For not attending a friends wedding

[OonaghBhuna]

An old friend of mine is getting married tomorrow.On Wednesday night I went over to their house with my present for them. Almost as soon as I had got home they phoned to say that they thought the present was awful and could i come back to collect it because they didnt like it at all.
They said ' we dont do ornaments and did you not know that we want vouchers'
So like a mug I went around and felt utterly humiliated and upset.
They were so rude and disrespectful to us that I cant bring myself to go.I am angry aswell as upset. I dont want to celebrate their maariage as I feel our friendship is over, I am shocked that I dont really know them at all......

So are you going?

If you even make an attempt to go to this wedding, the whole of mumsnet will be round yours to physically restrain you

Can you give me ONE good reason why you would go to the wedding of people like that???

PLEASE say you're not going

they're utter wankers!

Well done Betty, that fox has had me in absolute stitches. I've even saved the thread to show dh, bloody priceless

You mean me what, attila?

I can't claim to be the person who found the fox originally -that honour goes to DirtySexyMummy on this thread

We hot loads of wedding presents that were not at all to our taste ( and nobody got us a coffee-maker) but we just thanked everyone politely!
Turniphead, I have posted this before but there was another wedding here in Ireland where the happy couple asked people to enclose their gift receipts so the father of the bride could claim tax back!
And when dh and I were younger and cohabiting, SIL advised us to get married because we'd get lots of presents. Whatever happened to true love

I am getting married in Agust and I have told everyone we want NOTHING. I don't want or need my friends and family to spend their hard earned money on us.

If anyone were to turn up with a fugly ornament I would of course thank them politely!

like everyone else I'm stunned. and if it were me I really couldn;t let it go. I would have to write to them/her and explain just how rude they were and how hurt you felt. I would write that I had valued the friendship but that she had just thrown such a hand grenade into it that I really wasn't sure anything could rectify things. I'd express deep regret that your friendship had come to an end like this. I'd also, with a heavy hint of moral high ground, wish her well.

I wouldn;t go to the wedding. I'd phone the best man or bridesmaid or in-laws and give a crap excuse (illness probably) and then I'd send above letter to be on the doorstep when they got home from honeymoon.

I'm so sorry that a so-called friend has done this to you - awful and so hurtful.

well in that case, award yourself a medal DSM, its truly the most hideously godawful thing I have ever seen on here

Ok a major update. Word has spread and the groom has just phoned me up to apologise for their behaviour. He blamed it on the stress of the wedding ummmmmmmmmmmm Anyway I was able to tell him exactly how I felt and especially how hurt we both were. I do feel better after being able to vent my anger and feelings. He really wants us to go. The bride doesnt know any of this yet.
So will have to decide tonight on what to do.

Wow. How do you feel about the apology?

what do you mean by "word has spread"? did someone point out to them how awful this was? have they done it to anyone else? what did you say? how did you leave it?

Are they on MN?

So you don't know if the apology is from the bride too? Hmm. Which of them was it actually made the "fucking awful" comment?

Stress of the wedding my arse-I don't see how any friendship could get over this sort of incident unless you all live in TV soapland in which case you'll all be sharing a laugh and a drink together in no time.

I don't get how it's happened so quickly, that the groom has suddenly had a realisation and rung you, etc. Agree with snice - it's all a bit soapy

Well, an apology is an apology, no?

Only if its genuinely given

Depends if you feel the apology is sufficient to make up for the atrocious rudeness - but don't give them anything else, feck it, why put yourself out? If they want you there that bad, let your presence be enough of a present.

the person who I spoke to phoned them and told them how we were feeling.I dont live in soapland and I dont think I will get over what they did.I dont feel that I know them anymore, they were so horrible.

Don't go.
Could you really bare to sit there and listen to speeches about how wonderful they are?
You might get pissed and call her a cow, then it'll all kick off and you'll never forgive yourself.
Just don't go. End the friendship here.

Thanks so much for your support,I apreciate all of the comments.

an apology made because "word spread" is not an apology imo.

don't go!

Both actually but the bride was the one who went on about the vouchers.