To not feed my children?

[DoggieNamechange]

They're 13 and 15. I work FT (largely from home) and do all housework and dog walking around that.

The past few weeks I've been getting them lunch when I break for mine but now they're getting up later and later. They've been up for an hour now and just hanging about in PJs.

I am not making them food - there is a full fridge / cupboards etc with stuff they like but they will just wait for me to crack and make them something. Am going to try and ride it out but all my maternal instincts are heading for the pannini press.

Surely most teens can do a sandwich?????

Christ my 4 year old can rustle up a ham sandwich (providing she can reach the ham) 🤣🤣
Of course they can make their own food.

The joy of puberty. Mine are 12 and 14, go to bed at 10.30 in the holidays and can still sleep in till lunch.

I made my own lunch every day from 7.5 years old, when my little brother was born. Of course they can make themselves some food.

My eldest is nearly 11 and loves to make her own simple things like French toast for breakfast. My middle boy is 8.5 and makes his own eggs too.

I find it works best if they know what ingredients are for them and they have an understanding of recipes first. I'm working toward all of them fixing their own breakfast when they go back to school as I'm sick of the mental load; doing everyone's tea every day is hard enough!

I can't believe it's taken you 13 and 15 years to teach them how to make a sandwich, has it genuinely never occured to you til now?

Also your later posts are saying they can make a sandwich yet an earlier post said you instructed your 13yo on how to make a sandwich 🤔

In our house breakfast and lunch have been self serve since age 13/14 and we all eat dinner together ( sharing the cooking between adults) and even when family visit it’s the same( unless I make a Sunday roast for lunch then the dinner is a sandwich self serve!) so you are definitely not unreasonable to let them make their own lunch at that age

YANBU. They are quite capable of finding food when they are hungry. At 13 and 15 I'd be expecting them to take responsibility for making a (simple) dinner for everyone too.

My 14yo makes lunch for himself and 2 x 7yo siblings while we work if lunchtimes don't align. He can start dinner if we are caught up in a crisis. He takes responsibility for dinner once a week. All 3 are expected to work together to complete chores throughout the day, nothing too taxing, hoovering, dishwasher, sweeping, dusting. As we all live here and everyone has to help.

This by no means works perfectly but a 13 and 15 are very capable of the same.

Do a sandwich course.
Then a rota.

Why wouldn’t they me something for her, ready for her ‘break’ that I bet involves housework and dog walking?

My grandchildren - at age 10 and 7 love making themselves breakfast or a sandwich. It makes them feel grown up.
Ask them to make you a sandwich and cup of tea to help out. See how that goes.

My kids made their own breakfasts and lunches. From the age of 5 or 6 . They always got up at the crack of dawn in the holidays. Term time was when they wanted to sleep late 🤣

cereal for breakfast. Sandwiches for lunch. They could also work the microwave. ..heat up some soup, which was always available. I’d make a fresh batch every 3 days or so. I was working when they got up, in the byres. So in shouting distance. They could make pancakes, scrambled eggs/ omelettes but usually didn’t bother. We had them cooking and baking with us from toddler age.

My grandson (16) makes his own lunch most days sometimes i drop in a salad or sandwich but usually its up to him to make, he will have pasta or a wrap most often. He also makes snacks for his two younger brothers.

I had a rude awakening when my kids were late primary school & I broke my leg. I realised how much I did for them when they couldn’t even make a slice of toast. I’ve spent subsequent years trying to teach them life skills but I’ve got one just about to move away to uni & I still can’t get him to do some basics

Lol I used to be a single mum and worked full time shifts so when mine was at home with me and not at the grandparents or nursery I was quite often still tired from work.

She learnt to make her own basic meals really early... even if it meant a big lump of cheese cut off unevenly from the block with a butter knife and slapped in between 2 bits of bread. She could also pour her own milk and cereal amongst other basic things.

She wanted to help (not so much now she is a teenager but hey ho she knows u know she can so she can't say she can't) and helped wash the dishes using her little stool to reach the sink and also helped me unload the washing machine.

I even had her own washing my car one time with a long pole and a bucket of soapy water for being cheeky to the brownie leader. Basically she had to help.. it was just the two of us and i was already run ragged.

Her proudest achievement was making her first sandwich by herself (actually for me on mother's day) and bringing it to me in bed. Its still the best breakfast in bed I ever had.

Of course i did anything which needed the oven or the stove.

As she got older she knew how many beeps (i.e 30 seconds) to put small things into the microwave for to heat up.

I believe that started off with microchips as we didn't have a cooker when we first moved when she was 5.

So all in all...I think its a good thing to teach your kid basic survival habits when they are young. They are more than capable and won't have to suddenly grow up and learn all these things in one fell swoop when they first move out.

I'm quite appalled. Surely they need to be having a normal sleep wake cycle, some physical activity, routines around mealtimes and some sort of stimulation in the day?

My 7 and 9 year old make their lunches I’m sure yours will be fine!

No i dont do lunch for any of my teens 12 and up.

Only meal I do is evening meal

At 10 years old my daughter could fix her own sandwich. Fruit and yogurt plate. By 15 she frequently made Sunday Lunch for her Dad and I too. Let them fend for themselves. They need to learn.

Nope, teens need a lot more sleep and often have a different natural rhythm than adults

Agree, all 3 of my boys were working holiday jobs at 15
lazy children is a Choice

Mine wants to be up early not to waste the day! Switched at birth is my conclusion. I slept in until neighbours started.

Sorry but to not ensure your children are fed nutritious food and are out of bed hours before 2pm is getting pretty close to neglect. Both are still children and under your care. They should be up and doing something with their day not in bed. And you are there to ensure they eat food not Nutella on pitta bread.

Not great parenting at all.

Agree with you, I feel the same.

Your 13 year old got up at 2ish?! 😬

Yes! Is this not normal???

Hell no!!!
Ds1 was BMXing from 09:00 at the skate park at that age.
Ds2 was on the moors on his mountain bike with his mates from10:30.

Imagine if you had to leave the house for work, what would they do then? Set the same expectations.

Is it a thing to let teenagers sleep in so late at these ages? At 13 I was up and out, it was only later on after late night's I would sleep in, but even then did manage to get to my weekend job age 17 and 18.

Wake them up, a 13 year old still needs some sort of sleep schedule! Still very young so just staying at home all day while you wfh must be frustrating unless gaming the whole time.