FIL - I can’t bare him and his stupid behaviour and I’m close to exploding

[Sovereigns]

I feel like I’m going to snap. I’ve name changed as I’ve spoken to a few people in real life about this and it would be obvious who I am.

My father in law - I’ve never liked him. I don’t know what it is, he has the most annoying face and stupid expressions. He always has to be centre of attention. On our wedding day the person doing the video went over to him and he just stared into it with a stupid grin slowly opening a bottle of wine and it completely ruined the video as it’s so, so annoying. Everyone says so, it’s not just me.

During the summer holidays he’s taken it upon himself to visit every morning to see the kids (unfortunately he only lives a short walk away). He lets himself in through the back door and then just stands there in the kitchen grinning, not saying anything. I’ve started just completely ignoring him until he walks in and speaks like a normal person.

Thing is I can feel myself boiling over with rage. On Friday he came in, stood there not speaking so I ignored him and he suddenly shouted “I’ve Brayed my Bonce!” Baby was asleep, woke up in shock, started crying and I was so annoyed I just snapped and said “Right. Why did you come here then?” Whilst I saw to the baby.

On Saturday DH made a big carrot cake and FIL came in and shouted “where’s my lump?”. DH said we’re not cutting it yet. Later that evening he rang up saying “don’t forget I want a lump”.

Yesterday morning he came around and said “when am I getting my lump?” So I snapped and said “DH will you just cut him some cake please, I’m getting sick of hearing about the fucking thing”. He winds me up more than anyone I have ever met. I’m getting annoyed just writing this post.

This morning he came in - stood in the kitchen grinning with his arm outstretched holding the tub the cake was put in so I snapped “what??? Just put it on the side!! What are you just stood there with it for??”

he put it down and said “right, I assume you’re busy so I’ll leave you to it” and left. Now I’m thinking is it me??

Seriously OP, anywhere you can go the next few days to get away from him for a bit?

Sounds like you need some head space for your own sanity and to formulate a plan going (harder to do when you feel epically pissed off (for good reason).

It sounds like the husband is avoiding it as confronting his dad is the more difficult option than asking his wife to placate him.

These types get away with things by being unreasonable

The only response to the "it's just dad being dad" argument is "Well I'm not having it and that's just me being me"

Otherwise he doesn’t sound that annoying.

He really does, but if the original post wasn't enough, have you read the updates? Ringing up people she's had job interviews with to check she's not lying about not having heard back? Telling strangers she has PND (when she hasn't, but wouldn't want it to be public knowledge if she had)? Spitting drinks out around her house on purpose?

This is not that annoying to you?

ah OP you have my sympathy. My FIL is a twat. DH too him to hospital today, took a day off work. I went to support DH. FIL kept making smart arse remarks to the Dr about being allowed to the pub. He is being reviewed on a 2WW after a GI bleed. It’s not be cause he is scared.
there are a certain group of entitled men 65up who think the world revolves around them.

I've hit my head

You have never met him, so maybe stop trying to shame the OP for being annoyed by him.

It's funny how some men this age think acting like a toddler is oh so very fucking charming. It's attention seeking and tedious. My DD is a vet nurse who has client like this in his 70s, makes any appointment about his elderly, sick cat about him and has to act the arse during consults (he loves to talk about himself in the third person in a baby voice). His poor wife seems to be there as his handler. He also thinks this is charming but not a single member of staff can bear him. There are too many of them for them all to have a special need of some kind.

My own DH, in his fifties, went through a phase of behaving like a man child, doing something that he knew would cause me work or inconvenience and then putting on this silly smile as if to say, "I'm so adorable, you can't have a go or refuse me". I have stomped all over that shit and thankfully, he has now reverted to behaving like a man in his fifties. If he ever turns into your FIL, I am gone.

You have to talk to your DH, OP, you cannot have this in your home very single day. If he is still around when you hit menopause, you WILL snap!

I'm thinking of Charlie Higson in The Fast Show - I'm a Bit Of A Character!!! Colin, was it.....?

Aw poor fella! Find him something to do and then give him tea and cake.

I feel really sorry for him, it’s clear he’s bored and lonely and trying to be friendly , there is nothing malicious here.

you sound hugely intolerant and rude op and I’m horrified posters are egging you on, in some form of remote pile on. To stick it to this man,

He sounds like he’s trying to be funny and it’s landing wrong, I think he wants to be your friend!

I think we have to make an effort with in laws personally, for our partners sake, even if they annoy us.

He sounds pretty harmless, I think you just have opposing sense of humours

He's not her child.

It sounds like he's trying to be comedic but isn't realising that you're not finding these antics funny. Honestly, it does sound like you have some anger issues that you need to address, though. It's not normal to become this enraged over small incidents like these. If an adult is making you this angry, how will you have the patience to deal with small children?

How’s that shaming, you seem to be thoroughly relishing this man getting some more abuse.

Gosh you really are relishing it aren’t you.

I'm not 'relishing' anything. I just feel for the OP being stuck with such an annoying person. I bet that none of the people tellling her to 'be kind' would put up with this behaviour themselves.

Ooo are you trying to poke op with a stick🤣🤣 she clearly detests his very being.

Am enjoying this juxtaposition.

No he doesn't, he sounds absolutely bloody infuriating.

So tell him. If mum is nasty and dad is annoying and you don’t care for their company why are you being so nice? Tell him ‘FIL don’t pull that stupid bloody face in my house or I’ll change the locks’ and tell him when he’s doing your head in.

He does sound both annoying and unusual,, but you are also sounding quite OTT op. I mean you must have known him when you married DH?

I think it would help a lot if you put boundaries around him just turning up. Beyond that, I'm afraid you might just have to be more tolerant. You can't really make people different.

Sorry?

You misinterpreted what I said .

I would put laxative in a special cake for him

Tell us more about the holiday OP..