To not feed my children?

[DoggieNamechange]

They're 13 and 15. I work FT (largely from home) and do all housework and dog walking around that.

The past few weeks I've been getting them lunch when I break for mine but now they're getting up later and later. They've been up for an hour now and just hanging about in PJs.

I am not making them food - there is a full fridge / cupboards etc with stuff they like but they will just wait for me to crack and make them something. Am going to try and ride it out but all my maternal instincts are heading for the pannini press.

Surely most teens can do a sandwich?????

Indeed! I was shocked to read this, appalling! Xx

This! Maybe we're older but I agree, not about the Beethoven, but parents getting us up at weekends and in holidays. Looking back I appreciate it, laying in bed when young is such a waste of youth. Xx

I can’t get over the shock of some poster at the idea of teens being in bed till lunchtime.

My 16 year old has a body clock that wakes him at 7am daily which is a good thing because he’s working over the summer hols. But the 18 and 14 year old are rarely out of bed before 1. I give no shits about this fact. The 18 year old is moving out in a couple of weeks to start his apprenticeship and is definitely a fully functioning adult, he’s just enjoying his last weeks of freedom. The 14 year old, I don’t care because when he gets up if I’m wfh he makes me lunch when he makes his own 🤣. But seriously they have a whole lifetime ahead of alarms every damn day of the week. Nothing wrong with enjoying the freedoms that come with being a teen during the school holidays.

At their age they should be able to make their own breakfest and lunch and clean up after themselves. If I was making a sandwich and they are downstairs I would offer but if they are in bed then they can make their own when they get up.

a secondary-aged child should be okay to make themselves a simple meal

My 11 year old can use the breville to make toasties, kettle to make noodles, microwave to heat soup up, or make a wrap/sandwich by herself. At 13 and 15 they can absolutely sort their own lunches out!

My children were organising their own food for breakfast and lunch aged about 9-10 !

Hmm... I don't have any children, but I'll go off what I was doing when I was 13 to 15.

I WAS AT SCHOOL???!! Why aren't they??!

Has it changed THAT MUCH since the 90's that children and teenagers aren't going to SCHOOL anymore?!

Edit: When I WAS at home, I would make my own microwavable pizzas and or a cheese sandwhich!

They are old enough to get their own lunch, make you a cup of tea and walk the dog.

This can’t be real? My kids started making their own lunches when they were about ten. Both for school and when at home.

Because she is working all day and they are literally doing nothing. This could be our house! Guess what, turns out they can knock up a perfectly good tuna mayo pasta! Like me op is trying to raise functional adults. That's the long game. Your question should be: why aren't the lazy buggers making their hard working mum some lunch? Once they've finished their to-do list of hoovering etc. I gave mine a list of jobs with prices. Turns out they do know how to clean the bath. Who knew?!

Exactly, my teen insists on making me lunch if I'm working from home and he is about the house on holidays.

Just don't do it.
Alternatively, have lunch roster and all three of you can take it in turns to make lunch for everyone.

You aren’t raising children. You are raising adults. By teens, they should be able to make their own lunch, clean their rooms, wash their clothes, change their sheets. Boys and girls should know how to cook, mend, budget. Sleeping until 2:00 in the afternoon is the next thing I’d address, but I know you didn’t ask, so I’ll keep that to myself.

Yep, let them make their own lunches. If anything they should be making you something, bringing you a cuppa every now and then

maybe my expectations are a little high 😂

I WAS AT SCHOOL???!! Why aren't they??!

it's ...school holidays??

Surprise! Its summer break! 😜

🤨 it’s the summer holidays. No one is at school in England right now.

She really shouldn't be on Snapchat at 13yo. That's my helpful contribution to the thread. YANBU to not make them lunch. If you deem them old enough for Snapchat (absolutely ridiculous imo) then they're old enough to sort lunch.

It's only worth geting up if you have something to do with the time. And yes, of course there is any number of "improving" things they could be doing, but many won't be (how many adults ended up doing nothing much when on furlough during Covid?)

Lounging round the house is of not particular advantage to lounging in bed.

IME teens do get up if they have something planned. My DD was up at 2pm yesterday, but today she was up at 6am as she was working.

could you call them for lunch at 12.30? Seems a pretty reasonable time to get up. Then they’d have a proper lunch and start the day.

Mine are the same age as yours and have been making their own lunches since COVID. One just eats a tin of something eg mackerel. One makes a pasta sauce from scratch, sometimes handmakes the pasta too. Obviously the other will have some of that too if it looks tasty and the chef is obliging.

To be honest I’d be expecting them to make me lunch if I was working and they were on holiday. Daughter did this a couple of times a week and cooked family meal once a week whilst I was at a fitness class from about aged 13/14.
They need to develop some cooking skills ahead of leaving home.

Oh wind your neck in. It’s not “appalling” 🙄

A lot of trying to get teenagers to do housework stuff is a pain because they've no outside motivation and they're baseline kind of selfish, so it's more bother thsn it's worth. At least with food, hunger will eventually motivate them. You don't want to get in the way of that!