Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

People asking about your politics or money

Yes to all of these!

I recently was waiting for a train at the end of line station, so every passenger had to get off and we were getting onto an empty train. A young woman was trying to push past people getting off and asking me what my problem was because I was standing back letting people off and clearly getting in her way.

I also live nearish a college so when I walk home sometimes (up a busy road) I pass the young people on their way home in the other direction - the amount of times they are walking 3 a breast taking up the whole pavement and no-one moves in to let me past so I've had to duck into someone's front garden or into the busy road - I started to just stop in the path so that have to walk round me or walk into me but I always get a look like I am the mad one!

Always say thank you to bus drivers, and shop staff.

It’s actually against the law in England to open a letter not addressed to you.

These were largely the rules I was taught!

Also - I have a Dutch friend - older than me, so it may be old-fashioned now, but she was taught also never to put your spare hand on the table, but to keep it on your lap. Eg - if you were sitting at the table between courses and sipping wine/water, or if you were eating something using just one hand for cutlery. Is this a thing?

Also - taught never to touch her face in public. So if you get an itch, or need to get rid of a stray hair, tough luck! I suspect these are very formal, old fashioned rules which only the RF would follow now. But, thinking about it, it is off-putting when people touch their faces a lot, especially at the table - constantly fiddling with hair, for example.

If I'm on a lunchtime zoom call and eating my sandwich, I switch my camera off and explain that it's because I'm eating. People seem puzzled that I think it's uncouth to be on camera eating.

And people who try to find out about your political views (on first meeting, I mean) by making all kinds of dog-whistle-type comments and scrutinising your reaction. I've had this from both left and right. I don't take things further with people like that - people to whom your political views are a priority are not my kind of people.

Did nobody challenge him??? Roast potatoes are the best bit of a dinner!!

My FIL used to clip his napkin to a cord which he wore round his neck. I think the napkin is actually to be on your lap to pick up and dab your mouth after eating rather than to catch food as it falls but I agree with your thoughts!

Exactly. Over-thinking is the thief of joy!

Very normal traditions in the UK too I would hope!

I think if someone announces they are pregnant at work to a group of people, regardless of if baby was planned it means they have decided to have a baby. So the only appropriate response is congratulations.
Different if a very close friend confides in you and tells you they're pregnant.

This.

Middle Aged Men in Lycra

Very well known acronym for weekend hobby cyclists.

I've had this. I went to a lunchtime do at a friend's house and I'd already explained that we'd have to leave a bit early. When I went round the party to find my hosts to thank them and apologise for leaving early a woman (not someone I knew) cheekily said 'Ooh, aren't you posh - going round to thank the host!' And she didn't mean it kindly.

I do try to ignore the ignorant, but honestly!!??

I've had enough of this thoughtless, obnoxious selfishness so I just stay on the path now and they have to move!

Why must you keep a knife in hand at all times 😂

We're currently teaching my 6 year old road safety, so let her cross a road "on her own" the other day with us about 3 feet behind her, and even she put her hand up to say thank you to the driver 😂

I hadn’t thought of this until you posted - this is a massive pet peeve of mine. A conversation is a flow of information backwards & forwards - ie: you ask some questions, you respond to some, conversation naturally flows from there. People who just monologue and monologue and monologue and who answer endless questions about themselves - what are you thinking?! Why are you like this?!

Saying thank you for gifts. Even a non-personalised "thanks for the present" is ok, but more and more I get not even an acknowledgement for a present which really pisses me off to be honest!!!

I agree, I would never turn up at anyone's house empty-handed (although I have to say I don't get the 'when there's children' bit).

I've a friend who doesn't bring anything to a party/gathering. I mean, it's up to her, and usually doesn't impact me, but she once came to something at my house. We'd said to everyone 'bring anything specific you want to drink', but she came with nothing and then asked for a fizzy mineral water, and looked put out when I said I didn't have any

I have genuinely never heard this until now and have only ever worn all black to every funeral I have been to. Now worrying in case people thought me rude or overstepping!

I too am embarrassed to admit this but I did not know this. It wasn't taught to me as a child.

I learned in a very embarrassing way. At work in one of my first jobs aged 18. My colleague went into the toilet after me, came straight back out and said something to a manager. She came to get me and told me that toilets must be left clean for the next person and to use the toilet brush. I had to go in and clean the toilet while my colleague wanted outside for me so she could go in.

So not only did everyone know I had a shit at work, they all knew I didn't clean up after myself. Mortified. Never forgotten it. Never done it again.

I don't agree with this. You are supposed to wear dark tones, and smart modest clothing. It can be all black.
Overstepping would be things like sitting at the front, that's for the family.
Wearing all black is normal.

No. It’s perfectly fine.

I wish people knew that an uninvited 'dropping in' call in the middle of the afternoon should be 15-30 minutes, not three hours.

I know that no gentleman cuts the nose off a brie, which is excellent, because I am NOT A GENTLEMAN. so plenty of lovely brie noses for me.

And I have learned to ask my host/ess 'would you like me to strip the bed?' before doing so.