To think if I’d had my time over, I’d have stuck at one child

[knighttime]

I know a lot of people think it’s easier because they play together but honestly life with just one child seems so much nicer, calmer, so much lovely one to one time devoted to one, their interests tailored for and you get to properly enjoy parenting.

I seem to be really unique on this as everywhere I see having two is easier and I don’t see it myself?

At least not as hard as you. You sound like you can pick a fight in an empty room!

I love my kids. However i agree and secretly think the same. As does my husband.

Lol. The only people picking fights here are the mums of multiples who didn't like my original post. The ladies doth protest too much!

I honestly did not see your first post.

That's some shit parenting there. It wasn't your little brother's fault. It was your mum and dad choosing the easiest path and putting all the blame on the little brother while making you hyper-responsible. That probably set you up for very toxic interaction for the rest of your lives. He probably thinks the world revolves around him, while you resent the hell out of him. I don't blame you, just saying that this was parenting problem, not a sibling problem really.

I have 2 and I’m glad we did. That’s enough for us. They play really well together although there’s an age gap.

A mum of an only has asked 3x this week for our kids to play and mine didn’t want to. We have been enjoying spontaneous days out and some days just lazing around at home.
really don’t want another child here.

As we have an age gap, I do know how tough it is to occupy an Only child as well.

My friend had another child in case 1 of them died ! Its not an unusual way to think or feel

Those examples are adaptions you make for a younger sibling. Apart from the lolly thing which I don’t blame you for holding a grudge for, what you’ve described is not really a huge deal.

Luckily I didn't have to put up with him for too long. Parents separated when I was 8 and mum took him with her

But why should a child have to make allowances for a sibling they didn't ask for. The parents wanted another kid the least they could do it not let it disrupt the older ones life

I guess you could say why should a child have to live with someone they didn’t choose to, or move to a place they didn’t choose to. Realistically, if you have more than one child you can’t always meet their needs in the same way as if you have an only.

We had two but they have a 6 year age gap so basically had an only child for 6 years. It wasn't easy because our eldest child isn't an easy child. She's spicy. So one child in my opinion doesn't guarantee an easier life. Our 2nd child is easy going naturally, emotionally stable, much easier to parent and the 1st one helps more with the baby due to the age gap. I haven't found it much harder to have two apart from some logistics. We also now have a 7yo foster kid. Now that's definitely harder than having the 2, mainly again due to logistics (different school runs, activities etc). But I find that anything after 3 children doesn't make a difference, might as well have 10. It's fun though I do feel privileged but I get why some parents of 1 child that's an easier child temperament wise might have a quieter life. Especially once the child is older.

It was only when DS was ill as a young adult that his being an only child being highlighted at the time was extremely distressing.

I didn't ever see the need to have another child. Not even at that moment.

In the time before germ theory, vaccinations and where deaths from what are now ordinary childhood illnesses were common? Sure. Now, no, I don't think 'Better have another in case this one kicks the bucket' is at all a usual way to approach family planning.

i don’t think that means anything, my two that argue the most are my boy and girl that are 3 years age gap.

3.5 years between my bickering pair.

Mind you my brother was 2.5 years younger than me and we weren't close either

Strangely enough my DDs have larger gaps between their kids, one has a 13 year gap and the other a 7 year gap

I have to disagree from my personal experience with only children.

Well, we all have our delusions.

My sibling was much older than me. We always got on but felt like onlys who had the good fortune to have a sibling if that makes any sense.

There's some really snotty responses on here.

My DS is a very sociable, out there person with plenty of friendships and a pretty good relationship with us. He was a bit grumpy at points in the teenage years in a very much par of the course way.

So when does the weirdness kick in? At what age? Because of course eldest children are usually onlies at one stage

Of all the crocks of shit I have read on Mumsnet over the years, the biggest crock of shit has to go to “Two children are easier than one”.

I'm the opposite to you, grew up as the eldest in a chaotic house with lots of siblings and then had one.

Rubbish. You quoted it! To disagree and make out I was being dramatic of course.