Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

I'd still feel massively uncomfortable offering congratulations in this situation - it just feels inconsiderate (more so than asking if they'd been trying to me) but I do recognise some people have been taught to do this. But then I've known a few people who were devastated to be pregnant and found the immediate assumption that congratulations were in order very difficult, especially as they had to plaster on a smile or make the situation awkward by explaining that it wasn't a happy situation when they might have preferred that to have been considered first. They were all people who didn't feel that ending the pregnancy was an option for their own individual reasons. Very difficult situation to be in.

It's so sweet when I see kids - even a bunch of teenagers cross a zebra crossing and they wave thanks - it makes me smile every time. I must say most people in our town do it - so if you don't you stand out.

Why did the fork inventor make it a scoop shape if it wasn’t to enable better pea handling?

I volunteer in a theatre, so I don't even get paid for picking up people's crap!
Not all audiences are the same, but I'm afraid the worst are often adults with young children....panto season is grim.
But, I agree, it's disgusting to leave rubbish for any staff to deal with.

That’s not a social convention though, that’s just superstition.

Wow. Thats so cheeky!

Saying thank you to people for inviting you to social occasions.

If I have been invited to dinner or a event someone has organised I always drop a quick email or text afterwards to say thank you - if it is something big like a wedding or large birthday event I will send a card. A friend thought it was a strange thing to do when I sent her a thank you note after their wedding. I was always brought up to thank people for inviting me to social occasions.

The ones that immediately come to mind are: not wearing pyjamas or slippers outside the house, turning up to your host’s empty handed. I can’t get my head round either!

Incredibly rude to tell someone their polite gesture is “strange”.

If they are joint, then the letter will be addressed to Mr and Mrs Smith. Fine - either can open it.
But in my house, all accounts, bills etc are separate, so if the letter says Mrs Smith, then I certainly don't expect Mr to open it! I also wouldn't open his personal mail.

But what are the DRIVERS like in your town?!

“Privacy from what?”
Do some people really only receive communal bills through the mail, and can’t conceive of any other types of communication?
Odd.

I think people are generally nicer than this and mostly stop.
I didn't say otherwise. I'm talking about those who don't.

you would thank someone in a shop who served you, or the ambulance crew who came to help you. They are doing what they 'need' to do, but it's makes the world a nicer place to say thank you
I'm repeating myself here, but I will thank a driver for waiting at a crossing when a driver thanks me for waiting at a red man. Until they do so, they're not making my world a nicer place.

i did find the shock at the casual clothes at a funeral strage as we've been quite casual for many years at funerals where im from! nobody would think anything of it

Wearing in hat in a restaurant.

I'm not in the least bit interested in the information for any other reason than trying to make sure I react in the appropriate way. I do find if frustrating when people just drop an "I'm pregnant" without any indication as to whether they see that as a good thing or not, to be honest (you just have to say it with a big smile to avoid the awkwardness of people trying to be sure it's actually good news before offering congratulations). I know that 9 times out of 10 it will be but I still hope not to upset anyone who isn't in a good place.

Yes, I don't mind if people ask, and I can refuse, it's the ones who just whip out a treat without asking. A tactic dog thieves can use, apart from any dietary issues.

I always raise my hand in thanks if a driver stops at a zebra crossing or lets me cross outside of designated pedestrian crossings - for me it is as much about showing them I have seen what they are doing and I am crossing the road as it is about thanks - so a bit of a safety thing as well.

Until very recently we were advised to wash chicken in the UK. That advice was changed when research showed that washing chicken spreads dangerous bacteria around the kitchen.

People that eat with their mouths open. I see a lot if kids/teens who do it so assume their parents have never taught them how to eat properly or they just don’t care either. It’s disgusting though.

You need a “spork”. Google it and thank me later. It’s the only way to eat a meal with peas in it.

No we weren't unless your definition 'very recently' is based on geological timescales.

Here is a Reddit thread from 14 years ago where the top answer is from a food scientist saying 'don't do it'.

Do you rinse chicken before preparing it for cooking? If so, why? : r/AskCulinary

I would agree mostly, but you do have to be careful about people who may need to wear headgear. My FIL was rudely ordered to remove his cap in a cathedral, which he did, only to reveal to the bossy person a huge cancer op scar!

I know this is a minority thing, but I've learned from that to be a bit cautious!

People who do not use a knife and fork correctly - who stab with a fork and saw with the knife. Transferring the fork to the right hand and picking at food. Moving food around the plate.
At carvery - piling food so you cannot identify what is what - then leaving most of it. At buffets - grabbing food.

But When are you due? would then have to be followed up with some positive comment even if you still weren't sure if congratulations were in order. And one person I asked this at work went bright red making me wonder if some people are uncomfortable with this also? Or maybe it was just a hot flush.

I do think ideally people should give some indication that a pregnancy is a positive or a not so positive thing when announcing the news but I think some people just assume that people will just know that it's a good thing for them.