I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

I’m guessing there are a fair few photo posers responding to this thread.

She’s not on the phone the whole 24 hours of the day!!!!! It’s her nice thing so people can say ‘ooh you’re living your best life’ and for those few minutes she totally is!! Doesn’t mean she’s not having fun with the kids at different times and living her best life with them too (after living her worst life when they’re too hot, fighting, moshing, unappreciative etc). Whatever gets people through!

I agree! Imagine a world without social media! most of the touristy places would be half as busy as people like this dont care where they are, they just want to show off to others

Show her your post, or stop looking at her social media that will solve your problem.

Actually this is an ageist generalisation just like the insults to boomers and grannies.

I agree its very vacuous and self indulgent.

10 years + ago if someone did these sort of poses and posted the pics, the jokes and piss taking would make sure they never did it again. It seems so accepted now, and I hate it. I think they're all narcissistic or in love with themselves.

I’ve replied to say the OP is being sneery and judgemental. I say this as a woman who hates being photographed and tries to slink to the back as much as possible or be the one to take the picture.

I hate it almost as much as I hate people judging and sneering at other women who aren’t actually affecting them in any way.

Is that happening here?

It’s irritating but be glad you haven’t got more serious problems with her to worry about. You’re right, it’s trivial, it’s none of your business and if you comment, even as a joke it won’t be long before you don’t get on at all.

"My son and his family went no contact with me out of nowhere"

I understand finding it a bit cringe but it's really none of your business in my opinion. What happened to autonomy?

If this is your biggest issue with DIL I'd consider yourself very lucky!

I hate it almost as much as I hate people judging and sneering at other women who aren’t actually affecting them in any way

The OP venting on here isn’t affecting anybody in any way.

Yet here she is, being judged for being judgy.

yabu :( it's very sad that you have this much hate in your heart and i feel bad for your daughter in law. i'd be so sad if my mother in law posted somethig like this, you are not a nice person

You see modern families are complicated, I've only been in the family for 10 years, I have absolutely no skin in the game with "not good enough for my boy" .

And I don't even mind wanting photos to look nice, I own my fair share of awkward family snaps, I don't follow her insta, I don't need hot hair tips, but these are on the family Facebook.If I blocked her we wouldn't see all the normal stuff.

So here we are, I'm either a bitch or a doormat, shouldn't care as the kids aren't blood, should care as the kids think I am, who never ever says well in my day... But is supportive. Yahdy yahdy dah.

I'll still sware ,quite loudly, when another glamour shot pops up.

Yeah, pretty much!! This is my personal experience, is that ok with you ?

The time it takes is a distraction from your kids and family.
It’s teaching your kids that aesthetics are more important than being in the moment.
It indicates you are ‘curating’ your life, online or otherwise, rather than living it.
The list goes on…

I don't really get the issue with her posing for photos while her husband entertains the children? I don't really understand why other women get so wound up by this sort of behaviour tbh, its the same as women who bitch about fillers or short skirts. If your confident in yourself I dont see why someone else's appearance bothers you

People never used to do this sure (although I would argue women have always posed for photos), but many women have hated every picture of them ever taken or refuse to have their photo taken, my MIL wont look at photos of herself. Let's not pretend women have been happily taking candid photos for generations

Oh and I'm not nice, I have no truck with nice, the trouble I have had with people who think they are nice is a whole nother matter.

I am normal flawed human, of that I am very aware.

You need to take this as a cancer of today’s society, rather than a personal failing on the part of your daughter in law. She is just acting the way society shows her to. And do not say anything. Society is a shit place these days.

OP - when they're not on holiday - has she asked you to have the kids since the first day of the holiday?

She's 40, not my daughter, my step son, he's in the pictures making sandcastles, swimming in the sea with the kids, etc etc.

Does she ever play with the DCs or is is all posing for photos with her pinkie in the air? Because if it's the latter and he does all the playing, imagine the reverse post. Female OP complains that her SIL spends all his time posing for photos to show off his six pack and leaves her daughter to do all the childcare he'd be slaughtered on here. Nobody would be levelling these accusations at the OP.

Given that the DIL was saying she couldn't cope on the first day of the school holidays I suspect I know the answer to the question I've just asked about her playing with the DCs.

OP says the children are playing with their father, children don't need their mothers attention 24/7. Do women have to devote their every second to their family?

Yeah I'm confused too and curious as to what the little cocked over the straw pose is. I haven't seen this, but then I'm not on Insta!

One of my much younger than me cousins does this. To be fair, she’s a very involved mum, but the amount of posed photos of her and the dc on Insta is just bonkers. I think there’s one picture of me on Insta but only because I was at a wedding and thought I looked decent.

Why do you care how she poses for photos ffs. Maybe she’s a bit shallow but you don’t need to get worked up about it.

Exactly this.