AIBU for refusing to straighten my kids hair for my brothers wedding?

[dramaisalifestyle]

Next week is my brother's wedding. We are all super excited to welcome my sister-in-law to the family. Obviously this wedding has been planned for months now and up until yesterday I was under the assumption that my kids hairstyle during the wedding didn't really matter.

I have two DC (8 year old daughter, 4 year old son). They are half black, half white. I'm white, as is my extended family. My kids have really curly hair, my daughter has 4A hair and my son has 4B hair.

Yesterday my kids re-tried their outfits for the wedding, just to make sure the outfits still fit. My SIL asked for confirmation, so I sent her a text and I said that the kids outfits still fit. That's when she sent me a text in response asking me if I can straighten my daughters hair for the wedding, and if possible can I straighten my sons hair aswell. Now I've never straightened my kids hair in order to avoid heat damage, they are way too young to understand the damage that straightening their hair can cause. So I told my SIL that I'm not comfortable straightening their hair, but if she has any hairstyles in mind that would work for curly hair, just let me know.

She didn't respond for like 30 minutes. And then when she did respond she said that she thinks it's quite rude for me to try and dictate her wedding. And that she expects their hair to be straight on her wedding day. She said she won't tolerate their hair not being straight for the wedding.

I also got a text from my DM telling me to keep the peace and to just straighten their hair for this one occasion. However, I'm still reusing to straighten their hair, it's really unhealthy for their hair especially when they are too young to understand.

AIBU?

Why would she have hidden the thread?

It was just a suggestion. There were some very robust suggestions about racism, which she might have found very hard to face. (Absolutely true obviously, but it would be very hard to confront her family with, in the context of a family wedding.)

Either way, she appears to have abandoned the thread.

Hopefully the press haven’t picked up on it

Unless its fake, there have been a few fake threads lately and they've all been one's that are less run-of-the-mill for this forum

That too is possible, this thread certainly got posters frothing at the mouth.

It is quite odd that the OP seemingly abandoned the thread so early.

It's not odd that the op has abandoned the thread early, I think she's been outed in real life. It's very identifying so maybe she's dealing with the fall out in the background & has decided not to engage further. She did engage a lot to start with so I don't think this is a fake thread.

Point taken, yes that might also be true. We’ll never know either way.

I imagine @dramaisalifestyle probably decided to stop reading, given the masses of comments explaining how it isn't racism from people who clearly hadn't even read all of her posts. Can't say I blame her.

Either that or it's not true.

Either way I think we can all imagine how it would go if anyone told the racist sister in law that she was being racist, and it wouldn't be great.

Have you called out the racism @dramaisalifestyle ? I hope so and that it has not caused more drama.

How did the wedding go? @dramaisalifestyle

Did you go?

Sadly I don't think there be an update. Hope op children worn their hair as they wanted if they attended the wedding