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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not attending a friends wedding

220 replies

OonaghBhuna · 26/06/2008 17:09

An old friend of mine is getting married tomorrow.On Wednesday night I went over to their house with my present for them. Almost as soon as I had got home they phoned to say that they thought the present was awful and could i come back to collect it because they didnt like it at all.
They said ' we dont do ornaments and did you not know that we want vouchers'
So like a mug I went around and felt utterly humiliated and upset.
They were so rude and disrespectful to us that I cant bring myself to go.I am angry aswell as upset. I dont want to celebrate their maariage as I feel our friendship is over, I am shocked that I dont really know them at all......

OP posts:
minouminou · 26/06/2008 17:22

and he was crap

Mum2BabyRoo · 26/06/2008 17:24

Go to the wedding. Make no effort with what you wear, enjoy yourselves, drink the free bar dry, eat loads, and do not buy a replacement gift. Then never contact them again.

I am so at their behaviour!!

littlelapin · 26/06/2008 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fryalot · 26/06/2008 17:24

ah, it's an ornament, is it? fab.

Smash it into quite a few pieces. Put all the pieces in a box, wrap the box and give it back to them.

Ungrateful bastards!

fryalot · 26/06/2008 17:25

oh, er, YANBU btw

MrsWeasley · 26/06/2008 17:25

I wouldn't go and certainly wouldn't be buying them any vouchers.

wannaBe · 26/06/2008 17:25

is this a wind up?

Mind you my sil asked for money as wedding presents - I refused and bought a present instead, as did many others.

Chequers · 26/06/2008 17:27

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 26/06/2008 17:30

Chequers, that is truly evil. I salute you.

wannaBe · 26/06/2008 17:31

lol at MI - good idea.

Actually I'd be tempted to send them a new gift.

a couple of tons of manure. To arrive on the morning of the wedding. With a note attached saying...

"you said my present was shit. So I didn't want to disappoint you." .

MrsMattie · 26/06/2008 17:32

PMSL@IPityTheFool.

motherinferior · 26/06/2008 17:32

Obviously if you do go to the wedding, make sure everyone knows what they did. I bet you a fiver you're not the only one. You need to aim for a whispering and tutting campaign sweeping the serried ranks.

Original poster
OonaghBhuna · 26/06/2008 17:33

omg thank you all so much for responding. And for supporting me, I feel alot better about not going now! Thank you, thank you!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
OonaghBhuna · 26/06/2008 17:35

omg thank you all so much for responding. And for supporting me, I feel alot better about not going now! Thank you, thank you!!!

OP posts:
EmmyLou · 26/06/2008 17:38

I would write a note explaining that you were v upset with their response to your gift - so upset that you don't feel comfortable attending their wedding. Wish them well in the future, which sort of makes it clear that you feel the friendship as reached its end.

IMO, no matter how awful their behaviour is, you just can't have the moral high ground if you spoil their wedding - and moral high ground can afford you some consolation that your so called friends turned out to be tossers.

kittywise · 26/06/2008 17:44

OMG what on earth is wrong with some people. That is one 'friend' that you don't need .
Poor you, don't worry though, they'll get theirs, shits like that always do, it's karma

waffletrees · 26/06/2008 17:50

Do a Kate Moss - arrive 10 mins late and wear a wedding dress.

motherinferior · 26/06/2008 17:51

There is an apparently untrue rumour that Plum Sykes turned up in a wedding dress dyed black to her sister's wedding.

RubyRioja · 26/06/2008 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toratora · 26/06/2008 17:52

YANBU - that is incredibly rude.

What is it with weddings making people think that they can behave exactly how they want with absolutely no regard to manners or people's feelings?

mixedmama · 26/06/2008 17:53

I think Emmylou has the right idea... altho it would be their just deserts if you used the other suggestoins

motherinferior · 26/06/2008 17:53

But as you've only got one night to plan your outfit, I just wouldn't go.

If they're decent people, they'll note and apologise. If they are as nasty as I'm afraid they sound, they'll still be mortified at the empty space at the table.

D'you have time to ring round a few people who are going, though, and tell them what happened and explain that's why you won't be going? Do it magnanimously, of course, not vindictively. In a pained and feeling that you are clearly not welcome way - hell, explain that you feel they wouldn't be comfortable with you there.

Twinkie1 · 26/06/2008 17:55

I hope it is a free bar - drink it dry and then vomit down the back of her dress!

Some people are just so damn rude!

expatinscotland · 26/06/2008 17:57

i wouldn't replace the gift.

but i'd go, dressed inappropriately, and eat and drink them out of house and home.

expatinscotland · 26/06/2008 17:58

then never contact them again.

i mean, it's not like they're going to send you a thank-you note.