AIBU to think 8.45pm is too early to expect quiet?

[Ellou2010]

Am I being unfair or is it wrong of the neighbours to message asking us to be quiet at 8.45 because their 4 month old wakes at the slightest noise? For context we are older and have a 14 and 16 year old so our house doesn’t wake until atleast 11am. 16 year old finished his GCSES and has been on summer break for 5 weeks already and still has 6 weeks to go. He’s trying to get a job but he and his friends keep getting knocked back because there is no work for them. He is very sociable and has a good group of friends who come here once every couple of weeks which I like because atleast I know they are safe. 14 year old is autistic and shuts herself away from the world so I’m glad he is more social! We brought our house 4 years ago and the neighbours are lovely including the neighbours who have moaned. I understand it’s hard with a newborn because I’ve been there twice but seriously don’t understand why we should all go quite before 9pm? For context school terms were all in bed by 9pm latest it’s just summer we socialise. Don’t want to fall out with the neighbours but also want my kids to have a social life!

I am an absolute miserable cow about neighbour noise and even I find this unreasonable unless you are having all night discos with fireworks every night. Ignore ignore ignore.

OP said they were talking quietly, not shouting or being noisy, no music.

So it's fine for you to lower your voice, but her children are doing the wrong thing by doing the same?

There's consideration for others that we should all have and then there's being ridiculous and expecting other people to alter their lives and be silent from 8.45pm to accomodate them.

8:45pm on a weekday is not late. They're also not the only household on the street and can't reasonably expect everyone else to alter their summer routines. In my opinion, people enjoying their gardens until 9:30pm or even 10:00pm is perfectly acceptable.
Perhaps they should consider rearranging their bedroom setup so the baby sleeps at the front of the house before expecting others to change the way they are living their lives.

So normal teens sit in the back garden shooting the breeze. They will make noise, but that's normal.

Baby could sleep in the front bedroom. Oh wait, traffic noise there, I forgot.

They really are making a rod for their own back by trying (and failing) to have perfect quiet for their Pfb. It's not possible.

Just live as normal, baby will thank you as s/he gets used to normal life noise. That's what I think anyway. Nothing mad, bad or provocative though, just normal Summer noise.

Babies need to learn to sleep through noise. Even in the countryside there isn't silence at night. I'd vacuum the house when mine went to bed, put washing machine on etc. Never had a problem with sleeping. My DH and I grew up in houses that had been divided into flats. That was very very noisy as it wasn't just adults in the buildings and everyone was overcrowded with multi-generational living.

These neighbours are batshit crazy.

Your neighbours are suffering from the condition of PFB bollocks.
It's very well known common condition among the this is the first baby ever born fraternity.
They will get over it eventually if they have a 2nd baby, and by the 3rd the band of the Coldstream Guards playing the national anthem at full blast could be matching down the road outside their house and they won't even hear it.

They’re probably just desperate. I’d be inclined to compromise and ask the teens to come in at 9. 5 teens talking and laughing even “quietly” probably feels like a lot if the baby won’t sleep. I remember at a similar stage practically wanting to deck DP for putting the bins out as it woke the baby (who incidentally now is a great sleeper but at one point would be woken by a leaf dropping).

It would be kind to ship the kids in at 9.

Way too early. The law is 11, and whilst I think music until 11 in the garden nightly would be unneighbourly, talking until 10 in the garden is fine with normal conversation level voices (not loud shouting, high jinks etc) I was in my own garden until after 10 last night.

I’d rather have them here the odd night than on the streets. Constantly see on social media people moaning about teens out wandering the streets. Can’t win really. They take turns at each others house and as they finished their GCSES they’ve already been off 8 weeks and in those 8 weeks they’ve been here 3 evenings. I don’t think that’s a lot?

I’ve already said no music. My kids don’t play instruments at all but the neighbours who complained do! This was just kids chatting in the garden and they are mindful of the baby next door and do always keep their noise levels down.

Ignore your inconsiderate neighbours, your kids are fine. They will just have to learn to live in the real world, do not make your own children's lives smaller and more miserable to placate cheeky fuckers, who will just keep upping their demands anyway as cheeky fuckers do. If you give in to this you will soon be tiptoing around your own home and there will be more demands forthcoming. Best you have no relationship with them at all, going forward.

Completely put them out of your mind and just carry on with your absolutely normal lives.

I bet they are louder than you think, given you keep saying how immune you are to noise. My teen and her friends chatting would not be quiet. We have a baby next door and also sit in the garden occasionally and noise does happen
.

What will happen when they have neighbours who dont follow their rules?

To all the posters asking "are they playing music?" "how loud is the chatting?" and saying things like "I bet their louder than you think"

SO WHAT?

They are teensagers socialising in their own home. It's early evening, it's not a party and it's every couple of weeks fgs. They are allowed to 'chat loudly' and even 'play music'. Why should normal behaviour be curbed for a
parents of a PFB who are going to get a short sharp shock when they realise that unless you live rurally, people continue with their lives despite the wonder and awe you feel at the preciousness of your baby.

I think the point is to hate there is normal noise/ talking/ music/ people having a good time. Where yeah 8.45 close the window, get over it.

A small minority of people seem to need to deliberately disrupt the lives of others with an utterly ridiculous racket to enjoy themselves. We have neighbours who used to be like it, now they’ve hit 60 they seem to have finally grown out of it. I suspect the op is referring to normal noise, however.

Is this the first child? Are they struggling with parenthood? We’ve all been there and unfortunately all children no matter their age have to get used to noise in the evenings. My neighbours are in bed by 8.30, we are more like 10 as we are in a different phrase of our lives. Our neighbours at the bottom of the garden have a party in their garden most weekends during the summer, they too are in a different phase. It’s each to their own just don’t take the piss. I bet you have to listen to a baby crying intermittently and that’s no fun either.