Brownies incident stopped me singing, starting to see how messed up it was.

[Magenta82]

When I (44) was 8 I went to a big division meet up, not many people from my pack went. There was show put on by another group as part of their Entertainer badge, they played the spoons. Someone then described the award and I thought it sounded like fun. I went back and badgered the leaders until they agreed to do it.

We did a big group show for all the parents and everyone had to do an individual piece as well, some at the show and some on a normal Brownies night. I chose to do it at the show.

I decided to sing from my school hymn book (the blue one with the ugly kids on the front #4 Autumn Days), on my own, in front of everyone with no musical accompliment. The "judges" were 3 quite elderly ladies from some kind of group of retired Brownie leaders or something (trefoil?). They failed me. I didn't get the badge.

Now admittedly I can't carry a tune in a bucket but still! I was basically put off singing for life, gave up trying, if I was so bad I couldn't get a brownie bade I must be the worst in the world.

It seemed unjust at the time, but now I have a child in Squirrels I really just how fucked up it really was.

AIBU

Was the solo performance part of the award given simply for standing up and singing a hymn? Google says: The vintage Girlguiding UK Brownie Entertainer badge required a Brownie to plan, rehearse, and perform a short entertainment item—such as singing, reciting, or a small play—for an audience, demonstrating performance skills and self-confidence before a local tester

Did they not explain to you that you might not get the badge or was this the beginning of the ‘participation awards’ system?

If it has put you off singing, why would you send your own children though (assuming Squirrels is a branch of the same organisation)?

I went to Brownies for a couple of weeks when I was a kid and then was forced to join Guides - it took me a whole year to get thrown out. I wouldn’t want anyone I cared for to be involved in the organisation.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'not that hard to work out'. I asked whether you would have been awarded the badge had you not met the criteria. By 'encouraged to try again', I assume you mean you aren't awarded the badge but can retake it? I'm not British and I've never been a Brownie or Guide. My only comparison would be music exams.

I don't actually agree with that though as what have they learned and improved upon? I earned my hostess badge with my fairy cakes, tea and nicely set out tray. Would have been a swizz to awarded it otherwise.

Adding to my post... This sort of thing hardly helps build resilience and surely creates young adults who crumple at the first real life set back.

Of course you shouldn't be awarded a cooking badge if your cooking is making people sick. Then you have to try for it again and do better.

In our GG group you can practice and improve your journey - and then be awarded the badge.
It's more about your development towards the goal and badge than a competition. GG isn't a competition.

She performed and entertained in front of an audience. It was what was asked of her. She should have had a badge. It wasn't a singing competion.

Then what’s the point ? What do they gain? An expectation that they will be rewarded merely for turning up and being seen to make an effort? Its worthless.

If your cakes are shite you shouldn’t get the badge.

Perhaps they should abolish the badges completely as they don’t actually mean anything.

She may not have been that entertaining. Tbf unless a child is an incredibly talented singer, they aren’t that entertaining.

So should no Brownies get the badge then, unless they're West End ready?

Squirrels is part if Scouting, its unisex and a bit more outdoorsy, much more suitable for my daughter than Girl Guiding.

No one suggested it was a possibility that we wouldn't pass, it was an interest badge, not a skills one like first aid.

Well, either the retired Brownie didn't get the memo, or criteria were tougher back then? Presumably the performance was so bad it didn't meet the criteria to be 'entertaining' as @Magenta82 was tone deaf, and they thought she should have chosen a dance or recitation or instrument for her solo piece? Shouldn't her own leader have gently steered her away from singing? Presumably she would have heard her rehearse?

@Goditsmemargaret same! I only started singing aloud when I had my first baby and I can’t hold a tune at all. DH and the DC have all got great singing voices (DS is the lead singer in a band) and they gently tease me but it’s with love and they never make me feel bad.

I had awarded her with a badge and the day my GG group fail an 8 yo like this I am out as a leader.

I am in a community choir, there are so many people there with stories like yours, put off singing at an early age. I didn't sing for years after leaving school due to a bonkers music teacher.

I bet your baby loves your singing 💜

My mum used to make all our clothes, so one day I proudly tried the dress on she had made, her reaction was " well you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear!!"
Life time of insecurity for me abouty appearance

If they can’t sing then they shouldn’t get a badge for singing/entertaining. Same if if they burn their cakes for the baking badge

What does their being "elderly" have to.do.with it?

I once tried out for a community choir type thing but they rejected me because I couldn’t sing

It should have been explained to you at the time. When people did badges in my time, they knew they might not get them.

Well that's fair enough in that case but the general idea that all get prizes even if they are crap is daft and counterproductive.

It's not a prize.

So you want to tell the kid with Down syndrome they can’t have a badge because they couldn’t make cakes? Or the kid with autism? The point is they try their best.
They gain experiences, friendship, badges for showing up each week and having a go.

It’s not a school exam to pass, it’s not a test. It’s a fun club for CHILDREN. No one should be turning round to a 6 year old child and saying sorry molly your cakes were shit so you don’t get a badge. But ALL your friends do. What kind of bullshit is that? I can’t believe any parent, or indeed adult, would think that was ok

@Magenta82
Similar story. We all had to sing for the school Christmas concert. Teachers had us all lined up as someone was singing flat - they walked along the line to find the culprit - me - I got sent out the classroom!! Then a teacher told me I still had to participate in the concert but just to mime rather than sing. I was 9 years old and this has affected me all my life as I was mortified 😭. Everytime it's someone's birthday I still pretend to sing and on holiday in Greece in May, the hotel 'entertainer' refused to give me points in a music quiz as I refused to sing the answer into a microphone - wouldn't accept me saying the words 😡. We lost the quiz because of it and I was outraged and embarrassed all over again. The only saving grace is that it didn't stop my love of music and I sang (badly) to both my kids and they are brilliant at music - both play multiple instruments proficiently and have performed in concerts but also are not great singers 🙈.