Friend said she'd prefer to meet when I had more money

[Whatever555]

Had some money issues and on a tight budget, sometimes meet up with an old colleague, sometimes she'd say 'Let's go for food then onto the cinema/theatre/bowling' etc.. id have to cancel sometimes or just suggest going for a drink or something.
She's said 'Let's just leave meeting up until you can do something other than a coffee." I feel embarrassed and guilty- I know she's probably bored of it but surely you're just happy to see your friend? We could do a walk or go to a park etc. I feel a bit boring.

I meet up with my friends mostly doing free activites as they suit everyone's budget. This is awful. I couldnt imagine not seeing my friend because her budget is tighter than mine.

OP's not responded after the first few minutes, but the key information missing here is whether they expect the others to sub them

There's absolutely nothing wrong with a cheaper/free outing for a change, but it might look a bit different to the rest of the group if the above is the case

Shes a dick

Dont worry we can meet and do those things when you have more money - reasonable

I dont want to see you when youre poor to do something cheap -dickhead

You can buy insurance just for a day and get the meerkat cinema 2 for 1 on a Tuesday and Wednesday which then lasts you a year.

Don't take her though, she's an arsehole. I'll come with you then go to Spoons after 😀

It is difficult, I have a good friend I used to go to concerts with but in recently years prices have gone from £20 to £85+ and I just can't afford to spend that on seeing a random band especially if we'd be getting dinner and drinks on top of that. I hardly see that friend anymore even though I've suggested cheaper meet ups. Seeing friends is expensive in general these days. I see my closest friend in another city every other month or so and it costs about £80 - £100 just for travel costs, food, teas and maybe paying in to a gallery.

I wouldn't "catch up" sitting in silence for 100 minutes at the cinema.
My friends and I have plenty of money but tend to have a coffee and a walk. Going to the theatre is very expensive treat, not a chatty catch up event.
If i said I had no money my friends would be fine with a walk. It's summertime. Or if you are southern hemisphere, barring South Africa, the weather is also mostly very nice.

Find a better friend op. My friend are more than happy to do cheap / no cost activities just so we can catch up.

Baffled tbh, there's no way I wouldn't see friends due to funds. If I could I'd treat. But I'm always just happy with a coffee and catch up. Why does she need loads of activities it sounds like a kids day out

I think everyone is being really unfair to the friend
Its clear Op has agreed to meals/ cinema and then either cancelled last minute or said she wants to just have a drink instead, rather than her friend wont agree to cheap things

If you are looking forward to something its very annoying,doubly so if you need to book a baby sitter

If the friend had posted this " my friend keeps cancelling last minute or changing plans "
Everyone would be calling Op flakey as hell.
Not keen on these sneaky aibus that manipulate the replies

If I was your friend I’d be happy to just for for coffee, cake and a walk. She’s not a nice person if you are only worth bothering with if you’ve got money.

See my reply above
Op isnt suggesting up front a coffee, walk or cheap bottle of plonk and pasta though
Shes accepting the invite for a dinner out and either cancelling or changing it last minute
Thats annoying

She's not a real friend. Sorry.

I think people that have never experienced a tight or different budget just don't get it and they expect because you don't look like times are hard they aren't. Years ago I was given such a hard time because I couldn't go for a weekend hen party away and attend a wedding. But I was expected to be sympathetic when it was their turn as finances were tight for them.

But I also agree that this isn't a friend. You find out who really cares about you when you don't have money, you've lost your job, or you've got other huge stressers in your life.

I'd drop the rope with her.

Agree with this. It depends for me on how often you've cancelled on her.

She's no friend . She is just using you as a companion for excursions .

Bowling? Is she 11? She doesn't sound super nice. Nothing wrong with a coffee and a walk!

Well the friend has already dropped the rope with the Op !

Most of us have times when we cant afford something
What we dont do is accept then cancel

Your friend shouldn’t expect you to spend more than you can afford for a meet up. Surely it’s the getting together that is the important thing, not the activity.

The cancellations would piss me off.

I think she’s being inconsiderate to be honest. I’d be more than happy to go for a coffee and a walk in the park or just a drink.

I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

She’s not your friend. It’s insensitive of her to have that attitude. I would prefer to meet a true friend for a walk or coffee than waste money doing things with her.

Nothing wrong with coffee and a walk if that's what everyone agreed to a the beginning, but it is a bit shitty to constantly agree to bowling only to keep cancelling and changing your mind.

Is it worth considering a cinema pass? I have one for odeon and love it, costs me £20 a month to see as many films as I like. I go almost every week now with my sister to watch something - might be a way to keep meeting your friend, though tbh she should be kinder!

Not a friend OP. True friendship transcends social differences