Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

I am of carribean heritage and we always wash meat/chicken before cooking. Although I suppose this is kind of a reverse as more people are shocked and "worried" by the practice than not.

People loudly commenting on public toilets that smell bad. I was raised with the philosophy of "the one who smelt it dealt it" so if you smell something bad in public, pretend it's not there! I cringe whenever someone makes a comment and embarasses themselves.

Double dipping, don’t reach over people to get something at the table, wear sober smart clothes at a funeral (unless explicitly stated otherwise) , don’t wear pyjamas to breakfast in a hotel….

It sounds like you're the one who's embarrassed by it. Not them.

Oh and a more mainstream one.. cutlery and table manners.
Elbows in, food to your mouth not mouth to food, knife in hand always even if not needed, cutlery together on the plate means finished, cutlery in an upside V means you would like seconds, napkin on your lap not tucked into your top, soup spoon for soup and a sideways pour into your mouth.
As I get older these seem lost and "posh". Grew up with working class parents who had achieved i suppose middle class life but were by no means aspiring to be posh.

Eating peas on the back of a fork. I had no idea. A friend told me off because I scooped them up like I was using a spoon.
I had to laugh as we were in that well known classy establishment where etiquette is to be adhered to... a Wetherspoons 😂

Some og these table ones are impractical nonsense

Things people don't do today, which we were taught at school in the 80s and 90s-

Step back if waiting for a lift/elevator to let people out first. Don't just barge in!

Ditto for waiting to get on the tube - step back and ffs let people out first!

If walking on a crowded pavement in a group (say, friends on a lunch break) you get into single file if someone comes from the opposite direction so you don't force them into the road - no one does this anymore!

Saying thank you to the bus driver when you get off. I also thank security guards when I leave a shop.

I know there are many more but I can't think of any right now. I had a strict Church of England schooling and they made damn sire we behaved. As well as parents who took no crap!

I never understood napkin on your lap. If I am going to spill food anywhere, it will be going down my front.

Waving thank you when someone stops for you on a zebra crossing. I always thought it was a British tradition and was really surprised at a thread on here a while ago where a substantial number of people were saying they never said thank you because the car driver had an obligation to stop.
I guess it's a bit like thanking the server in a shop or restaurant, they're doing their job but it's basic courtesy.

I’ve only been made aware as an adult that post is not a free for all. I grew up in a whoever sees the post opens it all and hands it over house. I was quickly made aware this is rude and not the done thing😂

Wearing everyday clothes not nightwear to the supermarket. I judge and don't care unless you are 3 years old.

This is one of the actual reasons I don’t eat peas!! I know you have to push them onto the back of your fork but it’s such a time consuming way to eat! I might eat them with shepherd’s pie or something where you can use that main dish to make the peas stick better.

You WHAT now???
You open other people's post?????

It just seems weird to me. Is it expected of any other food?

I was disappointed recently to see drivers not letting following cars out behind a hearse.
It was a big funeral with a horse drawn hearse.
Two tall Yorkshire greys led the way.
3 limousine mourning cars.
And then several private cars following.
It should have been obvious to any alert driver.
So either dozy or disrespectful.

Don't cross on the stairs. It's bad luck.

That you don’t pet animals and then put your hands in communal bowls of crisps without washing your hands.

This happened twice recently - once a few weeks ago where my relative ended up with horrible food poisoning from someone petting chickens and then not washing their hands, and another when I was at an event with bowls of crisps out and someone had been fussing the dog and I had to ask them, aren’t you going to wash your hands first?

On the opposite way round - I once went on a riding holiday in Iceland and we stayed on a farm. I asked the owner how many horses she had and she explained to me that in Iceland that was a rude question, it was like asking someone in Britain how much they earned.

she told me anyway and it was lots.

Going through a door yourself and just letting the door go behind you, even if someone else is coming. That feels so rude and like they are shutting the door in your face.

If someone has visited you, standing at the front door and wave them off when they leave. Id never shut the door before they have driven off.

I appear to have a door 'thing' 🤣

Sorry but life is waaaay too short to squish peas onto the back of a fork… other than this I think my table manners are pretty good.

playing music out loud on public transport with no headphones… I find this so rude and arrogant.

I’m always surprised that certain people BIL turn up to parties/ dinner/ Christmas dinner empty handed.

Asking to try my food or drink. I don’t mind too much when it’s say scampi so it’s a case of moving a piece to their plate but wanting to try my steak or cocktail or ice cream absolutely not!!!!

Do we all have to listen to conversations and music that people choose to do on loud speaker!
Road users that do not acknowledge it when you let them pass.
cyclist that ride two abreast, cyclist that do not use cycle lanes when there are ones to use.

1. If invited over, never turn up at anyone's house empty handed - especially when there's children. Does not have to be anything expensive - just a token, like a bunch of flowers, sweets, thing kind of thing. Amount of time I had friends over for catch up/ drinks/ etc who turn up with nothing! I never judge them but its weird to me. I'd feel uncomfortable.
2. Have a wash before getting into a swimming pool. Thought it was a universal thing but apparently not.