To not feed my children?

[DoggieNamechange]

They're 13 and 15. I work FT (largely from home) and do all housework and dog walking around that.

The past few weeks I've been getting them lunch when I break for mine but now they're getting up later and later. They've been up for an hour now and just hanging about in PJs.

I am not making them food - there is a full fridge / cupboards etc with stuff they like but they will just wait for me to crack and make them something. Am going to try and ride it out but all my maternal instincts are heading for the pannini press.

Surely most teens can do a sandwich?????

Eldest 19 works 7 til 5.15pm 4 days a week during the holidays currently as he's getting full time hours. He sleeps sometimes til 11am on his days off but often up before this as he likes going off hill walking. 16yo is having issues with reduced appetite so needs to be up for breakfast so he doesn't feel sick. The issue was worse sleeping til 10am.

They are brought up not to waste the day away. They can lounge around playing X Box or use PCs in the afternoon however once showered and dressed.

If my eldest has had a tough time or unwell he can sleep as long as he wants. We aren't ogres! But in general it's not encouraged to be lazy layabouts.

For me it was that my Mam couldn't cope with cooking when anyone else was in the kitchen so we were all banished when she was cooking and she shut the door. I genuinely had NO idea how to do even the most basic meals or how a washing machine worked. I didn't go to uni but I did move out at 17 and it was incredibly hard to learn all these things on my own. I'm still not good at it 20 years later tbh. I have made sure my kids will never be in that situation and they can do all household tasks and can cook. It's so important to teach them these things.

Off topic but I am fascinated by what people think a teen should be able to cook.

I used to help with cooking as a young child.

I went to high school in the stone age and at a girls' school run by nuns. We had to do 'domestic science' for the first three years.

In first year (now year 7) I think we started off with buns or something simple like that but we then built on that.

By third year we were making complete meals, things like shepherds pie or other things made with mince. We did spend a lot of time cooking mince and then had a break to make Christmas cake.

We also did a lot of pastry making, different types of pastry.

Maybe that colours my judgement but I think an 11 year old should be able to do beans on toast or an omelette.

By 13/14 they should be able to make at least the main part of a meal if not a full meal.

Obviously not all children are the same I do think cooking is a skill everyone should acquire by late teens.

I also watch 'Junior Masterchef' and those kids cook amazing food.

Slightly off the point but my 14yos sent me a picture of their breakfasts this morning. (I work 10 mins down the road and also this is Switzerland, before anyone starts giving me grief about leaving them home alone, the kids here are feral by UK standards). I regularly go in in the evening and there is evidence of avocados having been mashed and matcha having been prepared. They're living their best lives and I love it, I'm enjoying the newfound freedom of not having to cook evey meal and clearly they are too.

@toomuchtooold off topic as I'm also in Switzerland (with my 10yo home alone cooking her own meals) but are you not supposed to leave teenagers in the UK nowadays? Surely nobody would think 14 is too young to be home alone?

DD is 12 and her routines all over the place with it being the holidays so I’ve stocked the fridge and freezer and she helps herself for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes it’s just cold stuff, other days she’ll cook up gyoza and ramen or chicken and rice or whatever but she’s perfectly capable of knowing when she’s hungry, how hungry she is and then making up a plate of food that meets that need.

I'd like to think most people wouldn't but you definitely get a lot of outliers on MN, who would think this was appalling.

It's pretty common to leave children on their own once they get to secondary school age.

Oh god I don't know, you're probably right, Ive just lost the thread of it since I moved abroad. I've definitely seen people on here worried about their 12 year old walking to school. And there was someone earlier ssying you need to plan activities with a 15 year old!

My HV asked me where my older kids were not long back. I told her admittedly they were still in bed. This was like 12 ish. She was thrilled. She said let them sleep, especially at this age as it's so important. Since then, I let them sleep in however long they like. And no you're not being unreasonable. As op said. Just get easy things in which are balanced and still fairly nutritious. Protein wraps.. Pittas.. Freezer bits. Xx