook

Not sure why you’re AIing me. I know what the law says. There’s no law that says you have to break the confidence of a 15 year old without their consent.

And doing so may have the opposite effect to safeguarding.

It seems you didn't read what I posted at 11.40.today
If you choose not to, then that's your choice.

@littlebowpeepscrook I have actually my degree is Human Biology and anatomy, and way back in 2011 we had the opportunity to sit in on an autopsy - where we all got to see a brain (and various other organs) not to mention the various museum specimens I have seen.
Happy to send over my degree cert if it will stop your pathetic attempts to undermine me.

I am more than happy to insult you and I don't think it makes an argument irrelevant. You however told me that insulting someone does make an argument irrelevant. Then proceeded to (try) to call me thick... When you yourself couldn't understand a basic legal principle without declaring it nonsense.

I am glad you were a well behaved goody two shoes teen and that you had well behaved boring children yourself. You clearly could not have handled anything more challenging.

And did you read the part about pre pubescent chiilden or did you ignore that ?

@HairsprayBabe and way back in 2011 we had the opportunity to sit in on an autopsy

Not in UK you didn't.
They are called "Post Mortems" here.
Autopsy is a term used in USA

@littlebowpeepscrook Yes in the UK I did. I referred to it as an autopsy because that is the scientific term for the dissection of a human body. All autopsies are post mortems, but not all post mortems are autopsies. Hope this helps.