Hand hold needed - away with cheating DH

[Kelkell]

Changed name as a regular poster and don’t want to out myself.

I’m away with DH and our two DC currently, we have had a few rows in recent months and haven’t been intimate for a while either.

I have spent the first few days of the holiday (we’re here for 10 days) running around after the kids, co-ordinating the on site clubs and basically not relaxing. DH has spent most of his days led pool side with his headphones in and a drink.

He has been on his phone a lot more than on recent holidays. So when he was in the shower last night, I looked at it because I was suspicious.

There are numerous messages between him and another woman. Time stamps when he would have been pool side. One really hurtful one said he has a ‘beer and the sun, I just wish you were here too so I could see your milk tankers in a bikini’. She’s equally flirting back, it made me feel sick reading.

I managed to bring this up without the kids present, he said what do I expect when I won’t go near him anymore. Just really cold. He’s doing his own thing today, and I don’t know how I’ll get through the rest of the holiday 😥

He says it’s no one either of us know and it’s ’just some company for the week’.

They were messages on WhatsApp not through any website or onlyfans.

If it's on WhatsApp then either he does know her, or it started before you knew about it through some other SM. I know I'm naive but surely no woman gives personal details to go on to WhatsApp on a few days contact with a stranger?

If he is dissatisfied with the relationship then the appropriate course of action is to either seek to resolve or leave, not to cheat and be vile. No one is ever under any obligation to be intimate with anyone.

I’m really sorry that you are going through this. Look forward, keep calm, you will get through this.

It would be a shame if his passport got lost before the flight home..

Milk tankers?? I think I just cringed my vagina inside out 😳

That revolting MN phrase "seal my vagina shut" is almost as bad a milk tankers FFS!

Are you human?

There are so many reasons people aren't intimate.

A lack of intimacy doesn't make it ok to seek it elsewhere. If its a shag he is after then he needs to leave his marriage.

With his comment on milk tankers he doesn't sound much of a catch.

‘Milk tankers’ 🤢🤮

This! JFC

Sorry to ask but what is actually wrong with you to make you reply in this vein???

I don't know how he has even got 2 women interested in him "milk tankers" WTF - He has no respect for you or his children disgusting POS

Obviously I must have missed the part of the post where OP has him held hostage and he was unable to leave the relationship if he was unhappy 🙄

Vomit. I would be out of there. Couldnt be within a mile of a man who says milk tankers. Whatever kind of woman would be turned on by that. " wish you were here love. Cant wait to squeeze your exploding udders.... phwoar"

Can you leave him with the kids and come home?

"What do you expect?". Really? I'd hit him with what he doesn't expect (divorce papers as soon as you can) and then you can say it back to him "what do you expect after you've been cheating?".

I mean you posted befure the OP answered that question.
But just as guess, if you have been unpleasant to your wife and have rows, why would you expect sex?
Not wanting to be intimate is never a woman only responsibility (or fault).
And women are not here to provide sex so that a man stays. That’s the worst approach to a marriage ever.

milk tankers? Urrgh. It's a miracle to me that some men manage to have affairs at all.

Regardless of the cheating; Milk tankers would do it for me anyway.

I think it means it's all online, he hasn't met her IRL.

Regardless of anything else, any man who uses the term ‘milk tankers’ deserves everything he gets. Fly home and get a good divorce lawyer.

Men like this will say that to scare you. There’s been women on places like TikTok who have called their bluff. Said “okay”. You have them full time, I’ll be a weekend mum and pay you maintenance . You wont be paying loads as they take account of your income.

Hell soon find it cheaper to give you money and less stress to let you have the kids. He’s using the kids to upset you. You need to just play along. The more you play along and say things like “ it will be nice to have the week to myself and not worry about doing the school stuff etc “, the quicker he’ll hand them bqck1 if he even gets that far.

"Milk tankers" and she responded positively?!?

Omfg let her have him.one day the worst thing hes ever done will be the best thing to have happened to you

The company for the week would be a flag alone.

Why does he need this woman to talk to just for this week?

Who is at home that he normally gets his ego strokes from and possibly other strokes. A paid for service or a woman he doesn’t want you to actually find out about.

Milk tankers is gross.

So wait, you don’t want to sleep with him because he’s let his appearance deteriorate but somehow, him flirting with another woman is your fault? My word, that’s some pretty fancy gaslighting!

“I’m not saying this is entirely your fault…”

Well that’s good of you @Nocommentisacomment!

Silly @Kelkell for not meeting your husbands needs when you’re running yourself into the ground with the kids and he’s sat doing fuck all! Poor baby needs some company this week!!