Ariana Grande

[ingonnabealright]

AIBU to think it’s a bit hypocritical that people are protecting her when she’s visibly unwell, saying that commenting on her body is wrong, but people take free reign to comment on plus size women’s bodies?!

I think most people know how dangerous AN is but I agree losing weight is often praised until we decide they've gone 'too far' and then we jusge them for 'not getting help'

Do you think making such comments online is going to help her?

Yes, it’s so hypocritical and extremely damaging. People need to stop commenting on other people’s bodies unless they happen to be the person’s doctor.

I agree. She was deeply distressed by the attack . Possibly PTSD.
Poor Ariana I hope she is being supported x

Anorexia kills. It isn’t a good thing to be too thin. It’s one of the worst mental illnesses there is and it crushes people. People glamorise the thinness but it is a heartbreaking and devastating illness. Taking a break is the best thing she can do- both to stop public speculation but I hope she is stopping so she can get treatment.

Her management have said that she's in peak physical condition as her job requires her to move every night. That doesn't sound like they're looking after her, it sounds like they're saying what she wants to hear.

I think that she's wonderful and I hope that she takes this time to get the help that she needs. I also hope that she has the right people around her.

I think a lot of people think it’s only dangerous when someone gets to the final stages as opposed to the impact of being underweight for years. It’s a bit like when people used to think you only were an alcoholic if you were homeless drinking in the park but that attitude has changed now.

I don't know the true situation with AG, obviously, but I have a friend who is a vocal advocate for healthy living, exercise, mental health and therapy. She has been like this for years. She has also had an ED for years, severe in the last decade (to the extent of several hospitalisations, and a 9 month section. She is still being treated by ED services). So the two things are not mutually exclusive.

I worked with someone who was frequently hospitalised for anorexia. This was in a fashion setting and the amount of admiration she got was utterly disturbing.

Being overweight isn’t an illness per se although it can have negative whereas anorexia has the highest death rate of all mental illness.

I think people are sympathetic as she is very clearly ill.

I agree. I think that may well play its part.

Well anyone can say anything they like about a celebrity. As long as they're not threatening them with violence or death.

Nobody is stopping you saying you think she's too thin. You can say you think someone else is too fat as well if you like. It doesn't make it true but you're welcome to have an opinion.

People compare anorexia to being overweight which isn’t the same thing at all.

Part of the problem is the messages from Ariana’s team that she is healthy, when I suppose there is a very small chance she is healthy it is extremely unlikely. Wicked is all about the stereotypes that beautiful =good, so Ariana’s character is held up as the epitome of beautiful - all while she looks underweight.

A very quick search online and you can find loads of pages telling you how to eat, exercise and lose weight like Ariana.

I hope the time away gives her time to heal, mentally and physically and she is given the space she needs.

I think partly it's because this kind of ED makes people appear childlike and helpless, it triggers feelings of wanting or needing to care for them. Often those with ED like this seem to lean into that dynamic of wanting and needing to be cared for, of being weak, frail, unstable. Fat feels different and stronger somehow

I think if we are thin we see the thin criticism more , if we are fat we see the fat criticism more. Thread on here a while ago, curvy was the word used to describe overweight and then the language around being thin was flat, not womanly etc. In my mind it seems that’s more acceptable but I will think that because I am thin and if I dare to say something I’ll be told you are thin you are the ideal you can’t complain. I think though op it’s off to use her illness as yet another fat v thin bashing thread. There are ill people on both sides of the equation.

YABU.

lots to unpack here. Firstly Ariana has struggled with eating disorders in the past so it is not a stretch to suggest she is struggling again. Her ed is well documented. The issues around commenting on thin and fat women are interesting - thin women are still prioritised in society so negative comments don’t hold as much weight (no pun intended!) as they do with bigger women. Fatness is demonised, othered, criticised, lots of negative connotations as mentioned upthread; lazy, undesirable, greedy. Fatness shaming or body comments directed at fat women hold more power as society systematically hurts fat individuals. The insults are backed up by institutional power which is different from saying eat a burger as that thin individual will still see themselves represented everywhere, idolised, sexualised, in media, fashion etc.

I find it horrible that’s so many people are commenting on a woman’s appearance. I’ve been a consultant psychiatrist for 30 years and have never made a diagnosis online, without knowing the case. Maybe she has anorexia, maybe she hasn’t. Maybe she has got some other physical illness that has led to significant weight loss. Where has it been said that she has definitely got anorexia?

I suspect those of us that don’t constantly comment on strangers’ low weight also don’t comment on their increased weight.

Ariana has been viability declining for several years, and the latest music video was the final straw for a lot of people. This is the person who had a tumblr account for many years, where she would regularly engage in body checking behaviour (posing in a guitar case to show how tiny she was), and post very disordered thoughts (she once had a bowl of peas as 'dinner').
She's also been caught eating meat, despite allegedly being a vegan. Veganism can sometimes be used a cover for disordered eating, which is why many eating disorder clinics will not cater for a vegan diet (with some exceptions).
People comparing this to the Chadwick Boseman situation are missing the fact that this has been going on for years, there are pictures of her having gum and black coffee backstage before shows rather than actual food.
This is a woman who has predominantly young girls as her core audience, it's outrageously irresponsible for her team to allow her to tour and film music videos in this physical state.

and loads of people rightly comment saying you shouldn’t body shame people. People also make awful comments about Ariana Grande and people rightly comment that you shouldn’t body shame her too.

Loads of people are dickheads and comment about people’s body size, large or small but there are many who counter it.

I think this is a fair representation of attitudes I have witnessed - especially on these threads, but more generally too.

I used to be borderline underweight/underweight and actually I received more than sympathy: in some quarters it was reverence.

It's pretty screwed up.

No-one except a person's closest circle should comment on weight. There are too many complicated emotions around it in both directions.

They also might be saying that because Ariana doesn’t want her private medical diagnoses made public.

Put it this way- I have experience of both of my parents at opposite ends of the scale.

My dad - 81 obese. No doubt the weight affects his joints but bizarrely if you look at the cardiac risk scores, by the time you get to his age, a weight loss of two stone wouldn’t affect his risk by much at all as age becomes the bigger factor.

mum- sudden extreme anorexia caused big health problems very quickly. Tube feeding under section and permanent feeding peg. Basically grim. I suspect her weight was higher than Ariana’s at the point she started becoming very poorly.

another relative- more classic anorexia over years and years. Generally just ate enough to avoid inpatient treatment, pushed it a bit too far, got an infection and died regretting it.

I’d 100% take being overweight over being underweight.

So many people just cannot see this.

I have lost friends to anorexia.

I am sorry about your mum.