Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

This post matches your username! My answer is yes, yes you are. 🤣

I love these , they are so inbred in me other people think I'm nuts , I'm 44 own my own restaurant if cutlery is together you are finished otherwise I'm not sure , you walk upstairs and down corridors to the left so other direction goes right , you don't cross then. I say thank you at lights at lights and to servers and bus drivers it is good manner . Dark toa funeral and smart unless requested. You do not wear white a wedding unless bride. Black tie should be adhered to, I hate smart casual vey ambiguous. Head of the table should be matriarch or patriarch and if you ask for the bill for the table you are paying it unless agreed otherwise. So many more but u would sound nuts

Saying "hello" to everyone in the house when you come in. Confuses me when people (in laws usually) slide in and suddenly appear.

@LondonLass2026 yup that people walking two abreast on a narrow pavement thing, expecting one person walking along alone to move out of their way, drives me nuts.

Mine is people who don’t put their hand over their mouth when they yawn. I don’t want to see your teeth or the back of your throat, thanks.

My friends held a party for a significant age we all share this year and laid on fabulous entertainment and food for us all.
I sent them both thank you letters afterwards.
They seemed really surprised I had done this.

I blame the parents😂 To be clear I learnt post etiquette the hard way😉

It's not the same. Do you thank other drivers for stopping at a red light when your light is green?

DHs family does this! They just come in and go about their business.

I come from a “HELLO” family and then anyone in the house must come and greet that person and someone should offer them a cup of tea.

I seem to have rotten luck as all too often I end up standing next to adult men on the train who pick their noses. Foul! Also, copious sniffling. You're an adult, carry some fucking tissues and use them.

I moved to Ireland a couple of years ago and had no idea that it was rude to ask this question here too. I was chatting to some new found friends who had owned horses and they were really shocked when I asked how many they had.

If there is a bottle or jug of something to drink on a table for dinner and you want to pour yourself a drink, offer it to others first.

But that is revolting and unhygienic 🤷🏼‍♀️

Depends where you are in the country, I think. I wave thanks to people who stop in a normal fashion. If it's a moody twat going too fast who comes to a very sharp and reluctant stop, then I don't -and may they fuck off and die-

Neighbours playing loud music is my one. I have music on loads but wouldn’t dream of blasting it so that others are forced to listen unless very briefly like if i opened the door to hang washing up out on the line. Also my neighbours let their kids play right infront on my house in the car park and obviously care more about their peace and quiet than their neighbours (they also happily blast music). It’s exhausting for someone like myself that works nights & the kids rile up my dogs as thry can see them from the living room window. Have spoken to them about it but never lasts long til they are back…

I have never heard this ‘etiquette’ rule. It’s crazy. Scoop the peas!

Waiting for everyone at the table to be seated and have food in front of them before making a start on your own food. None of DH’s family do this and I’m always gobsmacked. Just basic manners, no?!

I was always taught that turning up on time, especially to meet friends, was polite, and that if you’ve agreed to do something you follow through and do it even if on the day you can’t really be bothered, but the amount of people I’ve met who turn up late to everything or drop out at the last minute really grates on me.

People asking others how they voted … this was always taboo when I was a kid

When you have been a guest in someone’s house you strip the bed before you leave. Leave the bedlinen and your towel in a loosely folded pile on the floor. Fold the duvet back to let the bed air. Bring your rubbish down to put in the main bin.

I’m always outraged when overnight guests just leave the bed made up. Do they think I’m going to leave it like that for the next person? I think ‘Who raised YOU?!’

God I wish people would go back to walking on narrow paths in single or at most double file, as pp pointed out. Drives me nuts to meet a row of people walking along yakking to each other, oblivious to everyone else. I'd imagine if you run it must be a complete pain too.

But surely you want everyone else to know it wasn't you ...

It's not only rude, but it's a criminal offence to open mail not addressed to you.

[Postal Services Act 2000, Section 84 "Interfering with the mail: general"]

We were always told as children not to scream unless we were in danger, as no one will come to help us if they hear us screaming all the time... I'd say that was more of a street rule and not a general rule listening to all the blood curdling, random screaming over this way.

People who walk or cyle two abreast and expect you to find your way around them - unbearable twats.

100%

I think it must come from a time where the conditions of slaughtering & preparing a chicken would have happened somewhere that might not have been 100% sanitary so to give a rinse would get grit etc off but definitely not needed if bought from a hygienic place (pretty much everywhere these days). If only common sense would click in and they would put 2 & 2 together and save themselves the hassle