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AIBU?

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Original poster

For not attending a friends wedding

220 replies

OonaghBhuna · 26/06/2008 17:09

An old friend of mine is getting married tomorrow.On Wednesday night I went over to their house with my present for them. Almost as soon as I had got home they phoned to say that they thought the present was awful and could i come back to collect it because they didnt like it at all.
They said ' we dont do ornaments and did you not know that we want vouchers'
So like a mug I went around and felt utterly humiliated and upset.
They were so rude and disrespectful to us that I cant bring myself to go.I am angry aswell as upset. I dont want to celebrate their maariage as I feel our friendship is over, I am shocked that I dont really know them at all......

OP posts:
littlelapin · 27/06/2008 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/06/2008 09:15

What, the real Caligula? Yes, he was.

As for the Caligula on MN - erm, well, she said she was a she, but you just never can tell can you?

handlemecarefully · 28/06/2008 23:34

The MN Caligula was real quality....

snice · 29/06/2008 15:37

Can't wait for an update on this wedding-get on line OP

mumeeee · 29/06/2008 18:39

YANBU. It is very rude to complain about a Wedding present and completly unaccaptable to ask you to go and collect it.

squeaver · 29/06/2008 20:15

Was just thinking about this while on the other wedding thread.

How was it , Oonagh???

desperatehousewifetoo · 29/06/2008 21:02

You should save the gift to give their pfb. They couldn't return it twice

Hope you did enjoy the wedding though

sheepgomeep · 29/06/2008 21:37

what happened to the mn caligula? Is she still around?

Original poster
OonaghBhuna · 29/06/2008 21:40

Hello,
Sorry it has taken so long to update but had other family committments and havent been near a computer all weekend!
Anyway, I was quite nervous about going but the day was actually ok. I didnt have much contact with the bride or the groom. The bride doesnt know about the conversation I had with her new DH. He said that he would tell her after the wedding. She did seem more relaxed on the day.She did not exhibit any bridezilla behaviour either......

It was great to catch up with old friends so I am glad about that, we danced alot to wonderful 80s music which was really good fun.

So I am just glad its all over. We are not going to get the happy couple a present or vouchers.And we wont be in contact with them much either. We still feel hurt by their behaviour, they shone in their true colours.I am the type of person to be grateful for anything anyone gives me.

Thank you again for all of your support and humour. Lots of love to you all xxx

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/06/2008 21:43

I'm glad you were able to salvage at least something out of this dreadful experience, OB.

Original poster
OonaghBhuna · 29/06/2008 21:44

I think seeing old friends, having a good old dance, a few laughs and a few drinks really helped

OP posts:
MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 29/06/2008 22:00

lololololol

I've just seen the fox!

Good on you Oonagh - you're able to hold your head high whereas Mr & Mrs PickyPresents should be ashamed of themselves.

squeaver · 29/06/2008 22:03

Well done Oonagh! And thanks for starting one of the most entertaining threads of the last few days (even if it did start in horrible circumstances!)

thumbwitch · 29/06/2008 22:43

I'm so glad you managed to get some fun out of this situation, and that you didn't get the miserable ungrateful pair anything else (tho' the fox would have been funny ). Let's hope they regret their rudeness more when they realise how much damage they did to a longterm friendship.

hatwoman · 30/06/2008 09:53

having posted above that I would have to write and explain I think that not replacing the present and not getting in touch (but going to the wedding) is actually a perfectly decorous and subtle way of dealing with it. They will be left in the sure knowledge that bad behaviour does not get you better presents. It's like when you calmly hand choices over to children, you know - the shrug of the shoulders type "you can take half an hour to tidy your room if you want but there won't be time for a bed-time story" : "you can reject my present if you want, I'll happily take it back, but I won;t be getting you another"

If you really want to deliver a coup-de-grace of perfectly mannered upper-handedness you could write a thank you letter for the wedding . Go on.

Dragonbutter · 30/06/2008 16:27

oh, hatwoman, that's a fantastic idea.

Flier · 30/06/2008 16:39

a thank you letter for the wedding is a fantastic idea.

fruitstick · 30/06/2008 17:04

Oona, you are a far far better woman than me. I would have sent and absent friends telegram for the best man to read out and insisted he hand them the ornament during the speeches by way of apology.

but well done for taking the high moral ground. You can be safe in the knowledge that you have behaved impeccably and I'm sure they will be mortified for years to come at just how hideously they have behaved.

And I agree, a thank you letter would seem the appropriate thing to do.

Now where can I get pne of those foxes...................

amidaiwish · 30/06/2008 17:15

we should do a mn whipround
get the fox
send it to them with a print-out of this thread

cocolepew · 30/06/2008 17:20

Glad you had a good time, I was wondering about you on Saturday!

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