To not tell her parents?

[foreverornever]

Dd(15) had some friends stay over last night, they all helped one of the friends (also 15 but turning 16 in a month) sneak her boyfriend in and they ended up sleeping together.

Dd is obviously in trouble for lying, younger dc saw teen boy in our house which scared them. Friend has apologised, has promised that they used protection and pleaded with me not to tell her parents.

I don’t know her parents well and she is basically 16 so I do feel like it’s something that she should get to tell them only if she wants to and not my place to do so but then obviously I was supposed to be responsible for her last night.

If it was my daughter I would probably want to know but I wouldn’t expect to be told in this situation by other parents.

WIBU to not tell them?

You are calling him a paedophile
You do realise that its perfectly normal for teenagers to be atrracted to each othet .?

You called him a paedophile. She is no more a child than he is, from my experience with teenagers, I’ve a lot of teenage nephews and nieces, and my own children, I’d guarantee that she is more mature than he would be with a 3 month age gap.
Most girls are way ahead of boys at the age in terms of maturity.

If he's able to have sex, then he's "sexually mature".
Girls don't have to be sexually mature to have sex, which is why they can be groomed, coerced, and manipulated into sexual activity they don't want.

Some of these replies are actually insane!
Nobody is a paedophile, there’s 3 months between them, nothing is going to magically happen to her mind or body in the next 20 something days that hasn’t already.

And actually at this age girls are both more physically and emotionally mature than boys as we start and finish puberty earlier.

Why are you assuming she didnt want to have sex ?
You have now accused him of being a paedophile and a rapist .

I hate that we continue to infantilise teenagers.

At 15 they are adolescents, they are deemed competent enough to consent to medical treatment without parental involvement. They can get jobs, be held accountable for criminal activity even have a custodial sentence, they have already decided on their GCSEs which cam map out their whole lives. They can even apply join certain branches of the armed forces.
They are young adults.

They are not babies or idiots, sexual development is as normal as any other part of development and shouting pedo at two teens who want to sleep with each other is puritanical madness.

😆

I'm putting a 'laugh' emoji but it's really not funny.

But you thought it was OK to sneak into someone else's house for underage sex? - unless your auntie give the key to her house to a 14 year old house-sitter, which I don't believe.
You don't exactly cover yourself in glory by disrespecting someone's property and privacy.

Why are you assuming she did?

What the law says about age and consent
In England and Wales, a ‘child’ means anyone under 18. However, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16. This means that sexual activity is always unlawful if one of the participants is under 16, even if they appear to agree.
Once a young person turns 16, the law recognises that they can legally consent to sexual activity. It’s important to understand what consent means in the law:

• Consent means that you agree to someone doing something because you want to
• You must agree by choice, and you need both freedom and capacity to make that choice
• This means you cannot be pressured or forced into your decision, and you need to understand what you are agreeing to.

Even though 16- and 17-year-olds are legally able to consent, they are still considered children under the law. This means they can still be victims of child sexual abuse.

I dont know about anyone else but im shocked to the core that teens can be disrespectful.

@littlebowpeepscrook Teenagers can make really fucking stupid choices though can't they. It's kind of their whole thing. It doesn't mean they are bad people or that they wont grow up to be normal members of society it just means they are teenagers, they are learning about the world and finding out what boundaries are acceptable to push.

I did a whole litany of stupid stuff as a teenager, and I am sure you did too. Unless you were perfect boring.

@littlebowpeepscrook

The law is actually written so the legal age of consent to sexual activity is 16 years old. However an individual under 13 years old is not legally capable to give consent.

So a teen 13-15 is able to consent so the sex can be deemed consensual even though it is technically illegal.

@HairsprayBabe I did a whole litany of stupid stuff as a teenager, and I am sure you did too.

So now you are a mindreader?

I was very cautious as a teen because I didn't want anything to come back and bite me on the backside later in life and also I wanted my teens to grow up with certain standards

Im.not assuming anything
Im going off the info we have that two teenagers of a similar age had consensual sex
Its you that has decided that it wasent consensual and hes a paedophile

@littlebowpeepscrook must be nice being perfect

Happily we know through various studies that teenagers actually learn vital life lessons through mistakes because their brains are actively rewiring. The emotional and reward centres develop faster than the prefrontal cortex, which handles logic and control, experiencing missteps helps build mental flexibility and problem-solving skills for adulthood.

So you must not be very good at those things.

You do realise they are both under 18 ?

@HairsprayBabe So a teen 13-15 is able to consent so the sex can be deemed consensual even though it is technically illegal.

What utter nonsense is that?

The irony ....

I never said "it wasn't consensual" - I said "how do we know it was consensual?"

I wish I had shares in a smelling salts factory 🤣

@littlebowpeepscrook It is literally the law don't know what to tell you, maybe write to your MP if you don't like it.

We go off the information given and not try and change the narrative .

@HairsprayBabe "must be nice being perfect "

I never said I was perfect. However, I had people who guided me responsibly and helped me make positive choices.

Quoting psychobabble doesn't help your argument. I doubt if you would know what a "pre-frontal cortex" was, if one bit you on the bum.

Throwing out insults just shows you're incapable of reasoned argument.

That's the whole point, we aren't given much information except that two teens were disrespectful and abused an adult's hospitality and trust.

Yes.

And your point is ?