Brownies incident stopped me singing, starting to see how messed up it was.

[Magenta82]

When I (44) was 8 I went to a big division meet up, not many people from my pack went. There was show put on by another group as part of their Entertainer badge, they played the spoons. Someone then described the award and I thought it sounded like fun. I went back and badgered the leaders until they agreed to do it.

We did a big group show for all the parents and everyone had to do an individual piece as well, some at the show and some on a normal Brownies night. I chose to do it at the show.

I decided to sing from my school hymn book (the blue one with the ugly kids on the front #4 Autumn Days), on my own, in front of everyone with no musical accompliment. The "judges" were 3 quite elderly ladies from some kind of group of retired Brownie leaders or something (trefoil?). They failed me. I didn't get the badge.

Now admittedly I can't carry a tune in a bucket but still! I was basically put off singing for life, gave up trying, if I was so bad I couldn't get a brownie bade I must be the worst in the world.

It seemed unjust at the time, but now I have a child in Squirrels I really just how fucked up it really was.

AIBU

Yup - this is awful.

I had similar. As a 6 year old I was told by a music teacher to just mouth the words during the annual school play as I couldn't carry a tune. I never sang again (in my 40s now) and have been incredibly self conscious about singing / music ever since.

Wow. My teacher put me off drawing forever when I was 8. I used to love it. Now 46 and still hate it.

Don't worry the Beatles were turned down

You can still make it big

I was told by my 3rd year infant teacher (Yr 2 equivalent nowadays), very loudly, in front of the class and parents, that I couldn’t sing, and she was right, because from that point onwards I actually couldn’t ever bring myself to sing. Not even on my own in the car.
i am so conscious now to be encouraging of everyone, especially children.

I'm a musical person, member of choirs, etc and I can tell you Autumn Days is a bloody hard song to sing solo and unaccompanied. Well done for trying.

Oh that’s awful!!! I’m outraged for you OP

I didn't get into a choir as a child because I cannot sing. I completely agree with them, I am tone deaf. I am sad that I cannot sing, I can't even sing on my own in the car because it sounds bad to my own ears and ruins the song. I don't for a second think they should've let me join. It's not their fault I cannot sing. I think it's a good life experience to accept that you can't do some things and if we give kids awards and prizes for everything even when they are rubbish at it because we don't want them to feel any disappointment then we are directly adding to the fragility and lack of resilience which impacting the youth of today. Better to learn at an early age what your strengths and weaknesses are. I will never be a good singer just like I will always have terrible balance and vertigo so was never a natural gymnast or rock climber.

I had a similar experience at school with Art. You are made to do art before you can opt out, and I cant draw. We had to do a still life, and I spent two weeks trying really hard to draw a trainer. In the end I thought I did a really good job, and I was really proud of it. I got 0/10. It made me really sad, and people laughed. Art is something that generally you are good at or not, so why cant you be awarded for effort. Still smart to this day and I am 49.

She was 8 years old

@Magenta82 YADNBU but thank you for unlocking a lovely nostalgic memory for me asI haven't thought about Autumn Days for years, the one that sings about the crunchy grass and sizzling bacon? Banging hymn!

Surely you have noticed that people are getting progressively shitter at their jobs and social interactions? Imo the absurdly brutal and high standards of the frustrated old ladies of yore (could have been surgeons but born in an era when they had to assess brownie badges instead) made for a better society. Watching small children fanny about and get praised for it annoys me.

Also I know you were joking (maybe not entirely) but get over it.

WTAF! That is awful OP! Sorry 😔

I had a similar experience, not quite the same, but had a similar affect. Was demoted from being cub scout Seconder and THEY CUT THE SECONDER BADGE FROM MY ARM in front of whole cub troop. Apparently I was too shy to be a seconder. Never really got over it.

There were too many of this type of old biddies in those days who thought they actually were important - in actual fact they were just loons. Of course you should have got the badge for singing solo! You were 8. Who are they to judge anyone's singing? It wasn't a singing exam like ARBSM. It was a 'do something in the sphere of entertainment.' And it's a hobby.

I recall my Brownie pack in the early 1970s spending one meeting doing activities to try to get the Athlete badge. I failed on everything apart from the rope skipping, which I'd taught myself to do well because it was an essential playground skill. It's filed among a bunch of negative experiences of organised sport from my childhood, but I can't argue with it because the criteria weren't open to interpretation, and I did go away determined to do better next time and work on throwing and catching a ball and jumping.

Getting up in front of a bunch of people you don't know and a panel of judges and belting out a hymn? That seems worth a badge to me. You were robbed, OP. Maybe the stern old women had been watching too much New Faces on television.

I had this song at my wedding! Was my fave hym at school. All together now: Autum days when the grass is jewelled and the silk inside a chestnut shell!

I mean how would you like it if you'd been born clever back then? I'd have lost my mind. Cursed to indulge snot nosed brats as they caper hopelessly before you.

If awards are given to everyone no matter how bad their performance what is the point of them.
I strongly disagree with encouraging children to be competitive then saying oh well they all have to win- what on earth is the point, you are teaching them there is no point learning to avoid unpleasant outcomes-is that really a good lesson , are you really helping them?

Massive hug 🫂 for you OP
That is absolutely horrible. Even if you were the worst singer in the world (and I am absolutely sure you were not!) the fact that you got up and sang so boldly in front of everyone was reason enough to give you your badge.
Good for little 8 year old you for trying and having such a great sense of confidence and fun!
🎖️

Love that. Bet it sounded amazing. I'm going to have to YouTube it as I can't remember any lyrics except the grass, bacon and bellowing out not to forget to say a big thank you!

a brownie badge isn't a competition.

And this is why dd went to scouts. Much more fun and less prissy!

Yes it is, you have to meet criteria, which the OP did not meet.

That’s awful.
It takes a lot to get up there in the first place.
so wrong.

But it was meant to be about keenring a skill and showing you can do it.

The other pack learned to play the spoons - they actually made an effort learning a skill and then used it to entertain. OP used her school song book to sing when she wasn’t a natural singer. That’s not really putting any effort in to earn an entertainer badge.

There are just two types of people - those who give awards to everyone and those who think kids need to put in some effort and actually learn a skill: