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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH just made me a dinner that he knows I don’t like

133 replies

Oystersinmypocket · 03/08/2026 19:16

Looking for a bit of perspective on this DH has just made me dinner after I came in from work, he does very little cooking so I’m very grateful of that.

He told me he was doing fish cakes and salad, just sat down and started eating and I said are they salmon fish cakes, he said yea, I said to him I don’t like salmon, you know I don’t, we’ve been together 20 years and I just don’t like it.
He said to me well you had it the other week, I didn’t, it was sea bass at a restaurant and he had the same thing!
It just feels like he doesn’t think and all I do is think of the family, I feel exhausted with it and it’s probably colouring my view of the situation but AIBU to feel a bit out out?

OP posts:
Pushmepullu · 05/08/2026 17:19

Nincompoo · 03/08/2026 19:21

I cooked my dh sausages once, knowing he doesn’t like them, but he’d really pissed me off and deserved them. He knew he’d been unreasonable and ate them without complaint 😆

Have you done some thing to get on his nerves that could’ve prompted salmon related passive aggression?

I did something similar to my dad and brother when my mum was in hospital and neither of them would help around the house. I did pie and mash for a week until finally dad asked if the freezer was empty. They got the hint.

Merida46 · Yesterday 15:15

Oystersinmypocket · 03/08/2026 19:16

Looking for a bit of perspective on this DH has just made me dinner after I came in from work, he does very little cooking so I’m very grateful of that.

He told me he was doing fish cakes and salad, just sat down and started eating and I said are they salmon fish cakes, he said yea, I said to him I don’t like salmon, you know I don’t, we’ve been together 20 years and I just don’t like it.
He said to me well you had it the other week, I didn’t, it was sea bass at a restaurant and he had the same thing!
It just feels like he doesn’t think and all I do is think of the family, I feel exhausted with it and it’s probably colouring my view of the situation but AIBU to feel a bit out out?

I would have mashed the fishcakes up with my bare hands then formed them into the shape of a cock and balls, turned the plate so that the tip pointed at him, wiped my hands on his jumper then I would have gone for a take away!

TheThirteenthFairy · Yesterday 17:19

Sidebeforeself · 03/08/2026 19:26

DH does this sometimes. Not so much cooking things but say we go to someone’s house for dinner and they say “Is lamb OK?” He’ll say yes on my behalf too even though I eat very little meat. Or he’ll buy crisps for us both but in the one flavour I hate.Its just not thinking.

'It's just not thinking.' No, no. He's thinking.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · Yesterday 17:28

TheThirteenthFairy · Yesterday 17:19

'It's just not thinking.' No, no. He's thinking.

Show quote history

I cater for DW likes/dislikes now I don't wear a halo it's just one those things that's done without thinking because over the years I've taken notice of the above +I ask her.

Thebigarsedbitch · Yesterday 20:20

ExitPursuedByABare · 03/08/2026 23:53

My DH never cooked. If I was ill in bed he could just about manage beans on toast. Although he once made me a bacon sandwich when I was ill and put ketchup on it. I hate ketchup.

His worst crime however was when I’d broken my leg. I spent hours hopping myself around the kitchen on a perching stool, making a luscious chicken stew. A vat full. I portioned it up and asked him to put it in the freezer in the futility room. He put it in the sodding spare fridge. Ruined. All of it.

What’s the expression about deliberate uselessness? So we won’t ask them again.

He’s dead now.

Was a patio involved?

sassyclassyandsmartassy · Yesterday 21:26

YourBra · 03/08/2026 21:28

Fish is fish. Eat what he made.

It’s not. I eat salmon, but literally cannot stomach tuna.

When my mum very kindly had us living with her for a short time between homes she made tuna pasta bake… clearly totally forgot I hate tuna. I really did try, took a mouthful and just could not swallow. My DH was very very happy that night as he really likes tuna and doesn’t like salmon much 😂😂😂. I cooked some of step son’s chicken nuggets for myself out of the freezer.

justasking111 · Yesterday 22:25

Tuna is god awful 🤢

dudsville · Yesterday 22:32

My DH and I have only about a 50% or less shared interests in food. We often now don't cook for one another, but when we do, we eat what's been prepared for us.

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