I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

I think YABU about the posing so have voted that way as that’s your thread title. It might be annoying but it’s up to her if she wants to do that.

YANBU about her ringing you to have the kids though - it’s not your job, ultimately!

This. Token terrible mother in law post. Leave her alone she’s not harming you. Don’t want to have the kids you’re free to say no.

Its the disparity between the perfect Ista-shot and the reality of binning the kids off on day 1 of the holidays.
Its all false.Illusion. Pretence.
Bit like the Beckhams I guess.

I feel your pain. She sounds ghastly and self absorbed. Maybe she should do some parenting instead 🤷‍♀️

Maybe your stepson is failing to ensure she knows she’s still gorgeous as she enters her forties. Perhaps she feels insecure and the chain of selfies are about her reassuring herself.

As for asking for your help - in my book, you are lucky. Many of us grannies would love to be able to spend more time with their precious grandchildren but geography stands in the way.
.

I think you might need to grow up and learn to now generalise a whole generation.

Its quite sad that that’s how you spend your energy.

So tell her how lovely she looks when she is playing happily with her children, or has put on a nice dress to come over for tea etc.

Just because she poses for photos, doesn’t mean she isn’t playing with her kids.

If you think she needs to spend more time with them, say no when she asks you to have them.

No more childcare requests would be a fantastic outcome. IMO

This

Quite it could also be confused with jealously that her dil is younger and has a nice cleavage to show off.

I voted yabu as it seems harmless. What’s wrong with her posing for pictures ? I wish I had the confidence to do it too to be honest! It doesn’t make her a bad mother, where is the stepson on all this ? Why is she struggling with the kids ? Maybe think like that instead of picking on her.

But she's not saying Im a wonderful mum with her photo is she? Op says her children are playing with dad in the photos

We all know she doesn't walk around with a cocktail in hand and her arse sticking out, we all know that's a pose. There's no pretence there

What the fuck is this comment? Do you think there’s any overlap between posing for a photo on a family holiday and physically and emotionally abusing and starving your children?

You could just try not looking at her photos?

She's an irritation airhead, like thousands of others. My sil does the shot from the back looking over her shoulder at her bikini thong with a leg in the air shit.

hate it

I just make sure to only comment on the nice ones in the shared pics "oh looks fabulous, love the gorgeous natural shots of Dave playing with the kids and having fun. "

Literally all you know about this woman is that she poses for photos, whilst the children and with their dad, and she struggled to cope one day in the school holidays.

You knowabsolutrely nothing about her day to day parenting, nothing about her personality or interests. You just assume she has none because a woman poses for photos. It's wild to call a woman ghastly based on 2 fairly minor facts

Why follow her on sm of that's your attitude towards her.? Ofc
Course don't be an idiot and be rude to her

It's not just 'the young people' it's everyone. Every occasion, every night out, days out, as soon as a phone comes out people pose.
I don't and therefore end up looking shit! I need to practice.

Is the leg kick a thing, I didn't know that, I thought it would be too outing to say.

Well you learn something new every day

Well....its exactly what Ruby Franke did....

How is she in general? Does she work? Look after the kids? So what if she wants to look nice in a photo. I'm 43 and don't have a body that gives itself to posing sexily while my husband builds sand castles with the kids but i still like nice family holiday pics sometimes selfie style with kids behind me. Not posed as I'm hopeless at posing but what's she down wrong where?

Try and look at it another way. She’s not seeing her children as accessories, she’s posing in this way because she is insecure. She is frightened to look ugly or unattractive and doesn’t want to cry when she sees her lovely family holiday photos but looks crap in them.

She’s been brought up in a very different world from you and this is her coping mechanism. It’s not hurting anyone it’s just annoying. And every mum is allowed to have a wobble where she can’t deal with her kids once in a while - how lovely she knew she could call you for help.

How old are you?

You don't think the obsession with posting pictures of oneself on Instagram and social media is harmful? It's harmful to an entire generation of girls who define their self worth by their looks more acutely than ever before, and who spend an excessive amount of time from a depressingly young age taking photos of themselves rather than anything else because they are copying their friends / mothers / influencers. My 12yo doesn't even have a smartphone and is still learning this from friends.