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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

325 replies

woopdedoodle · 31/07/2026 09:55

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

OP posts:
fishbowlee · 31/07/2026 09:57

Is she very young? Some of my cousins do this but they are young so i get it & I’ve assumed they will grow out of it.

harriethoyle · 31/07/2026 09:59

The posing is SO irritating and so fake! All they end up with is a zillion photos which look the same as all of their mates...

AutisticMumOf2 · 31/07/2026 09:59

just stop having the kids, then she doesn’t have time to pose for photos like that.

Weeellokthen · 31/07/2026 10:00

😂np but you have to realise that this is the yung uns identity, these days. It's, all about "the gram', it's just what they have become.
A bit sad, harmless but sad 😄

Crushed23 · 31/07/2026 10:01

fishbowlee · 31/07/2026 09:57

Is she very young? Some of my cousins do this but they are young so i get it & I’ve assumed they will grow out of it.

Can’t be that young if she’s a mother to school age children?

Pootles34 · 31/07/2026 10:02

Weeellokthen · 31/07/2026 10:00

😂np but you have to realise that this is the yung uns identity, these days. It's, all about "the gram', it's just what they have become.
A bit sad, harmless but sad 😄

What a load of shite. Please please can we stop assuming all people of the same age are the same? It's really boring.

Potooooooooes · 31/07/2026 10:02

Do tell her, then she'll not bother you again with childcare requests.

Crushed23 · 31/07/2026 10:02

AutisticMumOf2 · 31/07/2026 09:59

just stop having the kids, then she doesn’t have time to pose for photos like that.

The obvious solution. Stop being a doormat, OP. Enjoy your summer - don’t just become their unpaid nanny.

Swiftie1878 · 31/07/2026 10:04

Weeellokthen · 31/07/2026 10:00

😂np but you have to realise that this is the yung uns identity, these days. It's, all about "the gram', it's just what they have become.
A bit sad, harmless but sad 😄

It’s not all of them, and it isn’t harmless.

DysmalRadius · 31/07/2026 10:05

It sounds like she lacks confidence in her looks and her parenting skills. Where is your son in all this?

Stoflinewer · 31/07/2026 10:05

Get it completely , just back from
hHolidays - so many times I watched some poor little kid be asked to take very staged photos of their mothers trying to look sexy . I took pictures of my kids having fun - not sure when it changed

Harddaysnight1 · 31/07/2026 10:05

Pootles34 · 31/07/2026 10:02

What a load of shite. Please please can we stop assuming all people of the same age are the same? It's really boring.

I agree. I have a relative like this and she’s 40! We go on amazing holidays and she only gets excited about posing for pictures. Once she’s finished taking pictures she looks completely bored and just wants to look at the pictures of herself with a landmark when the real thing is in front of her! It’s utter insanity!

dudsville · 31/07/2026 10:06

The posing is just what a lot of young folks are doing now. I watched some of the last Olympics last time, and so many of the young things did tik tok poses when being introduced. I found it really cringe worthy, but soon realised it's what they do now.

Overtheatlantic · 31/07/2026 10:06

She thinks it makes her look cute/beautiful and lacks the self-awareness to know she looks like an idiot. I’d call her out in a befuddled way; “Oh my, did you break your finger dear? I’d put a splint on that before it gets stiff.”

user1471538275 · 31/07/2026 10:07

YABU but you know it.

I would find it equally scream worthy - and like you I would suck it up and focus on the kids.

cupfinalchaos · 31/07/2026 10:08

Potooooooooes · 31/07/2026 10:02

Do tell her, then she'll not bother you again with childcare requests.

Oh get over yourself! Op knows she’s being unreasonable just fancied a vent and who can blame her? It’s irritating.

JMSA · 31/07/2026 10:08

Let’s unpick this a bit, before annihilating the poor woman.
What drove her to contact you on day 1 of the holidays? What was going on for her? Where is your son in all of this?
You seem to want to paint a picture of a poor, lazy mother who’s vacuous and cares only about Insta-worthy photos. Who says she can’t do that AND have fun with her kids. Maybe she is unhappy, who knows.
God forbid anyone should depict you as a judgemental mother-in-law.

Kingdomofsleep · 31/07/2026 10:09

Where are you seeing these photos?

If she's texting them to you - I agree, annoying, just do a thumbs up and delete it

If you're seeing them on insta/Facebook, well the obvious solution is, just don't. You're not the intended audience so don't bother following her

JacknDiane · 31/07/2026 10:12

She sounds mega annoying, id be putting the answer machine on.

Marroon · 31/07/2026 10:12

Why do so many MIL’s love to be so disparaging about the woman their son chose?
You can ridicule her all you want and make yourself feel superior but the man you raised picked this woman so that says something in itself.

Fortnightly · 31/07/2026 10:13

I get it! I get infuriated seeing the same FB friend posing with one leg in front on tip toes in every single photo - she looks ridiculous! This girl is late 40s! Another always has next to no clothes on, posing for the camera - we get it, you love your body, you think you’re a stunner, now put it away!

Weeellokthen · 31/07/2026 10:13

Swiftie1878 · 31/07/2026 10:04

It’s not all of them, and it isn’t harmless.

No, you are correct, it is not all of them.
Why is posing in a photo harmful though?

Velvera · 31/07/2026 10:14

Stop looking at her Instagram then.

Weeellokthen · 31/07/2026 10:16

Pootles34 · 31/07/2026 10:02

What a load of shite. Please please can we stop assuming all people of the same age are the same? It's really boring.

Hows it a load of shite? All the younger ones in my work, live their lives like this. My dc, on the other hand, do not.

Gamerlady · 31/07/2026 10:16

I find it a bit cringe if honest, put the phone down and enjoy the holiday instead of staring at a screen .