AIBU to feel put out being asked to bring dessert and ice?

[Bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox39]

I will probably get told I’m being unreasonable here but I’m ready if that’s the case 😂 my friend has invited me and my two kids to stay over for the night, it’s been planned for ages, and ahead of next week I’ve been asked to pick up dessert and ice because she doesn’t know what to get the kids for pudding… it’s lovely that she’s having us, but if I were hosting I’d provide food and drinks, not because I have loads of money or anything but I just feel like that’s what you do when friends come over. I would always bring a bottle over to the hosts house whenever I go somewhere, and so maybe this is the equivalent but I don’t know, something about this is making me annoyed and I’m not sure why!

Love language 🙄

Don't 'darling' me.

Read your wording back and then consider how condescending it looks to single people.

Don’t assume you know things!

I'm not assuming. I'm telling you it was a condescending tone.

And I’m telling you that I don’t have space to have someone stay, so it’s hardly condescending!

Yesterday 21:07
Do you have her round yours? Does she have kids? When they come - her and her kids - do you provide it all?
Always round at mine! And no kids. I haven’t had invited her to stay because I don’t have a spare room. I provide it all, yes.

If she's always round at yours, how come she doesn't know what pudding your DC will eat? She doesn't sound very observant.
And I don't understand the concept of "I don't know what they'll eat - you bring it". A good hostess would say "I don't know what they'll eat - can I have some ideas, please".

You didn't answer my question of what does she bring when she is the guest.

Maybe she's being a tad condescending because she's already answered the question. Maybe you should have RTFT before piling in.

The tone of writing was condescending not the action.

And maybe you don't need to pile in.

Imagine hosting and not having a fiver for a dessert.

We regularly do that in my family. When someone hosts, some one else will bring the pudding. When we went to SIL and BILs, I made pudding. My MIL always brings one to ours. I thought it was standard!

It’s an expression that immediately makes me want to vomit.

I’m so baffled by this. I can’t ever imagine being annoyed that a friend, and actual friend, asked me to bring some dessert to her house for my kids. Weird.

Surely you always take a gift if you are invited for dinner and to stay over, a bottle of wine chocolates or flowers or a combination? Saying they don't know what your kids would like for pudding is sensible kids can be faddy, it's not a big deal to take something are they doing an adult dessert for adults. Why ice? Don't they have a freezer?

You should have offered to bring something before you were asked.

and now you’ve been asked of course you being it, and check to see if she needs anything else.

Its just good manners.

It’s pretty standard to offer to take a pudding or a chess board, I always have a lovely selection of cheese in the fridge and would usually arrange a cheese platter, special Chutney or a chilli jam and sour dough crackers.

She doesnt want wine, she wants a dessert your children and hers will enjoy.

She hasnt asked for 16 items just pick up the triffle

If they will be drinking wine, which would be likely , then the op should bring some, as well as dessert and ice,

PMSL 😂

I agree.

Tbh i would just get some anyway. My point was simply if you were going to take something anyway whats the issue with that something being dessert

Maybe she isn’t sure what dessert your children prefer and wants to make sure there’s something they like…….and perhaps she’s planning on cocktails for the adults, hence the ice……or does she mean ice cream??

It is a reasonable request. You get to choose a sweets that your kids will eat. Probably they will eat most of it, actually.
Asking you to pick up ice is very sensible as you are in car driving past ice.

You're giving selfish freeloader OP and it ain't pretty.

If not the dessert I would buy chocolates or flowers. Far better to provide what is required. I would much prefer direction.

Christ on a bike, love language

Innit

Always round at mine! And no kids. I haven’t had invited her to stay because I don’t have a spare room. I provide it all, yes

Before I had children I wouldn't have known what they might like for pudding or indeed what you would prefer them to have. I'd probably ask this too.