Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

no it isn't.

Swearing loudly in public/around children. Not the sort of involuntary swearing if you drop something kind of thing, but the prolonged, top of the voice, swearing as punctuation type of swearing. I was in a supermarket buying a sandwich my way to work one morning, and a bunch of guys at the next self check out where peppering their conversation with this language. I am not someone who never swears, but I do think in such a public place you can express your views on something without shouting fucking cunt at the top of your voice.

Edited for typo

Putting filthy suitcases, fresh from the train and London streets, onto my beds. I had to show MIL what the luggage rack was for after I'd got the black grease off the bedspread

Also MIL, counting food and licking plate and knife.

No phones at the table.

My parents didn't drink alcohol (not wine anyway, my dad had the occasional whisky) so when I went to stay with someone and we had wine, I didn't know that you wait for the host to say you can drink it and started having a sip before he gave us the go-ahead.

What would you do if you were in the office and lunch was provided at a meeting? Wait until afterwards?

neither do I but isn't it usual to ask what people would like so as to make sure there is enough for everyone to have what they like?

if its a domestic staircase its bad luck because one of you might fall.....plain common sense and not superstitious at all.

The only person who was rude there was your colleague who presumably has hands, and could have picked up the loo brush herself if it upset her so much to have skid marks in the bowl well beneath her precious bottom. Any germs on the skid don't leap up onto your bottom and get you!

Some public loos don't even have loo brushes so not sure what you meant to do there.

But I run and have to use some pretty awful portaloos at races, so maybe I am just not very fussy!

But if you're not going to share communal food in a way that allows everyone to have a piece, then you need to say when ordering 'DS only eats prawn balls so we'll get him his own portion' and make sure there's another meal to share amongst everyone else, especially as I'd have thought that's one that's most popular.

My father would always walk in between the road and a me (or any female) when walking along a pavement. Apparently it's a throwback from the days of horse & carriages, when the man would put himself between the carriage and his wife to prevent her getting splashed. I love this and taught my husband to do the same!

On the stripping beds thing, that was something else I didn't know. I was working overseas and a colleague invited me to stay with her and her parents for the weekend. I didn't strip my bed and they more or less screamed at me because I hadn't done it (genuinely no exaggeration). Since then I have always asked if the host would like me to do it!

My dd had a friend stay over for a local music festival.
She stayed 3 nights. They got dusty, dirty and smelly, as you'd expect.. By the 3rd night I left towels on the bed and told dd to tell her to shower!
Absolutely rank 🤢
She also only ate co op ready meals. Fine. Stick them in the freezer. Then complained loudly about the smell from me cooking bacon (not a veggie!)
Have you smelt a microwave ready meal lately? 🤢

I ask if the host wants me to strip the bed. Up to now, I've always been met with a confused "no!"

I think this is allowed. If traffic is moving slowly, there is no one waiting to cvross on the zebra and then the traffic stops when you (driving) are actually on the zebra, what are you supposed to do?
also this

My mum didn't make me ask to leave the table but my friends did and I found it really weird. However, I was slower than my parents so I suppose they were the ones waiting for me, if I'd tried to beetle off before they'd finished they might have said something.

You don't go on the zebra - you move forward if there's enough space on the other side. Basically treat it like a yellow box.

It’s not like that at all. It’s like thanking someone for waiting when the obstruction is on their side of the road. Yes, it’s your right of way, but most people still say thank you. Though people not saying thank you (even if the obstruction is on their side and you have waited) is increasingly common.

Most people say thank you at Zebra crossings, and when I am a pedestrian I always say thank you.

You are actually correct.

yes but you might actually be moving?

whather they strip or not its NEVER polite to scream at guests

Yes, that is what I do if I have a speaking part in the meeting, I take the sandwiches with me to eat later. It's just too awkward.

What happens if there are 100 or 200 in the line of cars going to the funeral after waiting a few minutes as cars went by I saw a gap and turned onto the road only to be met with road rage from the car behind that this was still the funeral line

Well unless you are absolutely sure there's room to stop on the other side, you stop on your side. You never block a crossing (not just zebra, it applies to crossings with lights too, though London bus drivers have never heard of that rule).

And with rather more important consequences, it's the same with a level crossing! If you are approaching you make sure there's space the other side before you cross it. If not, you wait on your side until there is so you don't get trapped on it when the barriers come down.

Screamingabdabz

maybe it’s just here!!! Everyone I’ve said it to said the same, black for friends and close relatives only, everyone else formal casual dark but not fully black

No, it turned out that they were a bit bonkers. I didn't go again, I think she just invited me so she wasn't stuck on her own with them!