Middle finger

[naturetrail]

Dd2 1st birthday little family tea party today. Dd1 15 moans she doesn't like her photo being taken. I respect her privacy and NEVER post her photo anywhere but I do take photos of all my kids for memories. Today I've taken photos of everyone throughout the afternoon. When I've sat just now and looked through my camera roll dd1 has done a sly Middle finger in every single photo that has her in. Ones with her and ds and dd2, grandad, aunties, uncles etc. I'm absolutely fuming that she's spoiled every photo.
I spoke to her and said I can't believe you've done that and that I'm really cross she's spoiled the photos. She said oh mum I've told you i don't like having my photo taken and then she's flounced off because I'm being ridiculous in her eyes.
Am i totally out of order on this? I take the photos as memories and photos are so important to me. All my childhood photos were destroyed which dd1 knows really upset me, so capturing memories feels ultra important to me and maybe thats making me over react and i should just laugh this off?

She is rude. I'd be saving them to show her when she's 30 - how she behaved at her baby sister's 1st birthday party! Do you know of any apps or perhaps someone you know can edit perhaps a couple of the photos for you to keep.

Sounds like she's at that selfish 'all about me; stage of teenagedom. Obviously it wasn't about her at all. Perhaps she was feeling a bit jealous of the attention not being on her? No excuses though. A suitable punishment is in order and a chat once things have calmed down. She may be embarrassed herself when you show her the photos of her with her Grandparents. I'd be wondering out loud to her 'I wonder what Granny and Grandad will think of this photo?'

I couldn't get worked up over this. They are still photos and still memories and you should all be able to laugh about it

God I wish I'd thought of that as a teen/young adult.

She's explicitly told you she doesn't like or want to have her photo taken, and her wishes should be considered above your desire to capture every occasion in photos.

Edit the photos, but save the originals to shame her when she comes out of her obnoxious teenage phase.

We would laugh about it. It's not that big a deal and you should respect that she doesn't want her photo taken.

Why were you taking photos of someone who had explicitly told you not to?

Stop taking her photo when she’s asked you not to? Doesn’t matter that you’re not going to post them anywhere, she’s allowed to have that boundary. YABU.

Sorry but it’s not on to take her photo if she doesn’t want you to. At her age she’s entitled to say she doesn’t consent.

If my parents had forced me to have my photo taken at that age I would have done the same - except there wasn’t digital photography so they would have had to wait until the pics came back from the developer.

Because the OP wants to create some memories, esp having no trace of herself as a child.
DD is a brat
As for her ‘boundaries’ - ffs
edited to remove spoilt as this suggests it’s the OP’s fault

Why did you explicitly ignore her wishes?

This. Your feelings around photos doesn’t trump her perfectly valid request not to be in them

Just photo edit them out or hide her middle finger with an emoji. Don't let her rule the roost.

Why do OP's wants trump her daughters?

No she isn't. She shouldn't have to pose for photos if she doesn't want to.

Well it’s rude but it’s also quite funny. I couldn’t get too overexcited about this

Also, you wanted to capture memories and that's what you've got. It's the reality of your event and the memory of making your daughter feel uncomfortable instead of a fake, stage managed photo.

I'm glad my best friend didn't. It wouldn't have cheered her parents up mucg when trying to find a photo for her funeral the following July.

Sorry but I think you’ll all have a good laugh about this in a few years. Please keep them! You still have memories - very real ones!

What happened with your childhood ones?

If you want to hang them up / share with family then get AI to erase the middle finger.

Keep the originals to throw back in her face when she has her own DCs and you can tell them what a madam their mum was.

She is rude, but also a teenager. It is what it is.

She doesn’t like having her picture taken and that’s her right. Why didn’t you just ask her to move out of shot?

Memories? You don’t need a fucking photo to create memories. How instagram. Memories are about the doing, the living, not a still taken in a moment. Sure it’s nice to have but they are not the be all and end all and respecting the DD is far more important.

We would still laugh about it years later.

Why do brattish daughter’s wants trump her mother’s.
DD will probably regret this one day but can’t see why at the moment

I doubt she will regret it. Her mum probably will though for forcing her DD to pose for 'the memories'