AIBU to think 8.45pm is too early to expect quiet?

[Ellou2010]

Am I being unfair or is it wrong of the neighbours to message asking us to be quiet at 8.45 because their 4 month old wakes at the slightest noise? For context we are older and have a 14 and 16 year old so our house doesn’t wake until atleast 11am. 16 year old finished his GCSES and has been on summer break for 5 weeks already and still has 6 weeks to go. He’s trying to get a job but he and his friends keep getting knocked back because there is no work for them. He is very sociable and has a good group of friends who come here once every couple of weeks which I like because atleast I know they are safe. 14 year old is autistic and shuts herself away from the world so I’m glad he is more social! We brought our house 4 years ago and the neighbours are lovely including the neighbours who have moaned. I understand it’s hard with a newborn because I’ve been there twice but seriously don’t understand why we should all go quite before 9pm? For context school terms were all in bed by 9pm latest it’s just summer we socialise. Don’t want to fall out with the neighbours but also want my kids to have a social life!

They can, they’re always welcome in our house but it’s hot and they want to sit outside, just think 8.45 is very early to ask people to be indoors? X

Thank you. Agree! We lived above a soft play and takeaways when my 2 were babies and they learned to sleep through the noise

Thank you. Agree it’s too early for a residential street. I’m a teacher so work hard all year this is my only free time and feel trapped by the babies routine x

Daily life with teenagers who barely wake before lunch time and a mum and 2 dogs who are also on summer holidays so our house is silent until 11am earliest. Teens are awake later but friends are only here until 10pm latest and just sat chatting quietly in the garden until then. Neighbours are saying because it’s hot they need windows open and the baby will wake to any noise even quiet talking. Not to mention we have foxes living on our street screaming all night 🙄

This is what I go by but always kick the teens out for 10pm so an hour earlier because I think 10pm is late enough

Just him and 5 friends talking in the garden quietly, he’s respectful knows there is a baby next door and tells his friends to keep their noise down

Tried to offer advice like this as a mum of a 14 and almost 16 year old who could sleep through a bomb but they are new parents and think they don’t need advice x

Same as my teens! They are very respectful and in winter months we’ll be locked up inside so no noise until next summer. Hopefully as the baby gets older they relax a bit more x

They often message apologising for the baby crying but we are so desensitised to noise we never hear the baby. On one occasion in 4 months my dog has been unsettled and lead me to the garden where I heard the baby crying but didn’t bother me at all was just trying to comfort the dog who was distressed by the crying x

My hubby is in the building trade so is aware of the laws. We’d never make noise out of hours because he is so aware. It’s just general chatting and socialising, we won’t go past 10pm in the garden chatting x

Just chatting generally 6 of them no music, very respectful kids

dont wake until atleast 11am just has his usual group of 5 friends in the garden music just chatting, all respectful kids who are very aware of the baby next door

No music sorry

once in 2 weeks on average x

WhatsApp messsge. They moan about my dogs regularly but my girl is home with them 24.7 they have a cat which literally parades herself on my drive way infront of the dogs to wind them up and there’s a ginger cat who hangs around our garden who I assume is after their cat but I never complain about it! We’re also pretty deaf as a household. Don’t hear the neighbours never hear the baby crying just don’t complain at all. We’re quiet all year just have 6 weeks in summer to socialise and catch up but feel very restricted because of the baby next door x

Every 2 weeks at most, no music just chatting and chilling in the garden because to hot in the house x

6 teenagers chatting outside is quite loud if it’s a terraced house at whatever time especially if they’re laughing and have deep or high pitched voices. But 8.45pm is a bit early. I do understand though that the parents are probably exhausted and just want their child to sleep.

No music just 6 teens sitting chatting, we always make sure they are quiet. Have an autistic child who struggles with noise and they are all very respectful of this x

We’re away last week of summer holidays so we’ll see then x

First child. They’re very unsure and ask me for lots of advice because I’ve done it twice and mine are both teens. I get it, it’s scary and I offer them all the advice and support I can. Mine were good sleepers because I trained them to be so! Will back them all the way and always remind my kids they have a baby and it hard and they are both very respectful. They tend not to listen to me and that’s fine all I can do is offer help x x

That’s unacceptable and would totally pull my teens up on this! Sorry this is your situation. My kids don’t hit balls or play music past 9pm. My boy just chats with his 5 friends quietly and we monitor their noise so they aren’t loud. This isn’t our situation and can understand why your frustrated x

The baby is their problem. It's ridiculous for them to expect the neighbourhood to accommodate them. If they need absolute silence then they need to move somewhere else.

They're not lovely, by the way. They've moaned about you staying up past 8.45 and about your dogs. Lovely people don't do that.

They are making a rod for their own backs. Silence isn't reality - baby needs to learn to sleep with ambient sound or they need to use white noise.

I would respectfully reply saying that whilst you do already try to be mindful that they have a baby, you have two teens who are on summer holidays and have a social life, and that their request is not reasonable.

One day they will remember this request and burn with the embarrassment of it when Baby is 17 and playing fucking drill music and 1am.

Before 9pm is early would expect 10pm is more reasonable know our council state 11pm latest but kick kids friends out at 10pm latest think before 9 is too early

6 teenagers just chatting no music, very respectful kids. I’m a teacher and taught them all and the respect me when I ask them to be quiet because of the baby next door x